Same-Sex Marriage: It’s Not All Rainbows and Unicorns

A thoughtful, personal post about the impact of SCOTUS’ making marriage equality the law in the USA from a lesbian’s perspective. I would add my 2 cents, as a bi woman who has eschewed marriage for many reasons: it is NOT a great idea to get married.

Why? People of all backgrounds get married for specious and inadequate reasons, don’t keep their vows (or even understand the consequences of making vows), and divorce as easily as changing houses. I find all that very sad and that is makes “marriage” ridiculous.

That being said, anyone who wants to should be able to make that mistake, have that experience and/or enjoy that right and all the legal rights that come with it, any time, even in Vegas married by a fake Elvis. Period.

Best to you all,


Pamela Helberg

I have some things to say that are not going to be very popular, Dear Reader. Seems to be a trend lately, but I’ve got to be true to myself. Here’s the deal. Yesterday morning when my running buddy texted me asking if I’d seen the SCOTUS ruling yet, my heart sank a little. Not because I don’t believe we need equality. I totally believe we do. I’m just not sure marriage is the best means to that end.

So, while I’m happy that so many people I know are happy, I’ve not rainbowed my Facebook picture. I probably won’t. And here’s why: I’m a failure at gay marriage. As I type this blog, my same-sex marriage is dissolving its way through the Whatcom County Court system. My wife and I (for technically we still are married) were together 15 years. We got legally married in December 2013, and our…

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