19! Please attend, donate, sponsor, support!

03/26/2019 by Sally Ember, EdD

2019 “Gloria Awards: Salute to Women of Vision”: 5/8/19!
Please attend, donate, sponsor, support!

New York City, NY 6 – 11:30 PM

Join Gloria Steinem and Teresa C. Younger at the

Ms. Foundation for Women’s 31^st Annual Gloria Awards

A Salute to Women of Vision

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

6:00 PM ET Cocktails

7:00 PM ET Awards Presentation and Dinner

9:00 PM ET Gloria Awards After Party

At Capitale Bowery • 130 Bowery • New York City

The Gloria Awards is the Ms. Foundation for Women‘s largest annual event, celebrating activists, innovators, and philanthropists who ignite policy and culture change on behalf of women and their communities nationwide. Named after Ms. Foundation Co-Founder, Gloria Steinem, the event pays tribute to the remarkable achievements of feminists whose courage and leadership move us toward our shared vision of a just and inclusive democracy.

Across generations, across the nation, women and girls are standing together to demand change that is overdue. More than ever, women and girls are vocal and mobilized. Generations of women are empowered to create social, political, and economic equity for all genders.

The 2019 Gloria Awards theme—Looking Back on Our Future—honors intergenerational wisdom, courage, and success.

https://forwomen.org/gloria-awards/

Women of Vision Honorees, 2019

dream hampton is an award-winning filmmaker and writer from Detroit. Her most recent work, “Surviving R. Kelly”, Lifetime Television (2019), broke ratings records and had wide and far-reaching impact.

Grassroots activist and Latinx advocate Angeline Echeverría, Executive Director of El Pueblo, Inc., specializing in leadership development for Latinx youth and adults in the Raleigh, North Carolina community.

Human rights defender and advocate Deon Haywood, Executive Director of Women with a Vision in New Orleans, improving the lives of marginalized women, their families, and communities through advocacy, health education, supportive services, and community-based participatory research.

Marie C. Wilson Emerging Leader Honoree

Sana Amanat, Vice President of Content & Character Development, Marvel Entertainment. Her past editorial credits include Captain Marvel, Hawkeye, and Miles Morales. She is most known for co-creating a Muslim-American female super hero named Kamala Khan – the new Ms. Marvel – which gained worldwide media attention and sparked excitement and dialogue about identity and the Muslim-American narrative.

Peggy Charren/Free to Be You and Me Honorees

Layla Bagwell, Jessica Hernandez-Garcia and Charlotte Iradukunda--15 year-old members of the Idaho Coalition Against Sexual and Domestic Violence, who created a Facebook campaign to support Dr. Christine Blasey Ford during her Supreme Court testimony. In addition, their letter writing campaign garnered over 117,00 signatures, including hundreds of women who disclosed their own experience of sexual assault as teenagers.

Ms. Foundation for Women
https://forwomen.org/

Questions?

212-709-4444

events@ms.foundation.org
FMI:

https://e.givesmart.com/events/c8Z/

REPOSTING: TEN Ways to Encourage #Victims of Any Age to #Report #Sexual and Other #Abuse

12/07/2017 by Sally Ember, EdD

REPOSTING, from 2014:
Because of the uproar over the continually surfacing reports of sexual assault perpetrated by [SO MANY MORE THAN] Bill Cosby on now-adult (or then-adult) women, these topics are now front-and-center in the media and, I hope, in private as well. Why do people refrain from reporting right after having been assaulted? Many reasons.

Let’s NOT give them reasons to keep silent any more!

Here are TEN Ways to Encourage #Victims of Any Age to #Report #Sexual and Other #Abuse. Learn, use them, SHARE!

ONE
Believe what they tell you until you’re sure one way or the other. This is the one situation in which the accused should be considered guilty until proven innocent, especially when children are the victims. It is hard enough to come forward with a report of an assault, especially after a long time has passed. The likelihood that this report is false is very low.

TWO
Be outraged on their behalf. Consider that this IS true and this DID happen: aren’t you incensed? This is NOT the time to be doubting or dismissive. If, in the very rare cases that it occurs, this turns out not to be an accurate report or did not happen, you have lost nothing but some time and your trust in this person.

If, however, it is TRUE—a report of assault usually is—this crime or repeated crimes occurred. If you do not respond as an advocate, you will regret it for the rest of your life. It will do irreparable harm to the victim, to you and to your relationship for you to have doubted him/her in a time of great need. If you had been in a position to prevent or protect and you did not succeed prior to this, you are especially culpable. By not believing, you will have doubly failed him/her in a way that is usually unforgivable. If you do not actively support ending the crimes against him/her by continuing to fail to protect, you may actually be liable.

In some states, knowing of assault crimes and not preventing, reporting or otherwise behaving in ways that protect future victimization makes you a criminal: you are seen as a collaborator, an accessory, by knowing what you now know and keeping silent. This makes you potentially likely to be prosecuted yourself.

THREE
Allow your protective, compassionate aspects to prevail. You may feel very intense emotions as you listen to this report of a crime that hurt this person very badly: angry, helpless, scared, worried, anxious. However, this is NOT your time to vent. It is inappropriate to behave in such a way that the attention refocuses on YOU and your “hard time.” Be there for the victim right now, even if you were somehow involved or feel guilty. Control your emotions enough so that you can vent some other time, with someone else.

NOTE: If you know the perpetrator, especially if the perpetrator is someone you are related to by family or friendship, is a workplace or school peer, is someone you live near or have to see often, protect yourself.

DO NOT CONFRONT the perpetrator by yourself unless you are sure you are safe to do so. There are authorities, support groups, other friends or family members who can accompany you or do the confronting. Let them do it.

FOUR
Ignore any past dishonesty, prevarication, or other “reasons” to doubt the reporter or the report. The “rape shield” law is there for many reasons, and this is the major one: the VICTIM’s past behaviors, character or misdeeds DO NOT MATTER here.

The only person responsible for an assault is the perpetrator. Period. No one “made” him/her do it. It doesn’t matter what the perpetrator claims were “causes,” particularly if the perpetrator tries to turn it back on the victim. “She asked for it,” “He liked it,” “We’ve been close like that plenty of times before” are all excuses and do not absolve the perpetrator from criminal charges if an assault occurred. “No” means “No.”

FIVE
Treat sexual assault, abuse of children, rape, child molestation as the CRIMES that they are. Assault is not an “accident,” a “misunderstanding,” a “joke,” a “one-time thing,” “just the way things are.” We each have the right NOT to be violated by another person. Period.

Also, DO NOT AGREE to keep this a “secret,” even if the victim begs you not to tell. Maintaining secrecy is NOT doing any favors for this victim. Really.

If the victim is a legal adult, you can discuss how, when, to whom this report should be made, and ways you can support the further reporting. However, if s/he won’t agree to tell anyone else, you should not promise to maintain this secret. The perpetrator WILL NOT STOP until s/he is forced to stop. Usually, stopping happens only when the criminal is arrested and incarcerated.

Remind him/her: potential future victims could be protected—saved—by this victim’s report because every report helps lead to subsequent arrest, prosecution and imprisonment of the perpetrator.

Reporting is empowering and liberating. Keeping the crime a secret is neither of those.

Some people who are members of religious, cultural or family groups are victimized repeatedly but group sanctions prevent reporting. YOU CAN HELP by following these guidelines and being sensitive to the extra barriers for victims in these groups.

image from a Board on Pinterest called “Anti-Rape and Feminism” http://www.pinterest.com/allysuperbee/anti-rape-and-feminism/

For more about reporting requirements when USA adult women are the victims: http://goo.gl/eT2lA2
The National Center for the Prosecution of Violence Against Women
American Prosecutors Research Institute
1-703-549-9222

For more information about male victims of violence in the USA: http://www.ncadv.org/files/MaleVictims.pdf
from The Public Policy Office of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
(NCADV)

NOTE: If you are listening to a report from a minor, a child, and you are an adult, in many states ALL adults are “mandatory reporters.” This means you MUST take notes and call or send in your notes to authorities when you hear of child victimization, even if you’re uncertain as to the veracity of the claim. You are a mandatory reporter and MUST report if you work or volunteer in certain occupations in most states. Find your county, province, parish or state’s reporting phone number or email and USE IT.

Ethically, legally, morally, you SHOULD report in order to stop crimes by this perpetrator from recurring and to protect the victim from future assaults. You must try to make sure the child is safe going forward. HOWEVER, if you are NOT a mandatory reporter, not in social services, not a family member, get some advice and support.

SIX
Keep any shame, guilt, humiliation or other baggage of yours or from his/her past OUT of this conversation. Whatever they said/did not say, wore, did/did not do, wherever they were located, however he/she conducted his/her life, THIS IS NOT THE VICTIM’s FAULT.

Rapists rape. Child molesters molest. Assaulters assault. Criminals commit crimes. Period.

Also, use the correct language: language is powerful. Calling someone a “pedophile” doesn’t even sound as bad as “child molester,” so use “child molester” or “perpetrator of sexual assault on a minor child.” Both are accurate and give appropriate weight to the crimes. “Sexual harassment” is NOT the same as “rape,” but they are both crimes. Learn what each of those circumstances includes.

“Date rape,” “acquaintance rape” or “dating violence” labels reduce the significance of the assault by positioning familiarity as the main label. Don’t downgrade the importance and don’t minimize the impact in these ways, because studies have shown that victims who knew their perpetrators suffered longer and more intensely.

Why? Because victims who knew their assaulters were not just physically assaulted, they were often emotionally terrorized prior to and after the assault, devastated by the breach of trust, intimidated and threatened by the perpetrator to prevent reporting, and forced to continue to be in the presence of the perpetrator after the assault occurred or while assaults continued.

image from http://www.reachofmaconcounty.org

SEVEN
Recognize and honor the trust this person is putting in you by revealing this information. THANK THEM for telling you. Become his/her advocate. Guide him/her to understand that secrecy only protects the perpetrator. Strongly, kindly encourage him/her to tell more people, especially police or other legal officials, even if the statute of limitations prevents arrest or prosecution.

NOTE: Almost ALL perpetrators have more than one victim, over many years. Every accusation publicly recorded helps police follow the perpetrator’s trail to a newer victim so that arrest and prosecution CAN occur.

EIGHT
Acknowledge the courage it took for them to come forward, regardless of how long it took them to do so. It doesn’t matter if the assault occurred twenty minutes or twenty years ago: right now, the violation and injury are “current” for the victim. Consider that while they are telling you about their pain, fear, sorrow, confusion, hurt, anger.

NINE
DO NOT ASK them what they were doing, “how it happened,” or any other victim-blaming questions. There will be plenty of time to get the “whole story.” While they talk, you LISTEN. When they are finished talking, help him/her decide what to do next. Speak soothingly. Hold them while they cry. Offer tissues. You are not the prosecutor. It is NOT your role to cross-examine or overly question them at this time. Be kind. Remember your relationship.

image from https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/rapists-cause-rape

TEN
Encourage them to go/go with them to a hospital if the assault happened within the last 24-48 hours. This is the critical time to collect evidence, get examined, be treated, etc. If the victim has not yet bathed or showered, convince him/her not to do that until after the forensic and medical exams. Take charge. Drive/accompany him/her.

#metoo

RESOURCES
There are many resources available to educate yourself and others with more than these ten recommendations. Here is a great one, The Pennsylvania Coaltion Against Rape (PCAR): http://www.pcar.org/blog/common-victim-behaviors-survivors-sexual-abuse

Here are some more:

USA “hotline” reporting phone numbers:

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE

National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE

National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD

For more information and to report assault of USA women (applies to men as well): Rape and Sexual Assault Reporting Laws, from The National Center for the Prosecution of Violence Against Women (NCPVAW) http://www.ndaa.org/pdf/the_voice_vol_1_no_3_2006.pdf

and, [during the OBAMA administration, there was a report generated by the] USA White House in January, 2014, Rape and Sexual Assault: A Renewed Call to Action, for assaults against women and girls (applies to males as well): http://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default/files/docs/sexual_assault_report_1-21-14.pdf

For more information and to understand the laws about reporting crimes against USA children/youth:
Child Help USA (for victims, offenders and parents) 800-4-A-CHILD or (800-422-4453)

Help for USA youth victims:

National Youth Crisis Home (a referral hotline for youth in crisis)

1-800-HIT- HOME (800-448-4663)

I hope this post helps you and future victims experience better receptivity, support and aid. SHARE.

What #Issues are/were YOU are the “Right” side of?

09/08/2016 by Sally Ember, EdD

Being on the “right” side of so many issues, for his/herstory, is exhausting but satisfying.

So, VOTE and make your voices heard in EVERY election, especially local ones.

Why?

First, they call us crazy.

Then, they say we’re “conspiracy nuts” (a less vague variation on “crazy”) because, of course, our government/ those priests/ the leaders of whatever institution can’t all be lying or wrong…

Next, “popular” opinion starts to sway because FACTS are on our side, but most people aren’t persuaded, yet.

So, the media starts to report that maybe, just maybe, we “outliers” and “extremists” could be correct.

The media’s hesitancy is paid for by the politicians and corporations who are promoting the other side/maintaining the status quo, so most still say we’re “unpatriotic,” or “angry,” or (when we are women) “bitches,” and when we are not white, “terrorists.”

Then, more FACTS on our side emerge, having actually (oh, horrors! so shocking!) been suppressed, denied, lied about and otherwise hidden from public view prior to having been irrevocably exposed, usually (now) by a hacker (or, in the olden days, by a brave reporter or other whistleblower who often ended up dead or imprisoned, as hackers do, now).

Then, lawsuits and riots and protests and demonstrations are occurring regularly, still mostly not covered or not covered accurately by the media. And, we are still RIGHT and now we are WINNING.

Finally, usually a long time before “popular opinion” completey changes, a few brave and prescient lawmakers create bills which pass into laws, or the majority of the Supreme Court happens to agree on a sane and rational decision (for a change), so laws force change. Slowly, and not without detractors, protestors, idiots and others who NOW are the “crazies” and “terrorists,’ society moves ahead.

AND (whew!), many dead bodies and ruined lives later, we “win.”

Yippee.

Then, see how they all relate? “Intersectionality” is the understanding that one oppression /one injustice links to many others—perhaps ALL others.

Add to my list of issues you are/have been on the “right” side of, here in the comments on my site: http://www.sallyember.com/blog

I WAS/AM WE ARE/WERE RIGHT ABOUT THESE ISSUES:

Pro Voting Rights and Access to Honest and Fair Elections for all

which goes with

Anti Dakota Access Pipeline

which goes with
Pro Environment = Pro Clean Air; Clean Water; Pro Arable Land; Anti Pesticides; Anti Poisons and Pollutants; Anti GMOs and Seeds Stealing; Recognizing Climate Change as REAL; Pro Organic/Healthy Foods, Medicines, Hygiene products, Household cleaners, etc.; Anti Vaccinations (until properly vetted and proven more beneficial than harmful); Anti Chemotherapy (until proven more beneficial than harmful)

and

Pro Alternative Energies/ Less reliance on oil/gasoline

and

Anti Fracking

and

Pro Green Burials and Cremations

and

Pro Green Housing/Offices

and

Pro Electric Cars

and

Pro better Public Transportation

which also go with

Pro Natives’/ Indigenous Peoples’ Freedom and Autonomy in the West and other countries/continents

and

Pro Black Lives Matter (and, no: it is NOT the same as “All Lives Matter,” so stop saying that!)

which goes with

Pro Civil Rights for all = Anti Racism

and

Anti Imperialism

and

Pro Freedom for Tibet

and

Anti Colonialism

and

Anti Apartheid

and

Anti Royal Rule/ Dynasties everywhere

and

Pro Palestinian Independence (if nonviolent)

and

Anti Israeli and Palestinian violence

and

Anti Sharia Law

which go with

Anti Imprisonment according to Race/Economic Status and the “Three Strikes” Laws

and

Anti The School-to-Prison Pipeline

and

Civil Rights also goes with

Pro Access = ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) = Anti Disabilities discrimination

and

Pro Marriage Equality

and

Pro Affirmative Action = Anti Racism/ Anti Classism / Anti Religious Discrimination

and

Pro Human Rights and Anti Human Rights Violators

and

Pro Women’s Right to Choose/Reproductive Rights of all kinds (birth control, women’s health check-ups, Planned Parenthood Clinics, abortions

and

Pro Single-Payer, Government-Sponsored Health Care for All

and

Anti Genital Mutilation of both males and females (“circumcision”)

and

Pro Women’s autonomy (access to individual credit, access to all types of work, equal pay, etc.) = Anti Sexism

and

Pro Regulation and Monitoring of Sex Workers /Legalization of Prostitution

and

Anti Weight Loss drugs and industries

and

Anti Brassieres/Bras unless necessary for sports/exercise and comfort purposes

Symptoms of Ill-Fitting Bras

and

Anti Make-up/Cosmetics (except for costuming/theatrical and fun purposes)

and

Anti High Heels

and

Anti Cosmetic surgery

and

Anti “Welfare Reform”

and

Anti “Right to Work”

and

Pro Affordable Day Care

and

Pro Free and Equal Public Education, from Pre-School through Community and state College levels

and

Anti Sexual Harassment

and

Anti Domestic Violence and “women as property” of husbands/men

and

Anti Child Abuse/Child Labor and “children as property of adults”

and

Anti Sexualization of Children

Pro Legalization of all recreational drugs, particularly marijuana

which goes with

Anti Addiction demonization and “treatment” industry

Anti War (all of them) and Pro Peace

Photograph by Leif Skoogfors, used with permission, 1970

which goes with

Anti Nuclear power plants and weapons

and

Anti Weapons proliferation

Anti Corporate greed and malfeasance, including “Citizen’s United” law

which goes with

Pro better Banks’ Monitoring and better Regulations and Enforcement

and

Pro Wall Street’s Monitoring and better Regulations and Enforcement

and

Pro Transparency

Pro Meditation

which goes with

Pro Emotional Intelligence

and

Pro Music and Arts Education

and

Pro Recess and Physical Education for Youth

and

Pro Science Education (especially for girls/women and minorities)

Honoring World #Poetry Day, March 21st, with a review of Ursula K. Le Guin’s latest collection

03/20/2016 by Sally Ember, EdD

World Poetry Day is March 21st, 2016: Celebrate Poetry Globally

To honor this day and #Women’s History Month, both, I’m reviewing and discussing some of the poems from one of my favorite poets and authors, fellow #feminist/#Buddhist Ursula K. Le Guin. Her latest collection, Late in the Day: Poems 2010-2014, is a delight.

late in the day real
Late in the Day: Poems 2010-2014, by Ursula K. Le Guin
http://www.ursulakleguin.com/Index-LateInTheDay.html

Ursula K. Le Guin is my favorite writer. No contest. In fact, I wrote a review of another poetry collection early this year, which I enjoyed enormously: https://sallyember.com/2016/01/19/homage-to-and-review-of-ursula-k-le-guins-finding-my-elegy-new-and-selected-poems/ Some of the explanations of my connection to Le Guin are repeated from that post, below.

I have enjoyed, admired, appreciated, envied and learned from her novels, novellas, short stories, essays, and poetry for over forty years. She is about my mom’s age (in her early 80s, now) and still going strong. She is my idol, my mentor, and my role model. I also found out, after reading a recent collection, that she and I share not only a love of writing, speculative fiction, feminism, social justice, pacifism and environmentalism, but also, Buddhism and meditation. Frabjous day!

Poetry is meant to be read aloud. I enjoy reading poetry aloud as if I am the poet, wondering as I hear each word, line, idea, image, stanza, what the poet was imagining and how this exact turn of phrase came to capture it. Knowing how long many poets take to conjure the precise manner in which to describe and evoke every part of their intention, I want to savor it.

I do NOT read in that artificial, almost-questioning (upturned inflection on the end of lines), drawling almost-monotone that many poetry readers make the horrible mistake of using.

No.

I read poetry aloud as if each poem is its own story, because this unique version of that story is interesting, new, and not mine. I use the line breaks and punctuation as suggestions to help me go with the poet’s flow. I smile, I laugh, I pause, I taste the words on my tongue.

Try it. You’ll like it!

In her introduction, Le Guin discusses the interdependent relationships among seemingly inanimate objects (whose apparent lack of sentience she and others challenge), places, humans, animals, life events and circumstances with eloquence and grace. As in all of her public writing and speeches, she has a way of turning things around with her verbal kaleidoscope to inspire us to see things from new perspectives with each turn. Her unique points of view become more accessible as one continues to read and ponder her body of work, which I’ve been doing for over forty years (she’s been writing for over 60).

This collection is divided into eight sections: Relations, Contemplations, Messengers, Four Lines, Works, Times, The Old Music and Envoi, but I couldn’t explain them or why some poems are in one but not another section. I was very impressed, though, with her poems about things, especially kitchen objects. Amazing.

Enough of all that explanatory stuff. You can get that elsewhere and any time. Let’s enjoy some of her poems!

I marked pages of this book with pieces of scrap paper so I’d remember which stanzas, poems, titles, lines caught my heart. Here are some, in no particular order. I sometimes annotate or explain. Find your own parts to love and for your own reasons.

Le Guin has many poems rooted (pun intended) in nature, and those in this collection follow that trend. She is also the child of two anthropologists and somewhat of a social and physical scientist herself. I love this opinion she expressed poetically and eloquently, from the introduction to this volume (excerpted from a speech she gave in May, 2014, at a conference that occurred at the University of California/Santa Cruz, “Anthropocene: Arts of Living on a Damaged Planet”), in which she explained her view of the relationship between poetry and science and why we need both:

Science describes accurately from outside, poetry describes accurately from inside. Science explicates, poetry implicates. Both celebrate what they describe. We need the languages of both science and poetry to save us from merely stockpiling endless “information” that fails to inform our ignorance or our irresponsibility.

By replacing unfounded, willful opinion, science can increase moral sensitivity; by demonstrating and performing aesthetic order or beauty, poetry can move minds to the sense of fellowship that prevents careless usage and exploitation of our fellow beings, waste and cruelty. (p. ix)

One of my favorites from this collection, Constellating, situates relationships between people as if between stars:

Constellating
Mind draws the lines between the stars
that let the Eagle and the Swan
fly vast and bright and far
above the dark before the dawn.

Between two solitary minds
as far as Deneb from Altair,
love flings the unimaginable line
that marries fire to fire.

How beautifully she depicts that intangible bond humans create to connect us which is like nothing else, yet she finds the commonality in constellations.

In The Games, Le Guin manages to indicate our views on aging and reflecting on past accomplishments in a perfect metaphor:

The Games
The crowds that cheered me when I took the Gold,
who were they then? Where are they now?
It’s queer to think about. Do they know how
you look at the hurdles, long before you’re old,
and wonder how you ever ran that race?
I’m not sorry, now all’s said and done,
to lie here by myself with nowhere to run,
in quiet, in this immense dark place.

Definition, or, Seeing the Horse is the type of poem about poetry that I usually eschew. But, one stanza from it is so perfect I have to share it, here, because it perfectly captures the limitations of poetry:

Definition, or, Seeing the Horse
from iii. Judith’s Fear of Naming
To define’s not to confine,
words can’t reach so far.
Even the poet’s line can only hold
a moment of the uncontainable.
The horse runs free.

Le Guin has written many essays, books and articles about the art and craft of writing, but never have I read or heard her convey what she feels about being a writer so well as in this poem, My Job. She lyricizes about writing’s being something she first learned as a child (“I started out as a prentice”) and is still learning. My favorite of her sentiments are these:

from My Job
Sometimes the pay is terrible.
Sometimes it’s only fairy gold.
Then again sometimes the wages
are beyond imagination and desire.
I am glad to have worked for this company.

Two poems, side-by-side in this book (which cannot be an accident), show her wonderful deployment of language and imagery: Sea Hallowe’en and Between. In all of her poems, she demonstrates her mastery of many different poetic forms: rhyming and non-rhyming, exploding into free verse and staying within those more formally ruled for meter, line length, repetition and other constraints. She calls herself a “caperer,” in her essay about her poetic choices and learning to write in various forms in her Afterword, meaning, one who moves among all forms and free verse as she wishes. She also writes here about how a form can “give” her a poem. Fascinating stuff. Love to read about her process.

From Between, I especially admire this final couplet:

A winter wind just whispers where
two winter trees stand tense and bare.

And, from Sea Hallowe’en, who can’t love this whimsical phrasing that ends each of the stanzas?

west to the tide rising,
cold, cold and wild.

a ghost on a north wind blowing
wild, wild and cold.

At best, I am a mediocre poet, despite having been published and won poetry prizes at a younger age, having written songs that were performed, and including my poetry in my science-fiction books as if written by its protagonist, Clara (http://www.sallyember.com/Spanners for more information). I make no claims to being an actual poet if Ursula K. Le Guin is an example. I yield and bow to her and many others for entertaining, informing, inspiring and enlivening us with their use of words and images.

She writes and speaks often about the rewards of writing and art and the politics and capitalism that haunt the industry. This poetry collection is ended with a speech she gave on these topics. The final lines are very moving:

I’ve had a long career as a writer, and a good one, in good company. Here at the end of it, I don’t want to watch American literature get sold down the river. We who live by writing and publishing want and should demand our fair share of the proceeds, but the name of our beautiful reward isn’t profit. its name is freedom.

Yes.

Ursula K Le Guin photo
image from her website, photo ©by Marian Wood Kolisch

Thank you, Ursula, for sharing your deep and soulful moments with us all. May your contributions to our literary and emotional landscapes always be known as blessings while you still live and after you die, and may all beings benefit.

Find these poems, this and all her other work here: http://www.ursulakleguin.com

For more information about poetic forms and World Poetry Day:

Poetry adds moments of beauty to our everyday lives, connects our emotions in unique ways, and helps people everywhere express themselves in amazing ways. Poetry of all kinds is definitely something to celebrate, so join us in looking around the world for inspiration. In honor of World Poetry Day, we (The New Rivers Press) wanted to share with you some unique global poetry styles.

Ghazal: an ancient form of poetry dating back to 700 CE in the Arab lands, and later Persia. It is fairly intricate, but contains anywhere from 5 to 15 independent couplets that create a beautiful whole, all with lines of the same length, meter, or syllable count. It is an extremely well-known form in Iran, where the 14th-century Persian writer, Hafez, published his famous ghazal collection, the Divan of Hafez. For examples of ghazals and more detailed information, visit http://poets.org or The Ghazal Page.

Haiku: arguably one of the most well-known types of international poetry forms, this form comes from ancient Japan. It consists of three short lines with five, seven, and five syllables each. The subject of a haiku was originally restricted to nature and the seasons, but that later was opened up to many different subject matters. Some of the most famous Japanese haiku writers include Basho (the “saint of haiku” in Japan), Buson, and Issa. For more in-depth history of the haiku, check out Poetry through the Ages or Encyclopedia Brittanica.

Doha: another ancient form of poetry common in India. It is a 24-syllable couplet, typically in Hindi. The lines are split unevenly, with the first line having 13 syllables and the second having 11 syllables. It was made more famous by such poets as Kabir and Nanak at the end of the 15th century and beginning of the 16th century, as well as Goswami Tulsidas, whose work, Ramcharitmanas, is still famous among Hindus across northern India. To find out more about this and many other poetry forms, explore the book A Poet’s Glossary, by Edward Hirsch.
from The New Rivers Press‘ newsletter, Riverine, Volume 3, Issue 7, http://www.newriverspress.com/

Also, the Poetry Foundation has a great website and mobile phone app that can put almost any poem and poet right into your hands any time: http://www.poetryfoundation.org They also put out Poetry Magazine and a poetry podcast.

Advocacy, Entitlement and Knowing When to Complain: The Rights of Poor People

02/23/2016 by Sally Ember, EdD

Advocacy, Entitlement and Knowing When to Complain: The Rights of Poor People

If you are new to this blog, you may not know that I was in an accident about two years ago that resulted in a broken nose and concussion as well as other injuries. The concussion was not one of the “good” kind, meaning, I have still not completely recovered.

This deterioration in my health caused me to run through my savings and unemployment benefits in California and have to rely on others. Finally, I am privileged to benefit from my mother’s having space and a generous heart, allowing me to move in with her in St. Louis about 18 months ago.

Missouri, however, is not a great place to live if you are indigent. This post is the third in a series about my experiences here. This third one is on poor people’s rights. The second was on food for indigent people in Missouri (published February 16, 2016, http://wp.me/p2bP0n-1BL). The first one was on health care (published February 9, 2016, http://wp.me/p2bP0n-1By).

This post is important because it looks at the underlying issues that make a difficult situation (being poor) worse or better for each person. The intersections of perceived or claimed race/ethnicity, perceived or claimed gender, perceived or claimed social class, perceived or claimed age, home/best language, physical and mental health and (dis)abilities, perceived or claimed religion, perceived or claimed sexual orientation, and economic status in the city of St. Louis, Missouri, USA, in the mid-20teens, can adversely influence, improve or neutrally affect one’s experiences every moment.

“Intersectionality” is an important part of understanding how poverty impacts each person and family differently. Therefore, in this series, I need to bring in the politics of social identity. We all have to learn to address these overlapping oppressions and unfair treatments to help ourselves understand how everything is NOT actually “equal” regardless of the similarities in two people’s incomes.

Intersectionality includes all of these components of one’s social identity.

It’s not “all good.”

It doesn’t have to be this way.

It ISN’T what it IS “naturally”: people and then institutions run by people make things this way and create/perpetuate systems that keep them this way.

Missouri is one of the worst places to be if you’re poor, but it’s not even the worst by any standards. Your experience all depends on the other components of your social identity. If you’re believed to be a white male, seemingly in good health and able-bodied, perceived to be heterosexual, assumed to be Christian, speaking mid-Western-accented English like a native, have at least some college education and otherwise seeming to be a USA “mainstream” guy between the ages of 25 – 65, you are going to be much better treated and fare better even when you’re poor than if you do not claim or cannot pull off having others believe you have all or any of those social identities.

If you’re also not a felon, have a place to live (a legal address) and (the use of) a car, you’re probably not going to be poor for very long.

Unless you’re obese. Unless you’re smelly. Unless you’re an addict. Unless you’re perceived to be “not one of us” in whatever way “us” is defined: then, you’re in some trouble. But, even with those cards stacked against you, as a poor assumed-to-be-white & -Christian with some education who speaks adequate English and can pass for straight and male and under age 65, you’re still going to be better off than anyone who isn’t.

no isms allowed

Change one aspect—gender—and things automatically get much worse. Change two—ethnicity/race and gender—and you’re doomed.

Check this out, from Everyday Feminism, June 20, 2015 by Carmen Rios “These 5 Statistics Prove That We’re Feminizing Poverty (And Keeping Women Down in the Process)” http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/feminizing-poverty/
— “Despite the overall poverty rate declining in America, 18 million women remain below the poverty line.”
—“Women are poorer than men in every state, regardless of education or geographic location. And for women of color, elderly women, and LGBTQIA+ women, it’s even worse.”
—“The poverty rate for Native American, Black, and Latina women is almost double the poverty rate for white women.”
—“For women, and especially women of color, the fight to raise the minimum wage to $10.10 or $15 is very personal—and could be the difference, for them, between barely surviving and finally thriving.”
—“…over a lifetime, women lose an average of $434,000 to the wage gap.”
—“One of the most important aspects of intersectional feminism is the understanding that when we fight for the most marginalized women, we liberate all women along with them.”

And, from other sources (see below) that add in education and other factors to race/ethnicity and gender with income levels:
—“White households take home between $10,000 to $20,000 more per year than their Black counterparts in every age bracket”
—“Enrollment in ‘high poverty’ schools for Black children is 41 percent, 38 percent for Hispanic children, 31 percent for American Indian/Alaska Native and a mere six percent for Whites.”
—“Even when Black and minority children attend mixed schools, they are more likely to be tracked into remedial or basic classes while their White counterparts take advanced, honors level courses.”
—“70 percent of students arrested or referred to law enforcement for school-related infractions were Black or Latino.”
—“While people of color only comprise about 30 percent of the US population, they account for 60 percent of those imprisoned.”
—“There is no such thing as unbiased, unpolitical education.”
—“People with ‘Black’ or ‘ethnic-sounding’ names are less likely to get callbacks for interviews.”
—“Blacks are more likely to be born into poverty and are less likely to escape it.”
—“Whites are 2-3 times more likely to make it into the middle class in their lifetimes compared to their black counterparts.”

poverty-is-violence
from http://iamarevolutionary.wordpress.com
Poverty IS violence. It has to stop.

Find a well-vetted nonprofit that advocates and works to end poverty and understands intersectionality and contribute, volunteer, blog about their work! Here is one: http://www.results.org/

Good news! We made this mess; we can clean it up.

Mandela quote about poverty
Nelson Mandela, Audre Lorde, Martin Luther King, Jr., Angela Davis, Gloria Steinem and so many more have spoken out about the nature of the human-made elements of our social and political systems and the oppressions they systematize.

WE are the ones who must advocate, complain, recognize that we are entitled to better and that so is everyone else, and ACT!

—Do not sit by and watch passively when others are mistreated, disrespected, unfairly scheduled or managed, especially when you are in any position of better privilege: it is your DUTY to advocate whenever you are able.
—Write letters, blog, make phone calls, picket, march, show up and let those in power know you are not satisfied with the “status quo.” Be specific.
—VOTE! It is your DUTY and responsibility as a USA citizen who can vote (if you are one) to use that right in EVERY election. It is the LOCAL elections that most affect people who live near you, and regional and state office holders who make laws that affect us all. Federal elections matter, too, but not as obviously or as immediately.

WIN_20141104_095753 I VOTE! And, as of early March, I am working as a election-day supervisor at a local polling place!

—THEREFORE, do not ignore bond issues, council and mayoral elections, county positions, state office holders’ elections and only vote on presidential ballots. ALL VOTES MATTER!

Want to know more? Have a read:

From October, 2015, inGenere.it: “Intersectionality. Putting together
things that are often kept apart” by Jeff Hearn
http://www.ingenere.it/en/articles/intersectionality-putting-together-things-are-often-kept-apart

From February, 2015, NPR: “Study: Black Girls Are Being Pushed Out of School” by Karen Grigsby Bates
http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2015/02/13/384005652/study-black-girls-are-being-pushed-out-of-school

From February, 2015, the the Frisky: “18 Things White America Needs To Reconcile To Truly Become Colorblind” by Tiffanie Drayton
http://www.thefrisky.com/2015-02-26/18-things-white-america-needs-to-reconcile-to-truly-become-colorblind/

If you appreciated this series, please reblog/share it, comment, ask to be a guest blogger and contribute your own point of view or write on a related topic: http://www.sallyember.com

This third post was on advocacy and intersectionality (published on February 23, 2016, http://wp.me/p2bP0n-1C2).
The second was on food for indigent people in Missouri (published February 16, 2016, http://wp.me/p2bP0n-1BL).
The first one was on health care (published February 9, 2016, http://wp.me/p2bP0n-1By).

“Best of 2015” Book Lists from several sources, including PASTE online zine’s “30 #Best” in #Fiction, #Nonfiction and #YA Fiction from 2015

01/02/2016 by Sally Ember, EdD

“Best of 2015” Book Lists from several sources, including PASTE online zine’s “30 #Best” in #Fiction, #Nonfiction and #YA Fiction from 2015

I present only the lists, here, with titles and authors for fiction and a brief categorization for nonfiction. Go to the links to read each reviewer’s summary and opinions of each entry, below. I also present a few alternative lists and authors, just so you know some of what else is out there.

Read! Enjoy! Buy/borrow books! Write reviews!

(NOTE: PASTE also provides the 30 best cookbooks, 18 documentaries about writers, and more at http://www.pastemagazine.com/books )

30 Best Fiction of 2015 from PASTE
[20 of 30 are male. Sigh.]
http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2015/12/the-30-best-fiction-books-of-2015.html
By Frannie Jackson & Tyler R. Kane | December 16, 2015
1. Fates and Furies by Lauren Groff
2. Language Arts by Stephanie Kallos
3. The Wolf Border by Sarah Hall
4. City on Fire by Garth Risk Hallberg
5. Purity by Jonathan Franzen
6. The Harder They Come by T.C. Boyle
7. The First Bad Man by Miranda July (short story collection)
8. So You Don’t Get Lost in the Neighborhood by Patrick Modiano
9. You Too Can Have a Body Like Mine by Alexandra Kleeman
10. Woman with a Blue Pencil by Gordon McAlpine
11. Did You Ever Have a Family by Bill Clegg
12. Fortune Smiles by Adam Johnson (short story collection)
13. The Water Knife by Paolo Bacigalupi
14. Our Souls at Night by Kent Haruf
15. The Incarnations by Susan Barker
16. The Unfortunates by Sophie McManus
17. Sweetland by Michael Crummey
18. Suitcase City by Sterling Watson
19. Submission by Michel Houellebecq
20. Paradise City by Elizabeth Day
21. The Unnoticeables by Robert Brockway
22. Seveneves by Neal Stephenson
23. The Rocks by Peter Nichols
24. Girl at War by Sara Nović
25. Golden Son by Pierce Brown
26. Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman (short story collection)
27. Golden State by Stephanie Kegan
28. Morte by Robert Repino
29. A Poet of the Invisible World by Michael Golding
30. The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah

Here are some other fiction lists “best of 2015” from different perspectives, which I appreciate enormously. Please go peruse these annotated lists at the links provided, below, to pick from each a few to read yourself! Ask your local library and bookstores to carry your favorites! Write reviews!

—-

“Top 10 Feminist Books of 2015” 12/23/15 by Kitty Lindsay from Ms. Magazine
Has a mix of fiction, poetry and non-fiction with titles almost no one else lists (big surprise), with several written by some of feminism’s iconic leaders and award-winning authors (even has two male authors!), including:
God Help the Child by Toni Morrison (Fiction)
I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou (Autobiography; poetry) (a re-issue from 1969, commemorating her passing in 2015)
Stone Mattress by Margaret Atwood (Fiction; short story collection)
My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem (Memoir)
Then Comes Marriage: United States v. Windsor and the Defeat of DOMA by Roberta Kaplan with Lisa Dickey (Non-Fiction)
How To Grow Up by Michelle Tea (Memoir)
Headscarves and Hymens: Why the Middle East Needs a Sexual Revolution by Mona Eltahawy (Non-Fiction)
Octavia’s Brood: Science-Fiction Stories From Social Justice Movements Edited by Walidah Imarisha and adrienne maree brown (Science-Fiction Anthology; including authors Tananarive Due, LeVar Burton, Terry Bisson and essayists, activists, artists, filmmakers, journalists) ALSO, editor adrienne maree brown, “an independent science-fiction scholar and a social justice activist, has been chosen as the 2015-16 Le Guin Feminist Science Fiction Fellow. Brown lives in Detroit, Michigan…. The Le Guin Feminist Science Fiction Fellowship, now in its third year, is sponsored equally by the Center for the Study of Women in Society, Robert D. Clark Honors College, and the UO Libraries Special Collections and University Archives. The award supports travel for the purpose of research on, and work with, the papers of feminist science fiction authors housed in the Knight Library”; AND editor, Walidah Imarisha wins the Tiptree Award (named for feminist female author who wrote under the name “James Tiptree, Jr.,” in order to get published in the sci-fi world as a woman) and cash prize for 2015!
Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by Jon Krakauer (Non-Fiction)
Living in the Crosshairs: The Untold Stories of Anti-Abortion Terrorism by David S. Cohen and Krysten Connon (Non-Fiction)
http://msmagazine.com/blog/2015/12/23/your-holiday-reading-list-top-10-feminist-books-of-2015/

AND another “best of” list from Ms. Magazine: “15 Women Writers Every Badass Woman Should Read” by E. CE Miller on 12/14/15
Ths list includes fiction, nonfiction, poetry and cross-genre feminist authors, some of whom appear on other lists, here, but several who do not. Enjoy!
http://www.bustle.com/articles/128770-15-women-writers-every-badass-woman-should-read

—-“55 Best Indie [Self-Published] Books of 2015,” 12/2/15, from Indie Reader‘s year of reviews. Their lists are divided into subgenres of fiction, including: Fantasy, Historical, Horror, Inspirational, Kids, Literary, Mystery/Thriller, Science-Fiction, Thriller, Young Adult (YA). They also have nonfiction (which includes poetry) in a separate list.
http://indiereader.com/2015/12/56-best-reviewed-self-pubbed-books-2015/

What’s fun about this self-pubbed list is that I am “friends” with one of the authors on social media sites! Mazel Tov to D. Hart St. Martin (Blooded, in YA).

AND, I now have an entirely new list of authors to invite to my online video talk show for 2016, CHANGES conversations between authors (see https://sallyember.com/changes-videocasts-by-sally-ember-ed-d/ for past and upcoming shows and details about how to watch an Episode or how to be on one.

CHANGES Trailer Image_3

I resume my almost-weekly Wednesdays at 10 AM Eastern USA time one-hour live format on January 20 with returning guest, author John Howell.

Three other fiction lists:

—-“My Favorite African Science-Fiction and Fantasy (AfroSFF) Short Fiction of 2015″ by Wole Talabi, 11/28/15 https://wtalabi.wordpress.com/2015/11/28/my-favorite-african-science-fiction-and-fantasy-sff-short-fiction-of-2015/

AND

—-“Best Books 2015: Genre Fiction” on the Library Journal Reviews page, has several genres (African-American, Christian, Historical, Mystery, Romance, Thrillers, Women’s Fiction and Science-Fiction/Fantasy).
http://reviews.libraryjournal.com/2015/11/best-of/best-books-2015-genre-fiction/

The African-American Fiction list by Rollie Welch includes:
Mama’s Boy by ReShonda Tate Billingsley
Caught Up by Shannon Holmes
Playing for Keeps by Deborah Fletcher Mello
Stand Your Ground by Victoria Christopher Murray
Stone Cold Liar: The Misadventures of Mink LaRue by Noire

The Science-Fiction/Fantasy Fiction list by Megan M. McArdle & Jessica E. Moyer includes Water Knife (see Paste‘s list), and:
Karen Memory by Elizabeth Bear
Wake of Vultures by Lila Bowen
Sorcerer to the Crown by Zen Cho
The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin
The Autumn Republic by Brian McClellan
Uprooted by Naomi Novi
Trailer Park Fae by Lilith Saintcrow
A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab
The Fifth House of the Heart by Ben Tripp

AND

—-Entropy mag‘s “Best of 2015 Fiction Books” from 12/8/15 includes only one or two that overlap Paste’s list and is a much more multicultural/global (includes several translated-into-English novels) and fascinating group of 50 titles, plus one “Honorable Mention.”
http://entropymag.org/best-of-2015-best-fiction-books/

AND

—-Let’s get political, please! Here are lists created by The Guardian and The Observer‘s reviewers, which they endearingly call “2015’s master list” of books, from 12/11/15, subdivided into: Fiction [Thrillers, Science-Fiction/Fantasy, Children’s, Graphic Novels (no one else remembered these, apparently!)]; non-Fiction [Sports, Food, Drink, two lists for Biographies, History, Nature, Politics, Music, Poetry, Architecture, Art, Photography, Science, Celebrity Memoirs]; and a few groups by odd categories [Paperbacks, Stocking-fillers (size-related? cost-related?), Novels].
http://www.theguardian.com/books/ng-interactive/2015/dec/11/all-of-the-best-books-of-2015

You can also go cruise on Google for other “best of 2015” fiction lists, such as those from or by Small Presses, Independent Publishers, more Indie/ Self-Pubbed authors, Debuts, Flash Fiction, and on and on. Have fun! https://goo.gl/itQw0i

AND

—-Brain Pickings has several “best of 2015” lists. Here are links to two of them (Children’s, list of lists and All Books):
https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/12/15/best-childrens-books-2015/
http://us2.campaign-archive2.com/?u=13eb080d8a315477042e0d5b1&id=60eab78aa3&mc_cid=773f043fba&mc_eid=3da2b98925
https://www.brainpickings.org/2015/12/21/best-books-2015/?mc_cid=773f043fba&mc_eid=3da2b98925

Also from PASTE:

30 Best Young Adult (YA) Fiction of 2015
[only 4 male out of 30 writers here…hmmmm…]
http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2015/12/the-best-ya-books-of-2015-1.html
By Eric Smith | December 10, 2015
1. More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera
2. Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon
3. Blood & Salt by Kim Liggett
4. Written in the Stars by Aisha Saeed
5. Joyride by Anna Banks
6. The Conspiracy of Us by Maggie Hall
7. None of the Above by I.W. Gregorio
8. An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir
9. An Infinite Number of Parallel Universes by Randy Ribay
10. Mosquitoland by David Arnold
11. Winter by Marissa Meyer
12. Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli
13. Tiny Pretty Things by Sona Charaipotra and Dhonielle Clayton
14. My Heart & Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga
15. The Walls Around Us by Nova Ren Suma
16. A Madness So Discreet by Mindy McGinnis
17. Walk on Earth a Stranger by Rae Carson
18. Hit by Delilah S. Dawson
19. The Night We Said Yes by Lauren Gibaldi
20. Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard
21. Shutter by Courtney Alameda
22. Those Girls by Lauren Saft
23. The Girl at Midnight by Melissa Grey
24. Tracked by Jenny Martin
25. Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
26. Golden Son by Pierce Brown
27. Magonia by Maria Dahvana Headley
28. Under the Lights by Dahlia Adler
29. For the Record by Charlotte Huang
30. Half Wild by Sally Green

—-How about a YA list of the best of 2015 from the United Kingdom? 12/15/15 from Martin Chilton, Culture Editor of The Telegraph, Rebecca Hawkes and other reviewers/ contributors, offers 45 titles in this genre, with a few overlapping from the above list.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/young-adult-books/best-of-2015/

AND

—-Bustle‘s YA best fiction list from 12/10/15, Caitlin White
http://www.bustle.com/articles/116096-the-25-best-ya-books-of-2015

AND

—-Pop Crush‘s 10 best YA from 2015 posted on 12/7/15 by Emily Maas, here:
http://popcrush.com/10-best-young-adult-books-2015/

AND

My favorite, from an fantastic site that promotes excellence in girls and young women with daily info posts (subscribe!), MIGHTY GIRL, offers: “Top Read-Aloud Books Starring Mighty Girls,” which gives you and your favorite child a lot of choices for spending time together. Become and share being inspired by the amazing achievements, courage, insight, smarts and talent of these MIGHTY girls and women! This site also reviews TV/films (by category), toys (by category, type and ages), music ((by category) and clothing. MIGHTY GIRL also provides an incredible list that they call their “Character Collection,” which you have to peruse, their “Best of…” lists of almost everything, and offers resources to educators and parents.

If you’re (your girls are) really into reading, join the MIGHTY GIRL Book Club!

There are 172 books on this list. Some are for younger, some are for older, many are for all ages. These books are selected from several decades and countries, but all are available in English (although many have been translated into several other languages and you can find those versions easily).

The left menu bar lets you sort the list by target age (88 are for younger and 73 are for teens), award-winners (National Book—12, literature [Newbery—39], civil rights [Coretta Scott King—2], Parents’ Choice—15, and others), and price (free to under $20, and over $20 [only 2], but don’t forget: most are in local libraries as well).

Many of the older books have been turned into films, TV specials and series, so you can share the stories together aloud, then go watch some on screen together.
http://www.amightygirl.com/mighty-girl-picks/top-read-alouds

30 Best Non-Fiction of 2015 from PASTE
[18 male authors for 17 of the books; a bit more balanced, gender-wise, here]
http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2015/12/the-30-best-nonfiction-books-of-2015.html
By Frannie Jackson & Tyler R. Kane | December 23, 2015
1. Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates—memoir/current events
2. Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl by Carrie Brownstein—music history/memoir
3. M Train by Patti Smith–memoir
4. Red Notice by Bill Browder—biography/social commentary/current events
5. Missoula by Jon Krakauer—social commentary/current events
6. The First Collection of Criticism by a Living Female Rock Critic by Jessica Hopper—music criticism collection
7. Lafayette in the Somewhat United States by Sarah Vowell—history
8. Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari—social commentary
9. The Light of the World by Elizabeth Alexander—memoir
10. Dead Wake by Erik Larson—history
11. One of Us: The Story of Anders Breivik and the Massacre in Norway by Åsne Seierstad—biography/social commentary/current events
12. The Seven Good Years by Etgar Keret—radio journalist’s collection
13. The Oregon Trail by Rinker Buck—memoir/history
14. Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson—memoir
15. Country Soul by Charles L. Hughes—history
16. Dime Stories by Tony Fitzpatrick—print journalist’s collection
17. We Gotta Get Out of This Place: The Soundtrack of the Vietnam War by Doug Bradley and Craig Werner—history
18. On the Move by Oliver Sacks—memoir
19. Unfaithful Music & Disappearing Ink by Elvis Costello—autobiography
20. The Wright Brothers by David McCullough—biographies
21. The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery—about octupi
22. Once in a Great City by David Maraniss—history
23. The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson—poetry, philosophy, criticism, memoir
24. Silver Screen Fiend by Patton Oswalt—memoir
25. Madness in Civilization by Andrew Scull—history
26. Ongoingness by Sarah Manguso—essays/opinions
27. Girl in a Band by Kim Gordon—autobiography, of Sonic Youth founder/member
28. The Folded Clock by Heidi Julavits—memoir
29. H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald—about hawks
30. Gumption by Nick Offerman—profiles of 21 individuals

—-In case you want another set of opinions about Non-Fiction (but they duplicate many of Paste‘s), here you go:
EarlyWord‘s Best Non-Fiction of 2015 from 12/8/15
http://www.earlyword.com/2015/12/08/best-books-nonfiction-2015/

—-Also, several more lists from EarlyWord: http://www.earlyword.com/category/best-books-2015/

—-For those of you who haven’t caught up with your reading and don’t much care about being trendy or up-to-date but keep looking for good books to read, try this list from 5/22/15, by Nina Bashaur, posted on HuffPost Women:
“21 Books From The Last 5 Years That Every Woman Should Read” (but I would say every PERSON…).
[Oh, oh: I’ve only picked up 5 of these and actually read only 3. Sigh.]
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/19/recent-books-women-should-read_n_7314166.html

buy-books-and-feel-good

Bisexual, Female, Western and Buddhist: There are a lot more of us than you might think!

08/11/2015 by Sally Ember, EdD

Bisexual, Female, Western and Buddhist: There are a lot more of us than you might think!, by Sally Ember, Ed.D.: written in response to Black, Bisexual, and Buddhist: Zenju Earthlyn Manuel is not afraid to embrace who she is. by Kimberly Winston, August 05, 2015
http://www.tricycle.com/blog/black-bisexual-and-buddhist

Zenju Earthlyn Manuel relates that she “often sees surprise in the faces of the students as she is introduced.” She believes this is due to the fact that “she doesn’t look like many of them expect. She isn’t Asian. She isn’t a man. And she isn’t white.”

Zenju Earthlyn Manuel, photo from TRICYCLE article in online Buddhist magazine, http://www.tricycle.com/blog/black-bisexual-and-buddhist

She recently published: The Way of Tenderness: Awakening Through Race, Sexuality, and Gender, known here as “her second book of dharma, or Buddhist teachings, published in February by Wisdom Publications. In it, Manuel, who follows the Zen tradition, calls on Buddhists not to ignore those ways they may be different, whether it’s because of their color, gender, or sexual orientation.”

She and others call this idea a “‘multiplicity of oneness’—–[which] is somewhat controversial within Buddhism, where the teachings have tended to focus on moving beyond the physical to find the spiritual. But Manuel and a handful of other Western Buddhists—–including a number of African-American teachers–—are embracing the idea as crucial to enlightenment, a state free from anxiety that is the ultimate goal of Buddhism.”

Manuel and I have a lot in common, so I felt moved to respond to this article about her and her teaching, her writing and her spiritual life. I resonate with some aspects; others are quite different for me.

Manuel is 62; I am about to be 61. That means we are contemporaries who are natives of the same country.

She reports that she “has had a multiplicity of lives, all of which inform her work.” My C.V.—my academic and total resume—is over seven pages long. I have also moved over thirty times, having lived in states on both coasts, the midwest and the southwest of the USA. These varied aspects of my professional and personal lives must constitute a “multiplicity,” don’t you think?

Her personal history includes “violence, poverty and prejudice,” which my life contains, also. Heavier on the violence and prejudice than the poverty, for me, but all were there.

Manuel states that she has “been an activist since the tumultuous 1970s”; I started being a vocal, active feminist activist while still in grade school, moved into anti-war and anti-nuclear power activism, continued with feminism and got into reproductive rights activism and other issues as well. I started earlier by about 10 years, but then we both kept on keeping on.

Manuel says that she “has also known fear and rejection because she is bisexual,” but I mostly do not have that experience, perhaps because I didn’t “come out” publicly as bisexual until the 1990s, when it seemed almost no one cared anymore and I was a confident adult with a supportive community and family. I did lose a female friend in college in the early 1970s when I clumsily invited her to be my lover, but usually I did not experience either rejection or fear due to my sexual orientation. Not everyone I approached agreed to be my lover, but their rejections had nothing to do with my being attracted to both genders. So, our lives diverged there significantly.

She “was raised a Christian but discovered Buddhism in 1988,” whereas I was raised Jewish and discovered Buddhist in the early 1980s. However, I had already been meditating in the Transcendental Meditation (T.M.) tradition since 1972. Similar, but not the same, here.

Mostly, though, we share significant components of our cultural, personal and historical location and background. The major difference is that she is Black and I am White/Anglo. Our other intersecting social identities create affinities that few other commonalities could, especially since our experiences led us both to become immersed seriously and deeply in Buddhist practice.

Appallingly, however, she had the misfortune to have had a couple of Zen teachers who “suggested if she ‘dropped the labels’ of ‘African-American,’ of ‘bisexual,’ of ‘woman,’ she would ‘be liberated.’ That is ridiculous and has nothing to do with authentic Buddhism. I’m sorry she had those teachers or allowed them to affect her. Obviously, by trying to accomplish this (the impossible), she was not “liberated.” Furthermore, these attempts did not ease her suffering; in fact, she reported that she became more unhappy.

Eventually, she discovered on her own what Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism (my tradition) has always taught: embrace everything, cling to nothing. While bushwhacking her own path through Zen traditions that were not friendly to her, she arrived at, in her words: “’complete tenderness’—–the experience of walking through her pain, knowing it, living with it, but not being controlled by it—–by confronting her suffering caused by her upbringing and identity as an African-American bisexual woman.”

I challenge this idea, though, that her suffering was “caused” by her identities at that point. I would conclude instead that her suffering was exacerbated early in her Zen journey by the ignorance and arrogance of those Zen teachers who misdirected her, then aggravated by her willingness to follow their misdirections for too long. It isn’t who she was that was the problem; it’s he ways a few teachers positioned who she was with respect to her spiritual path that caused her pain.

Despite being misled by some teachers, Manuel continued within Zen all the way to becoming ordained as a Zen Priest, when she was “given the name ‘Zenju,’ which means ‘complete tenderness.’” She now leads a small, all-female sangha that meets where she lives, in Oakland, California (near San Francisco), many of whom are also identifying as women of color.

I’m glad she found a way through all that, but it was so unnecessary. There are many USA-based Zen sanghas, some right near her that I am personally aware of, in which she would not have had those experiences. We could say it was her karma to have had those encounters, and we’d be correct, since everything we experience is always due to our karma.

But, it is not inherent to the nature of Zen or Buddhism to treat students in those ways. I need to emphasize this truth, since it appears from this Tricycle article and perhaps her book (I haven’t read it, so I’m not sure) that it is inevitable that students of backgrounds similar to hers will encounter prejudice and extreme difficulties due to their social identities everywhere they go in Buddhist communities. Simply not true.

I have observed, though, that too many Buddhist communities in the USA and Canada are populated by a disproportionate number of middle- and upper-class Whites/Anglos in comparison to the number of participants from other ethnicities and class backgrounds. I’m glad to say that these imbalances have been recognized by most leaders and other members: many sanghas are doing extensive outreach to rectify them.

I don’t know if Manuel’s Oakland Zen sitting group is deliberately all women or intentionally mostly women of color; perhaps it is open to everyone, but her being who she is, as the teacher, attracted more practitioners similar to her. That does happen, that spiritual teachers attract students who see themselves as similar to their teachers.

The only similarity that actually matters, though, is that we are all human and we all need to train our minds, develop more compassionate hearts, and liberate ourselves from delusions that cause suffering. Therefore, I believe deliberately segregating ourselves by gender, class, background or any other social identity is a mistake when it comes to creating and maintaining spiritual community. I know there are specific occasions when such segregation can be useful or necessary, but mostly, let’s not.

Clearly, the Buddhist path works well for Manuel and she believes it can work well for other women of color, bisexual or not. In that, we agree.

The Buddha supposedly taught over 84,000 types of meditation so that each individual who wants to practice will be able to find a path that works. In a large enough community with sufficient numbers of paths and teachers, I’m sure that is possible: everyone who wants to learn to meditate in the Buddhist tradition could do so.

Northern California, USA, is such a locale, with dozens or even hundreds of Buddhist teachers and sangha options scattered throughout the rural, suburban and urban areas, each slightly or very different from the other. I used to live there and I miss it a lot.

St. Louis, Missouri, USA, is not such a locale. It is not bereft entirely of Buddhists or Buddhist communities, but there is none in my exact tradition. I find that I am not so interested in attending the groups that are dissimilar. I enjoy meditating on my own just fine. I do miss my sangha and those important, guiding interactions, but not enough to join some other group, yet.

Meanwhile, this female, bisexual Buddhist who was raised Jewish and is White/Anglo is meditating and attempting to liberate in this lifetime alongside or including, but not despite, my social identities. I am lucky to have occasional conversations with my spiritual teacher, Lama Padma Drimed Norbu, by telephone, and regular contact with geographically distant sangha members via SKYPE, social media and email.

May all beings benefit. I wish you all the best in your practices.

2015 GLORIA AWARDS (in honor of Gloria Steinem) from the Ms. Foundation for Women

04/24/2015 by Sally Ember, EdD

Can’t say enough good things to and about these #feminist leaders, innovators, advocates and authors. read about and support this year’s group of honorees!

There is a great GALA on May 11 at 6 PM in New York City, USA, and an “after party” from 9 – 11 PM at the same location. Both cost money.

See below for more info, but mostly, I’m posting about the Honorees, who ROCK!

2015 GLORIA AWARDS
Ceremony is on May 11, 2015, in New York City, Pierre Hotel, 6 PM, 2 E 61st St, 10065
Contact: events@ms.foundation.org or 212.709.4436
Purchase tickets, get more info here:
http://www.forwomen.org/gala

the Ms. Foundation for Women

to celebrate and honor
ACT FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS
Ms. Foundation Grantees
2015 Woman of Vision Award Winners

****CENTRO DE LOS DERECHOS DEL MIGRANTE
Ms. Foundation Grantee
Woman of Vision Award

http://www.cdmigrante.org/

“CDM supports Mexico-based migrant workers to defend and protect their rights as they move between their home communities in Mexico and their workplaces in the United States. Founded in 2005, Centro de los Derechos del Migrante, Inc. (CDM) is the first transnational migrant workers’ rights organization based in Mexico.”

****SUZANNE LERNER
Co-Founder and President, Michael Stars, Inc.
Woman of Vision Award

http://www.michaelstars.com/

“Suzanne Lerner is an entrepreneur, political activist and philanthropist. She is currently the president of Michael Stars and owner of Lerner Et Cie. Suzanne Lerner boasts decades of experience in business, as well as a background in dozens of causes, primarily centered around female empowerment. In 1983, Lerner founded Lerner et Cie, a wholesale fashion showroom, currently with four locations nationwide. Lerner co-founded and currently serves as President of retail clothing company, Michael Stars. Lerner primarily oversaw sales and marketing until 2015, when she was appointed President. Lerner’s second career is philanthropy – both personal and with the Michael Stars Foundation. Lerner serves on the board of Women Thrive Worldwide, ACLU Foundation of Southern California, Prosperity Catalyst and Children Mending Hearts. She is also a member of Women Donors Network and Women Moving Millions. Lerner funds a number of NGO’s that focus on women’s empowerment, economic stability, gender reconciliation and gender-based violence. She resides in Los Angeles.”

****GOLDIEBLOX: Construction Toys for Girls
Corporate Innovation Award

http://www.goldieblox.com/

“Debbie Sterling is the founder and CEO of GoldieBlox. She never knew what engineering was until her high school math teacher suggested she pursue it as a college major. Debbie couldn’t figure out why her math teacher thought she should be a train conductor! Nevertheless, she gave engineering a try during her freshman year at Stanford. Four years later, she graduated with a degree in Mechanical Engineering / Product Design. Bothered by how few women there were in her program, Debbie became obsessed with the notion of “disrupting the pink aisle” with a toy that would introduce girls to the joy of engineering at a young age.”

****JANET MOCK, Author and Advocate
Marie C. Wilson Emerging Leader Award

http://janetmock.com/

“JANET MOCK is the New York Times bestselling author of Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More. She considers herself a Beyoncé scholar but is widely known as a sought-after speaker and prominent advocate for trans women’s rights. A native of Honolulu, Janet attended the University of Hawaii at Manoa, earned her MA in journalism from New York University, and worked as a Staff Editor for People.com (People magazine’s website) for five years. In 2012, Janet launched #GirlsLikeUs, a social movement that empowers trans women and celebrates the diversity of womanhood. In 2013, Janet joined the board of directors at the Arcus Foundation, a leading global organization advancing social justice and conservation issues. She lives and writes in New York City with her boyfriend, photographer and filmmaker, Aaron Tredwell and their cockapoo, Cleo. Currently, she hosts the weekly culture show “So POPular!” on MSNBC’s Shift network and serves as Contributing Editor for Marie Claire.”

And, a special award:
The Free to Be Foundation gives its first-ever
Peggy Charren/Free to Be You and Me Award to
JOAN GANZ COONEY, Co-Founder, Children’s Television Workshop

“Joan Ganz Cooney, co-founder in 1968 of Children’s Television Workshop (renamed Sesame Workshop in June 2000) and originator of the preschool educational series, Sesame Street, served as President and Chief Executive Officer until 1990. She is currently Chair of the Executive Committee of Sesame Workshop‘s Board of Trustees and in November 2007 introduced the Joan Ganz Cooney Center at Sesame Workshop, dedicated to investigating the potential of digital media to help children learn and collaborating with educators, media producers, policymakers and investors to put this research into action.

“Sesame Street, which began as an experiment, is the first preschool program to integrate education and entertainment as well as feature a multi-cultural cast. It has been broadcast daily since 1969 in the U.S. on the more than 300 stations of the Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) and is seen by millions of children in more than 150 countries. Indigenous co-productions of Sesame Street reflecting local languages, customs and educational needs are produced for audiences all over the world.

“Following the successful launch of Sesame Street, Ms. Cooney and her colleagues created other award-winning children’s series on network and public TV including The Electric Company, 3-2-1 Contact, Square One TV, Ghostwriter, CRO, Big Bag, Dragon Tales, Sagwa the Chinese Cat and Pinky Dinky Doo, each offering educational opportunities around science, mathematics, reading and bringing new experiences to life.

“Sesame Workshop programs have been awarded over 150 Emmys and have received scores of other honors presented here and around the world. The Workshop’s activities also include publishing, digital media, product licensing and community engagement efforts such as the award winning program — Talk, Listen, Connect — launched in 2006 to help military families with young children between the ages of two and five build a sense of stability and resiliency during times of separation and change.

“Ms. Cooney is presently a Director at the Peter G. Peterson Foundation and a Lifetime Trustee of the Paley Center for Media, The New York Presbyterian Hospital, WNET Channel 13/Educational Broadcasting Corporation and of the National Child Labor Committee and a member of the Council on Foreign Relations.”

In 1968, children’s television programming was revolutionized with the creation [by of the Children’s Television Workshop – the force behind Sesame Street, The Electric Company and many other award-winning educational programs.”
Peggy Charren was the founder of Action for Children’s Television, which lobbied broadcasters, advertisers and legislators to create quality educational programming and TV commercials that promote healthy eating and positive child development.

Also being honored:
ACT for Women and Girls as Women of Vision
http://www.actforwomenandgirls.org/

“Based in Visalia, California, ACT for Women and Girls works to transform women of all ages into leaders for reproductive rights and health care. Through the Female Leadership Academy, ACT engages women from the community to take active roles in eradicating the oppression that lies deep in the roots of California’s Central Valley region – addressing poverty, teen pregnancy, unemployment and environmental issues.

“The Ms. Foundation for Women is proud to be a longtime supporter of ACT for Women and Girls, and honors them as Women of Vision for their innovative efforts to promote and protect reproductive rights.”

“ACT is located in Visalia, California, the epicenter and largest metropolitan area of Tulare County. Led by Erin Garner-Ford, ACT‘s mission is to engage women of all ages in leadership opportunities to promote social and personal change. ACTwas founded in 2005 with the creation of the Female Leadership Academy (FLA) program. From the inception of FLA, it was evident that reproductive justice issues demanded to be addressed, as participants were often misinformed about reproductive health, justice, and access.

“Unlike Southern California and the Bay Area, Tulare County has few resources and is the most adversely impacted region in California regarding social issues, such as poverty, unemployment, teen pregnancy, and environmental degradation. ACTtakes an active role in eradicating the oppression that lies deep in the roots of the Central Valley. Through one young woman at a time, ACT makes an impact.

“ACT engages young people ages 14-24 through three program areas: The signature eight month leadership program, FLA, which develops young women leaders to actively engage in the reproductive health and justice movement; ACTion Teams for young women and men to educate their peers on sexual health information in the community through events, street outreach and education; and Teen Success, a support group for pregnant and parenting teen moms. ACT’s program participants come from every rural community in Tulare County.

“Through ACT’s programs, young women are prepared and energized to actively participate in shaping the future of their communities (both locally and globally). ACT focuses on reproductive justice leadership, developing young women leaders to engage in civic participation projects and partners with state and national groups for policy advocacy work. The overarching vision of ACT’s reproductive justice work is to INCREASE ACCESS to reproductive health education, contraception, abortion, and protection against sexually transmitted infections. ACT strives to promote services that are comprehensive and culturally competent, influence legislation, and provide a voice from the Central Valley on important bills that impact women and their health.

“Each of ACT’s program participants contribute to ACT’s grassroots campaigns to increase awareness of reproductive health and justice. One of the cornerstones to developing young women’s leadership is through direct action and organizing opportunities. Participants help shape and implement three signature reproductive justice campaigns annually: Pharmacy Access; Comprehensive Sexual Health and Education Initiative; and ‘Don’t Let a Hot Date Turn Into a Due Date.'”

Link to purchase tickets for the “after-party”: http://forwomen.org/afterparty
($75 in advance; $100 at the door).

Why I write about #politics, #elections, #issues and support Emily’s List #feminist #candidates

02/26/2015 by Sally Ember, EdD

I WILL write about #politics, #elections, #issues and support Emily’s List #feminist #candidates…and so should you!

image from: http://www.list.co.uk

Maybe you think “social media” should just be for posting pictures that are funny or cute. Maybe you don’t want to offend or alienate anyone. Maybe you’re a coward. Maybe you’re undecided. Maybe you’re ignorant and don’t know enough about anything political to write about it. Whatever your reasons or rationales, cut it out.

If you are a USA citizen or a citizen of any country that allows you to vote and you do not exercise that duty and right for EVERY election, informing yourself (which is easier to do than ever before with information EVERYWHERE) and taking a stand on candidates and issues as adults who care are motivated to do, than I want you reading this post to inspire and educate yourself.

If you’re already politically active and savvy, great: SHARE!

First of all, there is a sea of candidates out there for almost every elected post and many campaigns of mis- and dis-information attempting to muddy the waters further. What’s an interested, concerned citizen to do? Utilize the groups that vet candidates and issues FOR us, that’s what. Find a group/entity who screens, analyzes, evaluates and presents, according to YOUR values and interests, those you’d want to vote for, complete with reasons, and information about whom and what to vote against as well.

image from: http://hockeyschtick.blogspot.com

Better yet, if you’re so inclined, RUN for office. Offer yourself to serve on a Board or Commission. Join/donate to/volunteer for a local or state chapter of the League of Women Voters, the National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL), the National Organization for Women (NOW), or whatever else strikes your fancy. Start small and keep going, because city council members, school board members, mayors, sheriffs, judges and many others in local offices later become state or federal senators, congressional representatives for the state or federal government, state governors, Supreme Court judges, presidents!

As a life-long feminist committed to environmental, social, educational and other more radical values/components that mesh with my Buddhist, nonviolent foundations, I choose appropriate news sources (mostly nonprofits to boot) to help me learn and decide.

Here are a few I use and recommend:

Emily’s List http://www.emilyslist.org/, whose mission is: “We elect pro-choice Democratic women to office.”
Mother Jones magazine http://www.motherjones.com/, which has been analyzing and reporting from the center of core issues, reporting what many do NOT report and reporting truthfully, paid off by NO ONE, for decades
B*TCH Media, whose tagline is “Outsmart the Patriarchy,” which I love even though I do not like their name, and whose mission is to respond to “pop culture,” but does so much more than that http://bitchmagazine.org/
The Daily KOS, which has a weekly open thread on ELECTIONS, and with whom I often disagree but respect http://www.dailykos.com/
Amy Goodman, Juan Gonzales and the team at Democracy NOW!, independent, ad-free, on TV and public radio http://www.democracynow.org
Dissident Voice, which is “a radical [online] newspaper in the struggle for peace and justice,” that sees itself as providing “hard-hitting, thought-provoking and even entertaining news and commentaries on politics and culture that can serve as ammunition in struggles for peace and social justice.” http://dissidentvoice.org/
Upworthy.com, which is a curation site, gathering from many sources, including YOU, if you submit, to re-present “things that matter.” http://www.upworthy.com/
The Feminist Wire, with an inspiring and laudable mission: “to provide socio-political and cultural critique of anti-feminist, racist, and imperialist politics pervasive in all forms and spaces of private and public lives of individuals globally. Of particular critical interest to us are social and political phenomena that block, negate, or limit the satisfaction of goods or ends that humans, especially the most vulnerable, minimally require for living free of structural violence. The Feminist Wire seeks to valorize and sustain pro-feminist representations and create alternative frameworks to build a just and equitable society.” http://thefeministwire.com/

image made from John F. Kennedy quote

What else can we/should we do, if you believe, as I do, that change is necessary and that many important changes do occur via our elections and efforts in those directions? Here are some ideas. Comment and add your own, please! http://www.sallyember.com/blog

Some of you are lucky enough to have an alternative newspaper right in your area, still publishing in print and/or online (The Valley Advocate (New England, USA sites), The Bohemian (CA, USA, San Francisco Bay Area and Central Coast sites), The Boston Phoenix, Women’s Voices Magazine (many locations around the world) are some of my favorites).
Read them. Subscribe. Submit comments online. Submit “Letters to the Editor.” Tell others. Buy ad space. Distribute or allow your business to become a site for distribution.
Donate to and support National and local Public Radio, Pacifica Radio, other alternative online or actual broadcasting entities. They are fewer and further between than ever and are always operating on shoestring budgets with many volunteers. YOU could volunteer!
Maybe you want to get your news from a culturally, ethnically or group-specific source, like Al Jazeera, The Advocate (LGBTQIQ), Univision, The St. Louis Jewish Light, Black Press USA, or whichever you prefer.
Support them. Donate. Buy ad space. Volunteer. Comment online. Support their advertisers.

image from: http://mariamuir.com

Use my sources and ideas or get your own, but get informed and work for the candidates you support, for the issues that matter to you.

It is UNACCEPTABLE to be passive and silent, more worried more about being controversial than effecting necessary changes. Be bold! Just because you are an artistic sort doesn’t mean you get to hide!

image made from quote by Larry Neal

Get involved. March. Demonstrate. Speak. Donate. Host. Participate. Invite. Write. Solicit.

VOTE!!!!!

Internalized #Oppression: We All Have It Going On

02/13/2015 by Sally Ember, EdD

What is “Internalized Oppression” and why do I claim we all have it going on?

If you have spent a lot of time in political activism, psychological growth, advocating for social justice/progressive causes and feminism, anti-racism, anti-Semitism and other anti-oppression movements of the ’50s, ’60s, ’70s and continuing, as I have, you would know what I’m talking about and have lived long enough to have unlearned some of the IO we all have. Or, you could have come to learn about IO some other way. If not, or if you’re interested in my perspective and some personal stories, keep reading.

I was first trained in 1977 in Massachusetts via the Movement for a New Society’s (MNS) Nonviolence Activism [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Movement_for_a_New_Society

The members of MNS consciously sought to develop tools and strategies that could be employed to bring about revolutionary change through nonviolent means. The three-part focus of MNS included training for activists, nonviolent direct action and community. The main location for MNS activity was in West Philadelphia. Other locations included Boston, Minneapolis, Seattle, Tucson, Western Massachusetts, and more….MNS was unusual in combining feminist group process, broad analysis of interrelated people’s struggles including class and culture, and personal empowerment techniques ranging from music and street theater as political organizing tools to Re-Evaluation Counseling.

I was also trained via Re-Evaluation Counseling (RC) in Massachusetts and New Hampshire starting in 1978 and continuing through 1986. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Re-evaluation_Counseling]

RC has ambitious social and environmental objectives, including, “The transformation of society to a rational, peaceful, non-exploitative, classless form world-wide. The preservation of all existing species of life and the re-creation of extinguished species. The preservation of wilderness areas and the creation of a completely benign environment over most of the earth, the oceans, and the atmosphere. The exploration of, and eventually becoming at home in, space.”

In the late 1970s and early 1980s, I was part of the “Clamshell Alliance,” a successful anti-nuclear energy group utilizing MNS and RC techniques and principles. We “Clams” prevented the second “tower” of the Seabrook, New Hampshire, power plant from being built. This and many other “affinity groups” like it across the continent worked throughout the 1970s, ’80s and ’90s to dismantle the stranglehold the nuclear energy capitalists were gaining on energy production in the USA and Canada. We have them/us to thank for how few nuclear disasters there have been in the USA due to there having been fewer power plants built than proposed.

MNS and RC were the grandparents of most modern USA and global social justice movements movements; believe me). Their teaching techniques, training exercises, formats for consensus decision-making, use of nonviolence, understandings of social justice issues and oppression and methods for transforming individuals as well as groups have been incorporated into almost every type of social and political change movement around the globe, including Arab Spring and Occupy.

They taught me about Internalized #Oppression (IO): We All Have It Going On.

Intersectionality thrives via IO, because the overlapping strength of each oppression with insidious inroads into us and each other creates the systemic continuance of them all.

image from http://decolonizeallthethings.wordpress.com

For example, Height-ism. I am short and getting shorter. For a Jewish/Eastern European-roots female born in the middle of the last century, it’s not uncommon. I stopped growing at age 12, at 5′ 1.5″, at which point I was considered somewhat tall. I didn’t even realize I wasn’t going to keep growing, since everyone around me seemed to be, nor that I was short, until we were being arranged in poses for photos for the high school yearbook in the beginning of my senior year (I know; how could I not know? Well, I just wasn’t thinking about my height). People kept telling me to “get into the middle” or would call out: “Short people in front,” pushing me forward. I looked around in shock: “Oh! I really am short!”

I then spent the last four decades comparing my size to many other people’s and always being shocked at who else was actually my size or smaller, because they all appeared to be SO SHORT but I didn’t see myself as that short. In my inner voice, I was contemptuous, ridiculing, and otherwise snobbish about their smallness, as if I were magically exempt from such derision. Luckily (?), I kept these thoughts to myself.

Randy Newman (amazing singer-songwriter and social commentator) did not keep HIS thoughts to himself. We should all be grateful to him…. We need to laugh, sometimes, at how ridiculous prejudice and bias are, without forgetting how damaging and dangerous these ideas can become when enacted or spoken.

That is classic Internalized Oppression (IO): Version 1) believing ourselves to be outside of/better than/not really representative of the groups we actually belong to, we deride our identity group by condemning other members of it; Version 2) we condemn ourselves for traits considered to be endemic of that group.

With both versions, we perpetuate the cultural and institutionalized oppressions that already run rampant, adding strength to stereotypes and assisting the oppression machine to keep churning out misery. We collude with and give power to the oppressors by “owning” their perspectives. IO is so difficult to uncover or recognize that we actually believe these viewpoints are our own opinions, developed on our own, independently of anyone or any influence: that’s how deluded we are.

So it goes.

How does IO play out? Via sexism, racism, ethnocentrism, ableism, ageism, homophobia/heterosexism, transphobia, classism, etc., oppressions reign supreme. When those within these oppressed groups further and enable the oppressors’ aims in putting us down by loathing ourselves and each other for being members of said groups, that is IO at work.

Example: SEXISM: When women/girls, as individuals of an oppressed MAJORITY, FEMALES, adopt society’s negativity towards females, what happens? We then display “our” views of females by scornfully talking about other females at almost every age (and not just because of differing political positions, intellectual differences or disagreements). Worst of all, IO leads women to be the main enforcers/ perpetrators of some of the worst harm inflicted on female children and other women (genital mutilation, forced child marriage, sex trafficking, bride-burning, foot-binding).

Women/girls who live with unmitigated IO will be motivated to compete unfairly, gossip, spread rumors, backbite, jockey for position, believe in scarcity (zero-sum games) and operate in other ways that undermine each other rather than collaborate and support one another. We “sell out” our own gender in a usually unsuccessful attempt to gain favor from men or stand out as superior to other women.

IO rots “sisterhood,” pitting heteronormative (“cisgender”) women against gender-queers and lesbians, motivating lesbians to exclude female bisexuals. IO inspires white women to believe whatever the oppressors tell us if it seems we may “some day” reach feminism’s goals, such as when white men told suffragettes that abolition was “more important” than women’s having the right to vote, that women should “wait our turn”: most white women accepted this.

When women find it acceptable (not speaking up AGAINST this means you find it acceptable) for females to be labeled “bitches,” “whores,” “sluts,” “tramps” and whatever other derogatory monikers current trends are utilizing to put strong, powerful, sexually active, empowered women down, then that is also IO operating within and among us.

image from http://www.hercampus.com

IO is in place when a coach tells a mixed-gender or all-male group of athletes to “stop playing like girls,” and the girls on the team or at the location spew hate on the weaker members, continuing the damage caused by this coach.

When mothers, female teachers, any females who interact with young people, dichotomize the children based on supposed gender-based traits so that the girls are positioned by other females as less important, less competent, less valuable, and are forced to be less active or presumed to be less able than the boys, that is IO in action.

Example: RACISM: Racist IO occurs when those from oppressed ethnic/racial groups have “oppression derbies” to evaluate (usually not in public, but with social media, increasingly in public) the relative status of each individual of that group by applying arbitrary, oppressor-based criteria. Furthermore, we devise ways to determine who has the least number or degree of whatever traits of that group are currently despised (curly hair, darker skin, slanty eyes, large noses, thick or thin lips, argumentative/interrupting speech patterns, accents, higher intelligence or perceived skills in particular areas, glasses, other physical features such as stature, body type, breast size, etc.). Then, we assign higher value to those who “pass” or who are taken for NOT belonging to that group over those who display more/stronger group-identified traits. IO wins, there.

image from http://www.sodahead.com

IO manifests when Black people tell themselves or others (or have TV shows/movies/ music videos/ books which demonstrate) that “lighter skin” is “prettier” or straighter hair is “more professional.”

Best first-read to unlearn racism? A classic, by Professor Peggy McIntosh, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”
http://www.artsci.washington.edu/natsci/Search-committee-materials/unpacking-invisible-knapsack.pdf

ETHNOCENTRISM/ANTI-SEMITISM: When Jewish families determine that their child’s teenage nose is “too large” and encourage or require their child (usually a female) to have plastic surgery to “fix” (break and reshape) their noses, that is IO imposed by the parents onto the children. Similarly, hair-straightening, skin-lightening, lip-thinning or plumping and other feature-changing attempts all stem from some type of racist/ethnocentrist IO most of the time.

Example: ABLEISM: Those with different physical/mental abilities or disabilities position ourselves “above” as many others classified in this way as possible, striving to be seen and appreciated for our strengths, but not giving that same respect and value to those we place “below” us. This classification of individuals within an oppressed group by members of that group is also classic IO in action: we do the oppressors’ work for them.

When a paraplegic calls a quadriplegic a “crip,” that is IO. When we who are older and becoming more hearing-impaired respond with impatience to someone else who can’t hear well, or are self-deprecating about our own inability to hear clearly, that is IO.

AGEISM: When adults presume younger- or -older looking people are teens or elderly and therefore treat them with less respect, that is oppressive. When WE, as members of a targeted age group, have similar negative attitudes because of someone’s actual or presumed age, IO is taking charge.

Telling ourselves (and anyone else) that we/they are less capable, worthy, competent or otherwise valuable because of our/their age (whatever it is) is also IO at work.

HETEROSEXISM: When gay men deride other gay men for being “too faggy” or a “flaming ‘queen,'” or lesbians call other lesbians “bulldykes” or “lipstick lesbians” based on their appearances, that is IO. Being down on ourselves as bisexuals, believing we are “unclear” or people who “can’t make up our minds” means IO has taken over.

Some people believe that oppressed groups can “reclaim” derogatory labels, like “nigger,” “dyke,” “fag,” “kike,” “bitch,” “‘ho'” and others by using them among “ourselves,” but I strongly disagree and so do those who work within the oppression-reduction movements. Using the slave-owners’ terms for the slaves among the slaves does NOT “empower” them: it makes them colluders.

image from http://goodmenproject.com

You don’t “liberate” a derogatory term by using it repeatedly. Instead, we give the oppressors and bigots permission to use horrible names for us publicly and strengthen those terms’ cultural importance because we use those names, too. I don’t use them at all, anymore.

IO gets its main power from us. When we hear messages repeatedly that we aren’t “good enough,” regardless of who we are and how we look, from advertisers that want to sell us products to “make us look better,” these messages creep into our psyches. We then exacerbate and facilitate this brutality onto our own self-esteem when we buy into the ideas that we aren’t attractive because of IO operating on our subconscious.

Example: AGEISM and SEXISM plus LOOKS-ISM: Women and men do not “need” to remove body hair to be “attractive.” Believing that body-hair-free men or women are “sexier” is a social construct, one not followed by most of the world and only recently followed even by modern adults. Body-hair-free adults look more like pre-pubescent children. How is that look perceived as “sexy” by anyone who is mentally healthy?

What can we do to eliminate or reduce Internalized Oppression?

Perhaps you’ll be willing to go on a hunt, excavating your own internal messages and searching for those that are oppressive in order to eradicate or neutralize them. I hope you will.

image from http://www.industrialantioppression.blogspot.com

Read! Listen to Podcasts or watch videos on this topic: there are thousands of ways to recognize and then unlearn the messages we have internalized that build onto institutionalized oppression.

image from http://ink361.com
PEGGY McINTOSh’s article

If your self-improvement efforts are not immediately successful, don’t be discouraged: it can take decades to “unlearn” the oppressive viewpoints which have been inculcated into us all. Just keep trying to notice them and not believe them: that’s a great start. Also, if there are workshops, classes, or other opportunities online or in person (better) to unlearn racism, sexism, etc., or to learn about social justice and oppression, please avail yourselves of them.

It’s never too late to become less biased and to learn to advocate more positively for yourself as well.

Next, don’t allow statements that perpetuate IO to go unchallenged. Speak up. Speak out.

Silence = assent is not just a bumper sticker.

image from http://www.decolonizingyoga.com

Tell me What Types of Posts you Want More of for 2015! Summary & Links to Posts from 2014’s Sally Ember, Ed.D., Blog by Category

12/31/2014 by Sally Ember, EdD

Tell me What Types of Posts you Want More of for 2015! Summary & Links to Posts from 2014’s Sally Ember, Ed.D., Blog by Category

Welcome to all my new readers, followers, and returning ones to this year-end review. I am grateful for all of your attention, especially when you reblog, comment, ask questions or poke at my opinions. THANK YOU for being a part of this writer’s blog experience this year and I hope you continue to visit!

Quick Year-in-Review Stats and Info:

My post, Pros and Cons of #Writers’ Critique Groups, 2/20/14, brought the most visitors in one day (195).
My post, 15 Points about the Effects of #Concussions on #Meditators’ #Brains, 5/2/14, was the most-viewed post (356) (see below for list of ALL my posts, by category and date).
My post, How to STUPENDIFY my #Ebook’s Release with a Virtual Book Tour, garnered the most comments (22).
This blog was viewed about 14,000 times with visitors from 127 countries.
Nicholas C. Rossis was my most active commenter: THANKS, Nicholas!

Link to full annual stats report: https://sallyember.com/2014/annual-report/

If you are new-ish to this blog, you may especially appreciate that I have listed most of my blog posts and major categories, below, so you can cruise around by topic rather than date, if you choose. I am a sci-fi/ romance/ utopian/ multiverse/ paranormal (psi) ebooks author who also has a keen interest in many other subjects, most notably: science, social issues/politics, writing/publishing/ book marketing/ reviews, and spirituality/meditation. Because of a fall that caused a concussion last spring, I also became engrossed in Traumatic Brain Injury and its aftermaths, especially as it impacts meditation.

In addition to the posts listed, below, I also have Author Interviews (with me as the subject), videos of each of my CHANGES conversations (we’re up to Episode 16, to date), links to my guest blog posts and much more on my website (I’m providing the link here in case you’re reading this elsewhere):
http://www.sallyember.com

My broad interests are loosely grouped into the categories I’ve centered and bolded, below, but some posts had to be listed as “doubled” because they straddled more than one area.

I’ve highlighted the TOP (1st, 2nd and 3rd), as in most-viewed, posts as well as some of the least-viewed.

Regarding the least-viewed, many of these are not listed, below, because I didn’t originate the content and/or the posts were not about my own books, but these posts which had between 1 – 3 views included: most reblogs of others’ posts; links to interviews of me or others as Authors; links and excerpts from my books’ reviews and The Spanners Series‘ Vol II’s serialized excerpts; personal stories from my meditation retreat and experiences; announcements of The Spanners Series‘ book trailers, releases, reviews; announcements of my being on someone else’s radio show, blog or other format as an author; some of my opinion pieces on various topics.

No pattern, there, so not sure what to make of these low-readership posts. Wrong day? Wrong week? Not enough followers, yet, when posted? We’ll see in future months!

If you missed a post, enjoyed a topic but didn’t realize I had more posts in that same area, or want to comment on any of this year’s posts, now’s your chance! Please do comment! I reply to all. And, feel free to share/reblog, curate/use any of my content (giving me credit, please, and excerpting ethically, of course).

I hope your holiday celebrations or whatever activities you have been doing lately have brought you joy. Best to you all!

About My Books and Other Science-Fiction

1/8/14: “Finishing the Hat” or, in my case, another #eBook
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/08/finishing-the-hat-or-in-my-case-another-ebook/

1-16-14: “5 Wonderful Stars” for #THISCHANGESEVERYTHING!
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/16/618/

1/18/14: #DNF Review for #THISCHANGESEVERYTHING still shines!
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/18/dnf-review-for-thischangeseverything-still-shines/

1/23/14: Surprisingly Glowing #Review by Carrie Shepherd of This Changes Everything
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/23/surprisingly-glowing-review-by-carrie-shepherd-of-this-changes-everything/

1/24/14: Stellar Review by David ben Efraim for This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series: “The End of Humankind’s Loneliness”
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/24/5-star-review-by-david-ben-efraim-of-this-changes-everything-volume-i-the-spanners-series-the-end-of-humankinds-loneliness/

1/25/14: New Book Trailer for This Changes Everything right here!
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/25/new-book-trailer-for-this-changes-everything-right-here/

1/28/14: 3 Stars for This Changes Everything from Alexander Crommich: Book Review
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/28/3-stars-for-this-changes-everything-from-alexander-crommich-book-review/

2/5/14: “Complex, Creative, and Compelling – 4 Stars” from B.C. Brown for This Changes Everything!
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/05/complex-creative-and-compelling-4-stars-from-b-c-brown-for-this-changes-everything/

2/6/14: 4 Stars from “April” for This Changes Everything on Amazon and elsewhere
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/06/4-stars-from-april-for-this-changes-everything-on-amazon-and-elsewhere/

2/6/14: 2nd #BookTrailer for #THISCHANGESEVERYTHING, Vol. I, #THESPANNERSSERIES
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/06/2nd-booktrailer-for-thischangeseverything-vol-i-thespannersseries/

2/10/14: High Praise from Rebecca T for #ThisChangesEverything!
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/10/5-stars-from-rebecca-t-for-this-changes-everything/

2/18/14: #ThisChangesEverything #BookTrailer with #Multiverse Focus
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/18/thischangeseverything-booktrailer-with-multiverse-focus/

2/28/14: #Multiverse #Experiment this week: Tomorrow’s Story Written Today
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/28/multiverse-experiment-this-week-tomorrows-story-written-today/

3/13/14 – 4/18/14: LEAST-VIEWED POSTS (most with only 1 view), so probably will not do for Volumes III and beyond unless YOU encourage me! “Acclaimed, eagerly-awaited SPANNERS SERIES’ Volume II Excerpts”
https://sallyember.com/2014/03/13/acclaimed-eagerly-awaited-spanners-series-volume-ii-excerpts-starting-31614/

3/30/14: 4 stars! #BookReview #THISCHANGESEVERYTHING by Nick LeVar, Free World Authors
https://sallyember.com/2014/03/30/bookreview-thischangeseverything-by-nick-levar-free-world-authors/

4/1/14: #COVER #REVEAL! #THISCHANGESMYFAMILY&MYLIFEFOREVER, Vol II, #THESPANNERSSERIES
https://sallyember.com/2014/04/01/cover-reveal-thischangesmyfamilymylifeforever-vol-ii-thespannersseries/

4/3/14: Another 4-Star Review for #ThisChangesEverything, Vol. I, #TheSpannersSeries
https://sallyember.com/2014/04/03/another-4-star-review-for-thischangeseverything-vol-i-thespannersseries/

5/9/14 (doubled category): 3 Reasons That This Changes Everything, Volume I of The Spanners Series, is Permafree
https://sallyember.com/2014/05/09/3-reasons-that-this-changes-everything-volume-i-of-the-spanners-series-is-permafree/

6/3/14: 4-Star #Review for #THISCHANGESVERYTHING, Vol I, #THESPANNERSSERIES
https://sallyember.com/2014/06/03/4-star-review-for-thischangesverything-vol-i-thespannersseries/

6/6/14: 5-Star #Review of #THISCHANGESMYFAMILYANDMYLIFEFOREVER, Vol II, #THESPANNERSSERIES
https://sallyember.com/2014/06/06/review-of-thischangesmyfamilyandmylifeforever-vol-ii-thespannersseries/

6/9/14: RT and SHARE: Release Date is TODAY! #THISCHANGESMYFAMILYANDMYLIFEFOREVER, Vol II, #THESPANNERSSERIES on sale NOW!
https://sallyember.com/2014/06/09/rt-and-share-release-date-is-today-thischangesmyfamilyandmylifeforever-vol-ii-thespannersseries-on-sale-now/

8/9/14: 5-Stars for Volume II of The Spanners Series on Goodreads!
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/09/5-stars-for-volume-ii-of-the-spanners-series-on-goodreads/

9/10/14: “Mrs. G” Reviewed This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/10/mrs-g-reviewed-this-changes-everything-volume-i-the-spanners-series/

9/25/14: 5 Stars for This Changes Everything from “Raving in Alaska” on Amazon!
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/25/5-stars-for-this-changes-everything-from-raving-in-alaska-on-amazon/

10/4/14: “Quick Book Reviews” Gives “Thumbs Up” to This Changes Everything, Vol I, The Spanners Series!
https://sallyember.com/2014/10/04/quick-book-reviews-gives-thumbs-up-to-this-changes-everything-vol-i-the-spanners-series/

11/11/14: **** for This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, Vol II of The Spanners Series
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/11/for-this-changes-my-family-and-my-life-forever-vol-ii-of-the-spanners-series/

12/20/14: SF The Spanners Series, Volume III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change, excerpt
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/20/the-spanners-series-volume-iii-this-isis-not-the-way-i-want-things-to-change-excerpt/

Creativity at Work, Here

3/29/14: The Cloud People Dance at #sallyember.com
https://sallyember.com/2014/03/29/the-cloud-people-dance-at-sallyember-com/

7/18/14: Criteria for Selecting Speculative Fiction for Younger Readers: What to Discuss and Why
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/18/criteria-for-selecting-speculative-fiction-for-younger-readers-what-to-discuss-and-why/

8/18/14: My Best Give-Away Story: “Our Family Table becomes Ryan and Gina’s Family Table”
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/18/my-best-give-away-story-our-family-table-becomes-ryan-and-ginas-family-table/

8/19/14: #iamsubject story: “I Find Myself Wherever I Live and I Move A Lot!”
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/19/iamsubject-story-i-find-myself-wherever-i-live-and-i-move-a-lot/

9/4/14: Moving back “home” after living elsewhere for over 40 years https://sallyember.com/2014/09/04/moving-back-home-after-living-elsewhere-for-over-40-years/

9/8/14: How I Benefit from the Celebrities I Grew Up /Worked with and Still Do
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/08/how-i-benefitted-from-the-celebrities-i-grew-up-worked-with-and-still-do/

9/22/14 (doubled category): Goodreads’ Genre-Specific Review Group’s Fall 2014 Blog Hop Tour: “COMFORT”
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/22/goodreads-genre-specific-review-groups-fall-2014-blog-hop-tour-comfort/

9/27/14: My post for the Goodreads’ Genre-Specific Review Group’s Fall 2014 Blog Hop Tour: “COMFORT” is this year’s theme.
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/27/my-post-for-the-goodreads-genre-specific-review-groups-fall-2014-blog-hop-tour-comfort-is-this-years-theme/

10/1/14: My Fall #NewTVShows Reviews: 2014 is a VERY Mixed Season, thru 10/1/14
https://sallyember.com/2014/10/01/my-fall-newtvshows-reviews-2014-is-a-very-mixed-season-so-far/

11/8/14: Today, in #SPAM
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/08/today-in-spam/

12/10/14: “Non-Reciprocity Leads to Less Selfishness”
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/10/what-do-we-have-to-lose/

12/16/14: “Discovering My Inner Con,” for Where do I find it?, Yeah Write Poetry Challenge #192
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/16/discovering-my-inner-con-where-do-i-find-it-for-yeah-write-poetry-challenge-192/

12/23/14: “Most-Anticipated” #Films of #2015: Yeah or Nay? And, one look back at 2014 #SciFi and #Fantasy Films
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/23/most-anticipated-films-of-2015-yeah-or-nay/

About Science

1/30/14 (doubled category): #Buddhism and #Science: the Facts, the Yogis, the Practices
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/30/buddhism-and-science-a-marriage-of-minds-convenience-a-sham-the-truth/

2/14/14: Because of Hormesis: When Heartache Doesn’t Wreck You, It Makes You Stronger
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/14/because-of-hormesis-when-heartache-doesnt-wreck-you-it-makes-you-stronger/

3/14/14: My #1980s #Computer Tutors: Thanks to Jaye Alper (sorely missed ) and Mario Cossa
https://sallyember.com/2014/03/14/my-1980s-computer-tutors-thanks-to-jaye-alper-sorely-missed-and-mario-cossa/

4/11/14 (doubled category): What are the Four Major Upsides and Downsides of #Paranormal #Presentiment?
https://sallyember.com/2014/04/11/what-are-the-four-major-upsides-and-downsides-of-paranormal-presentiment/

8/2/14 (doubled category): Proven, Long-term Effects on Physical Health of those who suffered childhood Trauma, Abuse, Neglect and Bullying
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/02/how-childhood-trauma-can-have-lifelong-consequences/

8/20/14 (doubled category): Bras and Shoes: Breast Cancer, Bunions, Back Strain and “Beauty” Lies
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/20/bras-and-shoes-breast-cancer-bunions-back-strain-and-beauty-lies/

8/28/14 (doubled category): Deadly Eye Makeup and other “Beauty” “Aids”: STOP USING THESE!
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/28/deadly-eye-makeup-and-other-beauty-aids-stop-using-these/

9/18/14 (doubled category): “Actualists” vs. “Realists”: The Evolution of Modern #Fiction thanks to #Quantum #Physics
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/18/actualists-vs-realists-the-evolution-of-modern-fiction-thanks-to-quantum-physics/

10/16/14: #Love According to #Psychology and #Biology
https://sallyember.com/2014/10/16/love-according-to-psychology-and-biology/

10/21/14 (doubled category): Lead Lipsticks, Folliculitis with MRSA from Hair Removal, and other Deadly “Beauty” Choices
https://sallyember.com/2014/10/21/lead-lipsticks-folliculitis-with-mrsa-from-hair-removal-and-other-deadly-beauty-choices/

11/10/14: Latest News in #ParallelUniverses and/or the #Multiverse, According to #Science in 2014
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/10/latest-news-in-paralleluniverses-andor-the-multiverse-according-to-science-in-2014/

About Social Issues and Politics

2/3/14: 15 Ways I PERSONALLY #Conserve #Water and You MUST, Too!
ttp://sallyember.com/2014/02/03/15-ways-i-personally-conserve-water-and-you-must-too/

5/20/14: Guilty is Guilty: Step up and Take Your Punishments
https://sallyember.com/2014/05/20/guilty-is-guilty-step-up-and-take-your-punishments/

6/10/14: #Sexist, #Racist Dress Codes? What is “Proper #School Attire” in the 2010’s?
https://sallyember.com/2014/06/10/sexist-racist-dress-codes-what-is-proper-school-attire-in-the-2010s/

6/27/14: 3rd TOP POST: 271 Views, Why posting about fruit is insulting to women: DO NOT PARTICIPATE in this year’s “Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign”
https://sallyember.com/2014/06/27/why-posting-about-fruit-is-insulting-to-women-do-not-participate-in-this-years-breast-cancer-awareness-campaign/

7/1/14: Facts about #BPA, #Water Bottles, Shower Curtains, #Cans, More, and What to Do
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/01/facts-about-bpa-water-bottles-shower-curtains-cans-more-and-what-to-do/

7/7/14: ‘BOT v. HUMAN: Score 2 for the Human! Transcript of Actual Online Chat with AT & T “Service Representative,” July, 2014
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/07/bot-v-human-score-2-for-the-human-transcript-of-actual-online-chat-with-at-t-service-representative-july-2014/

7/29/14: Supporting gender and sexual orientation diversity is important: It’s sometimes a matter of life and death
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/29/supporting-gender-and-sexual-orientation-diversity-is-important-its-sometimes-a-matter-of-life-and-death/

8/28/14 (doubled category): Deadly Eye Makeup and other “Beauty” “Aids”: STOP USING THESE!
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/28/deadly-eye-makeup-and-other-beauty-aids-stop-using-these/

9/16/14: Being #Single vs. Social #Isolation: Benefits and Costs of #Solitude
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/16/being-single-vs-social-isolation-benefits-and-costs-of-solitude/

10/13/14: #Nobel Prize Winners 2014: Why we should pay attention and be grateful
https://sallyember.com/2014/10/13/nobel-prize-winners-2014-why-we-should-pay-attention-and-be-grateful/

10/24/14: No Woman Wants to Have An Abortion, but We MUST Support EVERY Woman’s Right To Choose
https://sallyember.com/2014/10/24/no-woman-wants-to-have-an-abortion-but-we-must-support-every-womans-right-to-choose/

10/28/14 (doubled category): CONTROVERSY: #Buddhists and #Organ Donation at #Death
https://sallyember.com/2014/10/28/controversy-buddhists-and-organ-donation-at-death/

11/20/14: We Should All Contribute to Raising All Children
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/20/we-should-all-contribute-to-raising-all-children/

12/9/14: “Waiting For Your Boyfriend to Marry You” My Response
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/09/waiting-for-your-boyfriend-to-marry-you/

12/11/14: TEN Ways to Encourage #Victims of Any Age to #Report #Sexual and Other #Abuse
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/11/ten-ways-to-encourage-victims-of-any-age-to-report-sexual-and-other-abuse/

12/30/14: You need to reorganize your life if you are outsourcing your dating activities
https://sallyember.wordpress.com/2014/12/30/you-need-to-reorganize-your-life-if-you-are-outsourcing-your-dating-activities/

About my talk show, CHANGES, a Google+ HOA (Hangout On Air)

7/21/14: “Getting Comfortable with #Technology Takes Time,” Meloney Hall’s “Lights, Camera, #HOA” with Sally Ember, Ed.D., from 7/21/14
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/23/getting-comfortable-with-technology-takes-time-meloney-halls-lights-camera-hoa-with-sally-ember-ed-d-from-72114/

7/28/14: Sally Ember’s CHANGES Google + HOA (Hangouts On Air) Start August 6
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/28/sally-embers-changes-google-hoa-hangouts-on-air-start-august-6/

8/8/14: CHANGES Episode 1 on Youtube Google+ HOA with Sally Ember and Shay West
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/08/changes-episode-1-on-youtube-google-hoa-with-sally-ember-and-shay-west/

12/9/14 (doubled category): #Crowdfunding with #Patreon: Sally Ember’s Campaign Needs Your Support!
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/09/crowdfunding-with-patreon-sally-embers-campaign-needs-your-support/

12/26/14 (doubled category): Sally Ember’s #Crowdfunding Song
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/26/sally-embers-crowdfunding-song/

12/29/14 (Doubled category): The Very Inspiring #Blogger# Award Landed Here!
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/29/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award-landed-here/

My Teacher, Lama Padma Drimed Norbu, known as Lama Drimed

About Meditation and Spiritual Practice

1/11/14: When #Spiritual #Teachers Respond with #Countertransference
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/11/when-spiritual-teachers-respond-with-countertransference/

1/14/14: Another Friend’s Death: Mortality in Daily Life https://sallyember.com/2014/01/14/another-friends-death-mortality-in-daily-life/

1/30/14 (doubled category): #Buddhism and #Science: the Facts, the Yogis, the Practices
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/30/buddhism-and-science-a-marriage-of-minds-convenience-a-sham-the-truth/

2/17/14: How Having a #Buddhist #Spiritual #Teacher Changes Me
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/17/how-having-a-spiritual-teacher-changes-me/

2/23/14: 18 Tweets/3 photos inspired by the live speech of His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, 2-23-14, Berkeley, CA https://sallyember.com/2014/02/23/18-tweets3-photos-inspired-by-the-live-speech-of-his-holiness-the-14th-dalai-lama-2-23-14-berkeley-ca/

2/25/14: The Swan Song of my #Buddhist Mini Home #Retreat Sung a Bit Early
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/25/the-swan-song-of-my-buddhist-mini-home-retreat-sung-a-bit-early/

5/2/14 TOP POST, 356 Views (doubled category): 15 Points about the #Effects of #Concussions on #Meditators’ #Brains
https://sallyember.com/2014/05/02/the-effects-of-concussions-on-meditators-brains/

6/20/14: #60for60: 60 ACTS OF #KINDNESS AND GRATITUDE– each of the days before my 60TH
https://sallyember.com/2014/06/20/60-for-60-60-acts-of-kindness-and-gratitude-for-the-60-days-preceding-my-60th-birthday/

6/26/14: I can #Meditate, Again! Ahhhh!
https://sallyember.com/2014/06/23/i-can-meditate-again-ahhhh/

7/14/14: The #Freedom to Die without Regret: Post for #RaveReviewsBookClub #Blog #Recruitment Day
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/14/the-freedom-to-die-without-regret/

8/22/14: #60for60 ENDS Today! 6/21 – 8/22/14
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/22/60for60-starts-today-621-82214/

9/22/14: 10Q begins September 24th, 2014 (Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashanah)
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/22/10q-begins-september-24th-2014-jewish-new-year-rosh-hashanah/

10/28/14 (doubled category): CONTROVERSY: #Buddhists and #Organ Donation at #Death
https://sallyember.com/2014/10/28/controversy-buddhists-and-organ-donation-at-death/

11/3/14: 5 Ways for #Giving 1% to Offset the Splurging Inspired by the Holidays
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/03/5-ways-for-giving-1-to-offset-the-splurging-inspired-by-the-holidays/

12/13/14 (doubled category): Linda Ronstadt’s Rendition of Desperado Burst my Grief Dam
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/13/linda-ronstadts-rendition-of-desperado-burst-my-grief-dam/

About Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBIs) and Concussions

5/2/14 (doubled category): 15 Points about the #Effects of #Concussions on #Meditators’ #Brains
https://sallyember.com/2014/05/02/the-effects-of-concussions-on-meditators-brains/

6/25/14: The Latest Research on Traumatic Brain Injury (#TBI): Causes, Diagnostics, Treatments
https://sallyember.com/2014/06/25/the-latest-research-on-traumatic-brain-injury-tbi-causes-diagnostics-treatments/

9/12/14: #Injuries to the #Mind, #Brain and #Psyche that Cause Difficulties with #Meditation
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/12/injuries-to-the-mind-brain-and-psyche-that-cause-difficulties-with-meditation/

12/13/14 (doubled category): Linda Ronstadt’s Rendition of Desperado Burst my Grief Dam
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/13/linda-ronstadts-rendition-of-desperado-burst-my-grief-dam/

About Publishing, Book Marketing, Writing, Writers

1/20/14: My #Writing Process: Revealed!
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/20/my-writing-process-revealed/

1/21/14: My #Pinterest Boards are for you, my #Readers and #Fans
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/21/my-pinterest-boards-are-for-you-my-readers-and-fans/

1/27/14: My #Literary #Meh List 2014: 15 Plots, Devices, Characters I’m BORED with
https://sallyember.com/2014/01/27/my-literary-meh-list-2014-15-plots-devices-characters-im-sick-of/

2/15/14: #Smashwords vs. #Amazon for #Indie #Authors #ebook #epub: Pros and Cons
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/15/smashwords-vs-amazon-for-indie-authors-ebook-epub-pros-and-cons/

2/16/14: #Female #ebook #Authors: Getting Checked Out More at #Libraries
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/16/libraries-top-circulating-print-books-and-ebooks-in-jan-2014-how-ebooks-are-leveling-the-gender-playing-field/

2/20/14: Pros and Cons of #Writers’ Critique Groups
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/20/pros-and-cons-of-writers-critique-groups/

2/23/14: 2nd TOP POST: 310 Views, Why My First Experience with Using #Pre-Orders Will Help Get My NEXT #Ebook Higher on #Best-Seller Lists
https://sallyember.com/2014/02/23/why-my-first-experience-with-using-pre-orders-will-help-get-my-next-ebook-higher-on-best-seller-lists/

3/12/14: my #SFRB post: Lending Actual People’s Bios to #Fictional #Characters: Pros and Cons
https://sallyember.com/2014/03/12/945/

3/29/14: “I write like Ursula K. Le Guin”! Couldn’t have been more honored! https://sallyember.com/2014/03/29/i-write-like-ursula-k-le-guin-couldnt-have-been-more-honored/

4/29/14: 5 Things Wrong with #Sex Scenes in #Romance Novels and How to Improve Them https://sallyember.com/2014/04/29/5-things-wrong-with-sex-scenes-in-romance-novels-and-how-to-improve-them/

5/14/14: The Anguish of Posting a 2-Star Review of a Colleague’s Book
https://sallyember.com/2014/05/14/the-anguish-of-posting-a-2-star-review-of-a-colleagues-book/

5/16/14: Important Perspectives on #Book #Reviews for #Authors
https://sallyember.com/2014/05/16/important-perspectives-on-book-reviews-for-authors/

5/22/14: #AUTHORS: #Plot Spice, or the 5 Worst Places to Wake Up Unexpectedly
https://sallyember.com/2014/05/22/authors-plot-spice-or-the-5-worst-places-to-wake-up-unexpectedly/

5/27/14: 16 Ways I Use #Goodreads https://sallyember.com/2014/05/27/16-ways-i-use-goodreads/

6/6/14: How to STUPENDIFY my #Ebook’s Release with a Virtual Book Tour
https://sallyember.com/2014/06/06/how-to-stupendify-my-ebooks-release-with-a-virtual-book-tour/

7/2/14: Guest Blog Post: “#Utopian #Sci-fi/#Speculative Fiction: Why it’s Intriguing and Necessary” https://sallyember.com/2014/07/02/guest-blog-post-utopian-sci-fispeculative-fiction-why-its-intriguing-and-necessary/

7/3/14: Excavating your Soul! – Indie and Proud
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/03/excavating-your-soul-indie-and-proud/

7/6/14: 10 Ways to Celebrate #Indie #Authors https://sallyember.com/2014/07/06/10-ways-to-celebrate-indie-authors/

7/10/14: Guest Post: “The Politics of Speculative/ Science-Fiction”
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/10/guest-post-the-politics-of-speculative-science-fiction/

7/16/14: Good #Writing DOES Require #Talent, Not just Hard Work
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/16/writing-does-require-talent-not-just-hard-work/

7/22/14: Parallel Construction: What it is, what it isn’t, and how to write better despite hating your 8th-grade English teacher
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/22/parallel-construction-what-it-is-what-it-isnt-and-how-to-write-better-despite-hating-your-8th-grade-english-teacher/

7/24/14: A DNF (Did Not Finish) Experience Does NOT Qualify for a “Review”
https://sallyember.com/2014/07/24/a-dnf-did-not-finish-experience-does-not-qualify-for-a-review/

8/10/14: My Blogaversary and 1st year of Book Marketing: Report Card
https://sallyember.com/2014/08/10/my-blogaversary-and-1st-year-of-book-marketing-report-card/

9/2/14: Book Sales are like PotLucks: You Don’t Know Who Appreciates Your Creation
https://sallyember.com/2014/09/02/book-sales-are-like-potlucks-you-dont-know-who-appreciates-your-creation/

10/31/14: NOT DOING #NaNoWriMo Writing Plans
https://sallyember.com/2014/10/31/not-doing-nanowrimo-writing-plans/

11/16/14: 15 #Fiction #Promos that should be Revised or Trashed Completely
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/16/15-fiction-promos-that-should-be-revised-or-trashed-completely/

11/17/14: SHARE! EXPERIENCED #editor #proofreader available for quick-turn around jobs
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/17/experienced-editor-proofreader-available-for-quick-turn-around-jobs/

11/18/14: Stale writing? 4 Underused Literary Devices: Aphorism, Hyperbole, Tmesis and Zeugma
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/18/stale-writing-4-underused-literary-devices-aphorism-hyperbole-tmesis-and-zeugma/

11/21/14: Why I LOVE the #Smashwords Blog and you should, too!
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/21/why-i-love-the-smashwords-blog-and-you-should-too/

11/24/14: “What I Wish I had Known for #Indiepub #Ebooks 1 and 2: An Open Letter to my Earlier Self,” Guest Post on The Book Cove
https://sallyember.com/2014/11/24/what-i-wish-i-had-known-for-indiepub-ebooks-1-and-2-an-open-letter-to-my-earlier-self-guest-post-on-the-book-cove/

12/1/14: “An Open Letter to my Earlier Self about #Book #Reviews and #Reviewers,” Guest Post on The Book Cove
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/01/an-open-letter-to-my-earlier-self-about-book-reviews-and-reviewers-guest-post-on-the-book-cove-goes-live-today/

12/8/14: “Part III: Letter to my Earlier Self about #Preorders,” Guest Post on The Book Cove
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/08/part-iii-letter-to-my-earlier-self-about-preorders-guest-blogger-post-on-the-book-cove-reviews/

12/15/14: “Part IV: Letter to my Earlier Self about #Blog #Hops and #Virtual #Book #Tours,” Guest Post on The Book Cove
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/15/part-iv-letter-to-my-earlier-self-about-blog-hops-and-virtual-book-tours-guest-blogger-post-on-the-book-cove-reviews/

12/26/14 (doubled category): Sally Ember’s #Crowdfunding Song
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/26/sally-embers-crowdfunding-song/

12/29/14 (Doubled category): The Very Inspiring #Blogger# Award Landed Here!
https://sallyember.com/2014/12/29/the-very-inspiring-blogger-award-landed-here/

from **B*TCH MEDIA**, “#Feminism and #Science-Fiction” #Podcasts

12/05/2014 by Sally Ember, EdD

from B*TCH MEDIA, “#Feminism and #Science-Fiction” #Podcasts

If you are a feminist, interested in feminism, a science-fiction writer or reader, or all four, you MUST listen to these 4 podcasts from Popaganda of B*TCH MEDIA.

You can listen to them all in a row (first window) or listen to each one separately. Here are the titles of the four podcasts in this Episode of Popaganda:

“The beautiful ‘feminism and sci-fi’ illustration is from Voyage by Molly Mendoza. Voyage is a visual essay on the Voyager Interstellar Mission and is embedded with the themes of wonder, distance, and exploring places far away from home.”

DEEP THOUGHTS ON ELLEN RIPLEY: Ellen Ripley and Gender in “Alien”
INTERVIEW WITH WALIDAH IMARISHA: Peace, Justice, and Octavia Butler
INTERVIEW WITH ADRIENNE MAREE BROWN: What Can Social Justice Activists Learn from Science Fiction?
AN ESSAY ON FAMILY, SCIENCE, AND POP CULTURE: The Laws of Familial Thermodynamics

If you don’t subscribe, yet, to BiTCH MEDIA, an unavoidable pop-up comes with this link, below, asking for you to subscribe. Sorry. I don’t know how to disable it, but honestly, you SHOULD subscribe and, if you can afford it, donate. BiTCH MEDIA is a great source of info, critique and news.

LINK TO ALL PODCASTS:
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/popaganda-episode-feminism-and-science-fiction

from B*TCH MEDIA, “#Feminism and #Science-Fiction” #Podcasts

12/05/2014 by Sally Ember, EdD

from B*TCH MEDIA, “#Feminism and #Science-Fiction” #Podcasts

If you are a feminist, interested in feminism, a science-fiction writer or reader, or all four, you MUST listen to these 4 podcasts from Popaganda of B*TCH MEDIA.

You can listen to them all in a row (first window) or listen to each one separately. Here are the titles of the four podcasts in this Episode of Popaganda:

DEEP THOUGHTS ON ELLEN RIPLEY: Ellen Ripley and Gender in “Alien”
INTERVIEW WITH WALIDAH IMARISHA: Peace, Justice, and Octavia Butler
INTERVIEW WITH ADRIENNE MAREE BROWN: What Can Social Justice Activists Learn from Science Fiction?
AN ESSAY ON FAMILY, SCIENCE, AND POP CULTURE: The Laws of Familial Thermodynamics

LINK TO ALL PODCASTS:
http://bitchmagazine.org/post/popaganda-episode-feminism-and-science-fiction

No Woman Wants to Have An Abortion, but We MUST Support EVERY Woman’s Right To Choose

10/24/2014 by Sally Ember, EdD

No Woman Wants to Have An Abortion, but
We MUST Support EVERY Woman’s Right To Choose

Of course that is true. Books about women’s experiences in choosing to have an abortion, having it, living with the decision, have these titles:

In Necessity and Sorrow, Peace after an Abortion, Healing after an Abortion, Dealing with the Emotional Aftermath of an Abortion, and similar.

Why in 2014, DECADES AFTER after the clarity of the Supreme Court’s 1973 decision in Roe v Wade, is women’s right-to-choose to terminate a pregnancy in the USA even in question?

Here is one main reason: MEN. More than a few very loud, conservative/reactionary, unfeeling, uncaring, ignorant and idiotic men. I call these men names with great care: they deserve every one of these appellations.

image from http://msmagazine.com

Last winter, Republican Allan Rothlisberg (Junction City, CA) who serves on a major House Committee (Commerce, Labor and Economic Development), stated: “If I was a woman over 50, I wouldn’t need gynecological services” (1/14/14). Bad grammar aside, the guy is a moron when it comes to women’s health care requirements.

Unfortunately, he is TYPICAL of the men in leadership positions spouting garbage. Offensive ridiculousness comes regularly out of those such as Todd Akin (R-Missouri), who invented the delightful term “legitimate rape” and claimed that there is no need for abortion to be legal in the case of rape because “women can just shut that down,” meaning, decide not to become fertilized, when we are raped.

I am not making this up.

Here is the other reason: RELIGION. Or, rather, the co-optation of Christian religious tenets and beliefs, tailoring and lying about the original teachings to “support” their platform. Nevermind that the same people who call themselves “pro-life” vote down tax increases or any funding for FEEDING, HOUSING, EDUCATING, and MAINTAINING HEALTH for actual, living children and adults, and that these same politicians and their supporters also want to exclude immigrants all together from ALL services. So much for being “pro-life” or even following their own Christian precepts.

image from http://www.criminalizeconservatism.com

As we approach another election, one in which the entire House of Representatives is up for grabs (and this part of Congress is the most culpable when it comes to misappropriation of politics and abusing their power in the name of religion), some facts seem important to know regarding abortion, a key issue (again). Please share. Please talk about this. I know I’m probably “preaching to the choir,” but we all have friends and relatives who could be better informed, and we ALL need to VOTE!

Who gets abortions in the USA?

What are the ages of women having abortions?

Anti-choice marketers would have us believe that most abortion-seekers are “irresponsible teenagers” who need “counseling” and “guidance,” implying that ignorance, carelessness, selfishness and a wanton disregard for life are influencing circumstances and driving abortion decisions.

However (big shock), they are incorrect. Only a small percentage (0.4%) of females who obtained abortions in this time period were under 15 years old. Interestingly, almost equal percentages (7 – 8%) were for women ages 15 – 17 and also for women 35-39. What types of circumstances and emotional characteristics could these demographic groups have in common, besides having an unwanted pregnancy?

82% of the women who had abortions in the 11-year period, 1999-2010, were between the ages of 18 – 34, with 34% as the largest single group, and it was for women ages 20 – 24.

Unsurprisingly, “older” women (NOT “ignorant” or in need of “guidance”) also get pregnant and decided to terminate the pregnancy: about 3% were over 40 years old.

What the reasons women choose abortion?

The conservative, anti-choice movement wants us to believe that the “primary” reasons for women’s choosing abortion are “selfish” and therefore not to be supported by law or community attitude. Their pie chart tries to illustrate that “most” women who have abortions do so because a pregnancy comes at the “wrong time” and /or they are “not ready” to have a child at that time. Even so, by their own research (which is questionable), only about one-quarter (27%) of the women gave that as their “primary” reason.

However, look at what the other survey options were and you can understand how so many chose the “not ready” category:

“Lack of maturity” Who is going to self-select that reason? Very few: 8%
“Relationship Issues” This is so broad as to be almost useless as a survey option. Only 9% selected this.
“Fetal Health Concerns” and “Maternal Health Concerns” each received about the same, 3% – 4%, matching “School or Career Concerns” with 4% as well. These combined total about 12%, or one-eighth of the respondents.
“Can’t afford the baby” (whose wording is already emotionally loaded, labeling the fetus a “baby” and then impugning the woman’s financial status at the same time) still garnered an almost equal percentage to those who said they weren’t “ready,” at 25%.
“Finished childbearing” is fraught with judgment as well, but nonetheless, 20% selected this as their primary reason for terminating the pregnancy.
“Rape” unsurprisingly received less than any, at 0.1%, while “Incest” isn’t on this chart (one could argue that all incest is rape, but to exclude it as a reason is significant, since conservatives keep voting down the right to choose, even in the case of rape or incest….).

image from http://www.conservapedia.com

The actual facts about USA women and abortion

About half of all women experience at least one unintended pregnancy in our lifetimes. This occurs mostly due to the fact that ALL birth control, even when used correctly and consistently, has a failure rate of at least 1% and most are worse.

image from http://www.abovetopsecret.com

The “Pill,” which is usually thought of as “effective,” fails almost 9% of the time. That means almost 1 out of every 10 women who rely on the Pill for birth control will become pregnant while taking it. In addition to causing all kinds of problems for the women that they were not expecting (no pun intended), pregnant women do not know they are pregnant until many months into the pregnancy (usually when the baby moves), which means the mothers are taking these hormones throughout the crucial first trimester. Birth control pills can have adverse effects on developing fetuses which usually causes birth defects and/or problems for these people later in life because of hormonal imbalances while they were developing in utero. The risk of ectopic pregnancies is also higher in women taking oral contraceptives after conception (which shouldn’t have occurred, but does).

Even worse, women who conceive while using spermicidal forms of birth control are counseled to have abortions because babies born to women using spermicides have astronomical rates of birth defects, up to and including stillbirth. The lesser problems include dwarfism, muscles missing or non-functional (eyelids’ muscles do not work, for example, so the eyes can’t fully open, which, without surgery, leads to blindness in newborns), hip displasia, clubfoot, cleft palate, and worse (New England Journal of Medicine), most of which, if reparable, require one or more surgeries and expensive rehabilitation.

image from http://www.nejm.org

Despite these facts, only about one-third of women who unintentionally become pregnant choose to have an abortion. This could be due to the fact that, of those with unintended pregnancies, about 60% already have one child. As I mentioned at the start: NO woman WANTS to have an abortion, and those who have already carried a pregnancy to term, parented a child, are even less likely to terminate. Statistics bear this out: most mothers choose NOT to terminate.

Furthermore, to refute another of the conservatives’ most specious arguments: the majority (73%) of women who choose to terminate a pregnancy ARE “religiously affiliated,” which means we are not ALL “godless heathens” (although, as a Buddhist, I am proud to be “godless” and couldn’t care less about being called a “heathen”).

image from http://naralprochoicewashington.tumblr.com

I could, but I won’t, tell my entire personal story, here. Bare facts: I was “typical” in that I was in my middle-twenties, educated, and pro-child (I was teaching Kindergarten-First Grade at the time). I chose to terminate due to my having been financially and emotionally unready and unable to care for a child at the time I got pregnant, which occurred due to a birth control failure (diaphragm, which has a 4% failure rate).

Please, whatever your story or gender, VOTE in or keep in a pro-choice candidate this November. The right to choose to terminate a pregnancy is a HUMAN right and, unfortunately, sometimes a necessity. Even if the choices are often made in sorrow, they must be safe and legal to make.

image from http://www.kylelife.com

No Woman Wants to Have An Abortion, but We MUST Support EVERY Woman’s Right To Choose

10/24/2014 by Sally Ember, EdD

No Woman Wants to Have An Abortion, but
We MUST Support EVERY Woman’s Right To Choose

Of course that is true. Books about women’s experiences in choosing to have an abortion, having it, living with the decision, have these titles:

In Necessity and Sorrow, Peace after an Abortion, Healing after an Abortion, Dealing with the Emotional Aftermath of an Abortion, and similar.

Why in 2014, DECADES AFTER after the clarity of the Supreme Court’s 1973 decision in Roe v Wade, is women’s right-to-choose to terminate a pregnancy in the USA even in question?

image from http://msmagazine.com

I am not making this up.

image from http://www.criminalizeconservatism.com

Who gets abortions in the USA?

What are the ages of women having abortions?

82% of the women who had abortions in the 11-year period, 1999-2010, were between the ages of 18 – 34, with 34% as the largest single group, and it was for women ages 20 – 24.

Unsurprisingly, “older” women (NOT “ignorant” or in need of “guidance”) also get pregnant and decided to terminate the pregnancy: about 3% were over 40 years old.

What the reasons women choose abortion?

However, look at what the other survey options were and you can understand how so many chose the “not ready” category:

“Lack of maturity” Who is going to self-select that reason? Very few: 8%
“Relationship Issues” This is so broad as to be almost useless as a survey option. Only 9% selected this.
“Fetal Health Concerns” and “Maternal Health Concerns” each received about the same, 3% – 4%, matching “School or Career Concerns” with 4% as well. These combined total about 12%, or one-eighth of the respondents.
“Can’t afford the baby” (whose wording is already emotionally loaded, labeling the fetus a “baby” and then impugning the woman’s financial status at the same time) still garnered an almost equal percentage to those who said they weren’t “ready,” at 25%.
“Finished childbearing” is fraught with judgment as well, but nonetheless, 20% selected this as their primary reason for terminating the pregnancy.
“Rape” unsurprisingly received less than any, at 0.1%, while “Incest” isn’t on this chart (one could argue that all incest is rape, but to exclude it as a reason is significant, since conservatives keep voting down the right to choose, even in the case of rape or incest….).

image from http://www.conservapedia.com

The actual facts about USA women and abortion

image from http://www.abovetopsecret.com

image from http://www.nejm.org

image from http://naralprochoicewashington.tumblr.com

image from http://www.kylelife.com

Deadly Eye Makeup and other “Beauty” “Aids”: STOP USING THESE!

08/28/2014 by Sally Ember, EdD

I know many people are squeamish about our eyes, as I am. I have had many years of allergies (itchy and runny eyes) and now I have “dry” eyes (ironically? relatedly?), which also makes them itchy and runny. Go figure.

I would be a horrible contact lens wearer; luckily, I am far-sighted, so that never came up. I have “baby cataracts,” which means I have to have surgery in about 10 or 15 years. Just the thought of eye-surgery already gives me the willies.

Perhaps it isn’t necessary, but I will tell you, mostly due to my distaste for having anything near or in/on my eyes: I have almost never worn any make-up, especially eye make-up, unless I was in a play. I hate the way make-up feels and it always bothers my eyes, even when it’s “hypoallergenic.” My eyelids are practically invisible with my eyes open, anyway, so lid makeup is a complete waste.

Furthermore, and increasingly more importantly, I am politically and socially against the entire concept of women’s “needing” to change the ways we look to attempt to conform to some random social norms (which keep changing and, once again, are NOT “universal”).

As a feminist, I have had many arguments with others who are unclear on the concept. They say inane things like: “Feminists are supposed to be in support of whatever women want to do.”

Really? Following that line of irrational thought, we would have no uniformity in the Domestic Violence Prevention movement and no mandatory reporting of DV to give “teeth” to anti-abuse laws that made violence against one’s partner a crime, since many women “choose” to stay with abusive partners and refuse to report the violence. We would also be without a whole host of other improvements to women’s lives. Should feminists “support whatever women want to do?” Of course not.

Mindlessly supporting women’s “right” OR “choice” to wear make-up is no different. Most of make-up is not harmful, I suppose, unless the creation of it harmed animals or the wearer happens to be allergic to it. At least, some make-up is not harmful in any physical way.

But what about the types of make-up, particularly eye makeup, that ARE harmful? These culprits can cause infections, irritations, even blindness or death!

Keep reading, then tell me these types of “choices” are what feminists ought to support.

I realize I’m preaching to the choir, here, since many of my followers are feminists, men, and/or don’t wear much/any make-up. So, please SHARE this post so it finds the women/girls who need to read it!

First, we “look” at make-up/alterations for Eyelashes.

EYELASH EXTENSIONS

With and Without Eyelash Extensions. Image from: http://skinclinicny.com

I’ll give you the conclusion, first: DON’T. Or, if you MUST use eyelash extensions (and I can’t imagine who must, but I guess some of you could), please read the entire article (link below).

“The risks of eyelash extensions are not only an allergic reaction to the glue [used to attach the extensions], but erosion of the inner surface of the eyelid,” says Dr. Orly Avitzur, M.D., one of our medical advisors. “And that can cause permanent damage to your eyelashes.”

Eye Infection. Image from: http://unnaturalmakeup.wordpress.com

All right. Suppose I have now convinced you not to “extend” your eyelashes in this way. What about changing their color or trying to give them more “fullness”?

Latisse, which is an FDA-approved treatment for thin lashes, has potential side effects as well, including:

Permanent changes in eye color—turning blue, green, or hazel eyes brown
Permanently darkened eyelids
Hair growth elsewhere on your face, if you’re not careful
Itching, redness
Lower eye pressure, which could potentially mask glaucoma or other eye problems

So, if I have this right, people who use Latisse to give themselves “better” eyelashes may also give themselves hairy cheeks, itchy, red eyes, changes in their iris’ color, and even make worse (by hiding) their actual eye diseases?

Sure, that’s worthwhile. Going out right now to get myself some of that. Gotta be “pretty,” don’t I?

But, how “pretty” are itchy, swollen, darkened eyelids and/or hairy cheeks?

Some make-up must be safe, you claim. You use/you know women who use it all the time with no ill effects. All right.

But, what about doing a serious costs-gains analysis, weighing the potential ill effects and the potential “benefits”: how can you compare impairing your eyes’ health or even the loss of your eyesight with the “benefits” of having a few hours of “looking better”?

Go ahead, ignore me, the research, the warnings: dye your eyelashes, anyway. What harm could it do?

EYELASH DYES

Eyelash dyes are a big beauty don’t. Currently, there are no color additives approved by U.S. Food and Drug Administration for dyeing or tinting eyelashes, and the FDA cautions against doing so. The dyes can cause blindness.

Eyelash/eyelid infection due to make-up. Image from: http://www.beautyglimpse.com

Read the entire article for the list of do’s and don’ts. SHARE!

http://www.shopsmart.org/2014/02/skip-eyelash-extensions-stick-with-mascara.html

What about PERMANENT EYELINER, another way to dye one’s eyelids?

It’s a great idea to get one’s eyeliner inked in permanently, right? Save money, save time: one and done. Until someone goes home crying….

While often cheap, work done by untrained, unlicensed practitioners may require expensive corrections and revisions later. This happens because in order to cut costs, such practitioners use cheap, low quality pigments and do not invest much into acquiring and updating their permanent makeup skills.

Some of the typical problems requiring corrections are odd eyebrow and lip colors, unflattering or asymmetric shapes and pigment migration…. Corrections are a two-step process.

Image of permanent eyeliner fail and info, above, from: http://www.chicagopermanentcosmetics.com

EYELASH MASCARA

“Well,” you say, “I refuse to go out without a little mascara. That can’t be that bad!”

Oh, yes. Mascara CAN be that bad.

About seven years ago. one brand of $160-tubes of mascara was recalled from the market because it was found to cause infections and other problems, many leading to blindness. Did you hear about that? Probably not. http://consumerist.com/2007/11/17/160-mascara-seized-by-fda-because-it-can-cause-blindness/

What about other types of mascara? Since we know expensive doesn’t equal better, now, what to think?

There are still problems with ALL types of mascara. The tubes are hotbeds for bacteria and some of those DO lead to infections and blindness, regardless of how careful the user is. What to do?

Side effects of mascara

“Mascara is used by most women to lengthen their eyelashes, make them appear thicker and to lay emphasis on the eye area. However, its applicants rarely have knowledge on the adverse side effects of mascara. Mascara contains harmful ingredients that affect the users’ lashes and skin. Mercury, bronopol, parabens and benzyl alcohol are just but a few of the harmful ingredients used to manufacture mascara.”

Some of the adverse effects associated with the use of mascara include:
–Mascara may lead to eyesight problems such as blurred vision and blindness
The presence of an ingredient known as pseudomonas aeruginosa is associated with eye blindness in mascara users.
—Occurrence of cancers and breast tumors
Parabens is a preservative for many cosmetic products including mascaras. When mascara is applied, parabens is absorbed into the body. Frequent application leads to large deposits of the parabens in the body. This has been linked to the presence of breast cancers and tumors amongst women.

—Thinning of eyelashes
–As much as mascara makes your eyelashes appear thicker and linger, its chemical composition reacts with the eyelashes to make them thinner. Mascara clogs up the hair follicles making the growth of eyelashes difficult.
They cause irritation to the eye
–Ingredients such as triethanolamine and methylparaben act as irritants to the eyes. This may lead to eye related problems and skin irritations especially around the eyes.
—Loss of eyelashes
–When applied frequently, mascara tends to dry the eyelashes. Mascara is therefore one of the causes for eyelashes falling out.
—Eye infections
Mascara may enter the eye of the applicant during application or thereafter by rubbing the eyes. The presence of these harmful ingredients may lead to eye infections.
–Mascara has been linked to neurotoxicity and infertility.

All above mascara info is from http://www.foodlve.com/food/how-to-make-your-eyelashes-longer-without-mascara-6744385

If you are that committed to altering your appearance or you’re wearing a costume or something, try the safer alternatives listed in the above article.

COLORED CONTACT LENSES

“Fine,” you say, now. “I won’t use mascara, eyelash extenders, eyelash alterations or dye my eyelids. What about colored contact lenses? They have to be all right, don’t they”

Nope. Look what CBS reported last year (2103) after Halloween! “Color[ed] contact lenses for Halloween may carry blindness risk”

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/color-contact-lenses-for-halloween-may-carry-blindness-risk/

CBS reported:

Part of the risk is that people often don’t go to the ophthalmologist or optometrist to make sure that the contacts fit properly. Improper fit can lead to scratches on the cornea, which is the clear dome of tissue above the colored iris portion of the eye. People can also get an ulcer on the cornea, known as a corneal infection. There’s also the risk of getting conjunctivitis, or pink eye, and having decreased vision. It some cases, these problems could lead to blindness.

And the health risks could occur with only one wearing.

“Wearing it for a couple seconds could cause damage,” Dr. Edward Kondrot, an ophthalmologist and the founder of the Healing The Eye & Wellness Center in Dade City, Fla., said to CBSNews.com. “If it’s poorly fit, you could develop a scratch on the cornea, and it becomes an open wound.”

Colored Contacts for Costume Wearers. Image from: http://buycoloredcontacts.blogspot.com

CBS News reporters then warned/recommended: “If you still really want to wear the decorative lenses, the FDA recommended getting an eye exam from a qualified professional and getting a valid prescription. Buy the lenses from a retailer that requires a prescription and take care to follow the directions.”

So, go ahead: have fun with altering your eyes. Just be safe out there!

Bras and Shoes: Breast Cancer, Bunions, Back Strain and “Beauty” Lies

08/20/2014 by Sally Ember, EdD

WARNING: Naked breasts appear in this post, for instructional purposes only.

This post is meant to inform about some aspects of modern women’s (and men’s ) lives in Western nations that need changing. Yes, these are “first-world” problems. But, they ARE problems. If you don’t mind the problems these cause or you don’t have these problems, go read something more fun/useful. Or, pass it on to those who might benefit from reading it!

BRAS, ANTI-PERSPIRANTS and BREAST CANCER

BRAS
I have always hated bras. I personally hate wearing them and almost never do. Even when well-fitted, bras inform me that there is a special place in hell for those who design them. Bras itch, ride up, pinch and nonstop bother me.

I also hate the rationales people make for women’s wearing of bras. As a feminist, I am offended and disgusted by the so-called “reasons” for bras because these are based on modern, industrialized, Puritanically based Western cultural biases that “require” teenage or adult females to cover our nipples, to pretend not to have any. Also, we are told that we are “unprofessional” unless we are complicit in disguising our breasts’ shapes. These misogynistic attitudes are NOT “universal” and need to be eradicated.

However, I could put all that hatred aside and just accept that some women want (or claim they “need”) to wear bras, except for three somewhat newly surfacing facts, based on extensive research over many decades:

1) Bras do not work. Gravity wins. It wins BIGGER when women wear bras: bras CAUSE breasts to sag MORE because wearing bras weakens the pectoral muscles that would ordinarily work and strengthen to hold up one’s breasts over a lifetime. With few exceptions, NO WOMEN should wear bras just to “hold them up.” Those whose breasts hurt due to hormonal changes and jiggling makes the pain worse: sure, wear bras. Those with extremely large breasts claim that wearing bras helps “carry” them, HOWEVER: the BRAS cause more shoulder and back pain than their breasts.

Jean-Denis Rouillon, a professor at University of Besançon in France, authored a study stating that women are better off not wearing bras. They are scientifically unnecessary, and, in fact, could be hazardous to breast health, leading to sagging breasts and increased back pain….”Medically, physiologically, anatomically — breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity,” Rouillon told France Info radio. “On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra.”
http://www.medicaldaily.com/bras-make-breasts-saggier-french-doctor-says-women-better-bra-less-244995
2) Bras increase the risk of breast cancer.
The Susan G. Komen Foundation and the American Cancer Society (ACS) are the main organizations who refuse to properly present summaries and warnings derived from the amassing research that shows a link between increased incidences (“Risk”) of breast cancer the wearing of bras, especially tight ones, for 12 or more hours per day, particularly all night.

…at least five research studies have shown that there IS a strong connection between breast cancer and bra wearing for many hours per day.
http://www.inquisitr.com/1202191/your-bra-may-be-killing-you-scientists-call-for-boycott-of-komen/

Lymphatic Systems of Breasts: image from healthieralternatives.wordpress.com
3) Underwire Bras, in particular, cause health problems.
The pressure points that underwire bras rest on are critically important, according to Eastern medical knowledge, to the functioning of major systems in the body. However, constant metallic pressure on these points is contra-indicated in all women and can cause a myriad of health problems over time.

The UnderWires in the UnderWire Bra fall directly onto two very important NeuroLymphatic Reflexes. The one under the right breast goes to the Liver and Gall Bladder. The one under the left breast goes to the Stomach….If a woman keeps the metal UnderWires on top of those reflex points, over time that WILL mess up the functioning of the associated circuits: Liver, Gall Bladder, and Stomach. Bottom Line: It will likely make her sick, slowly and quietly.
http://www.relfe.com/wp/health/dangers-underwire-bras/

If those three information points do not convince you to stop “supporting” bra-wearing and worse, if you are still committed to wearing bras yourself, that is illogical. Check out this infographic and OTHER problems caused by ill-fitting bras:

% of Women Having Problems Due to Ill-Fitting Bras: image from http://www.bariatriccookery.com

Almost half the women who wear bras that are ill-fitting (which, according to other research, would include MOST women), suffer skin rashes. Another 35% have shoulder pain. Are you one of these women?

If you are that irrational about bras, you might want to discontinue reading the rest of this post, because things are going to go from bad to worse for you.

ANTI-PERSPIRANTS
(not Deodorants, which merely mask smells)
are those products that attempt to “dry up” or prevent the armpits from sweating. What about the causal connections between anti-perspirants and breast cancer? After much “debate” and “debunking” of the “myth” of this connection by the research FUNDED BY THE COMPANIES THAT MAKE ANTI-PERSPIRANTS in the USA, we finally have unbiased research results from the UK showing several causal links between the key ingredients in anti-perspirants and DNA changes and between the lymphatic blockages intentionally caused by these products that lead to increased incidences of breast cancer in both men and women.

Britain has one of the highest rates of breast cancer in the world and every year almost 13,000 British women die from it. Britons are also among the biggest users of antiperspirant deodorants, getting through £300 million worth of bottles each year. The rising incidence of breast cancer in men may also suggest a connection. Breast cancer in men has doubled in the past three decades to 300 cases per year – a time frame that coincides with the increasing use of underarm products by men.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-185071/How-safe-antiperspirant.html

Guess what gets the attention of researchers, health commissioners and the public? when the problems affect MEN. Sigh.

SHOES

Enough about breast cancer? Depressed, yet?

Let’s talk about shoes. I do not understand some women’s obsessions with shoes. I really don’t. But, obsessed or not, most of us wear shoes most of the time.

How well do our shoes serve us? Do they support our best posture, provide safety from h

Luckily for me (!?!) I was in a serious car accident my senior year of high school that caused me to have life-long problems with my right leg. This prevented me from ever getting into wearing “high” heels, or ANY heels, for that matter, for more than about 30 minutes per… year. I say “luckily” because both my mother and her mother had/have bunions and hammertoes. So far, I do not.

I also have many back problems and hip issues from other injuries that continue to plague me and keep me wearing the most supportive, comfortable shoes I can afford.

What about you? Do you go for fashion at the expense of your comfort or health? I hope you don’t.

If you do, read on and perhaps I and the research can change your mind.

Hammertoes: image from http://www.kyforward.com

Bunions, Backstrain and Hammertoes

Because of her own problems with shoes and foot health, Ivey Allison wrote a great post which I recommend you read in its entirety. Here is a salient quote, based on her research:

…almost every shoe on the market, flat or heeled, has a toe box design that is too small and tapered to allow the foot to be properly aligned. The result? Foot deformity — and painful bunions….Every single pair of shoes you own is likely deforming your foot. Permanently.
http://www.xojane.com/healthy/bunion-care-treatment-prevention

The Huffington Post‘s Rebecca Adams & Ellie Krupnick did some great research and wrote summaries of their findings in last October’s post on what shoes are the worst offenders, causing bunions, hammertoes, and back strain, among other problems (not to mention costing ridiculous amounts of money!). here is a sample and the link to the full post:

STILETTOS
Wearing heels shifts your weight to the balls of your feet, which puts pressure on your foot. This also creates a balance problem: It forces your knees and hips forward, hurting your back and legs. Wearing these shoes can cause: hyperextension, ankle sprains, midfoot fractures, neuromas (benign nerve tumors), pinched nerves, bunions and hammertoes.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/09/shoes-worst-for-feet_n_4069370.html

They also summarized the impact and effects of wearing Platform Wedges; Converse-style Sneakers; High-Heeled, Rain or Thigh-High Boots; Ballet Flats; and, Flip-Flops.

Bunion: image from my.clevelandclinic.org

The worst offenders? I guess it depends what you think are worse. Each shoe type they mentioned came with its own list of problems, such as:

mold, fungus, bacteria, wart viruses and blisters;
inflammation, tendonitis, heel pain, strains, fractures and external injuries (e.g. stepping on a nail);
chronic stress injuries, particularly to the heel;
inflammation, tendonitis, heel pain, strains and stress fractures;
inflammation, tendonitis, heel pain, strains, stress fractures and external injuries (e.g. stepping on a nail);
hyperextension, midfoot fractures, neuromas (benign nerve tumors), pinched nerves, bunions and hammertoes;
hyperextension, bunions and hammertoes;
hyperextension, ankle sprains, midfoot fractures,
neuromas (benign nerve tumors), pinched nerves, bunions and hammertoes.

Choose which group of symptoms you’re willing to acquire and then merrily (warily) go shoe shopping.

Or, buy better-fitting, healthier, more comfortable shoes.

image from mostcomfortableshoesguide.net

Why posting about fruit is insulting to women: DO NOT PARTICIPATE in this year’s “Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign”

06/27/2014 by Sally Ember, EdD

A feminist’s analysis of this year’s “BREAST CANCER AWARENESS campaign”: the reasons that I’m not participating and I’m telling all.

Call me a “spoilsport,” if it makes you feel better. I am frustrated and unwilling to “go along” with this year’s “Breast Cancer Awareness” Facebook “campaign” (and anywhere else it’s trying to occur) for these reasons:

1) Men also get breast cancer. They usually die from it sooner and more often precisely because there is very little “awareness” about males’ getting breast cancer;

image from takboprintipe.wordpress.com

2) A “cuteness” factor of a zillion does NOTHING to help fence-sitters, if there even are any: how could there be, when 1 in 4 women gets breast cancer? Who could be “unaware” of it mystifies me;

from http://www.cancer.org, “Estimated New Cancer Cases* in the US in 2013. Estimated New Cancer Cases* in the US in 2013. Cancer Incidence Rates* by Sex, US, 1975-2009”

3) Waste of time, networking, and energy. I see nothing in any of these “campaign” solicitations that has a call to action, a place to donate for cure research, or ANYTHING but cuteness and “don’t tell the men.”

All this, for what?

image from gerson.org

4) BREAST CANCER IS NOT SEXY, just because it afflicts one’s breasts. This year, it’s fruits. Each fruit is supposed to signify the poster’s MARITAL or RELATIONSHIP status. As if the entire campaign weren’t insulting enough to the intelligence of adult women, THIS is the type of device it uses every year. One year, it was some lame statement that was supposed to indicate unusual places that we like to have sex, but really was about where we put our PURSES (I don’t even carry a purse 90% of the time; bad for my back and shoulder). Another year (see above), our bra color or underwear color or other such nonsense.

It’s all supposed to be pseudo-titillating and sexual, which is another gripe I have.

So, I’m blowing its cover, here. Tough rocks, cutesy women.

I’ve had too many friends and relatives DIE of this horrible disease to find it at all cute or funny, anyway.

Here is what “feminism” actually means.

With this information in front of you, how could you NOT be a feminist? You can have fun; some things can be cute. I have an excellent sense of humor. But some situations require serious ACTION.

Here is the disclosure/invitation post:

“Hi Ladies , so here it is that time of year again when we try to raise awareness of breast cancer through a game. It’s very easy and I would like all of you to participate. Two years ago we had to write the color of our underwear on our wall. Men wondered for days what was going on with the random colors on our walls. This year we make references to our love life status as a flavor. Do not answer this message, just post your word on your wall AND send this message privately to all the girls on your friends list. Blueberry is for single, Pineapple is for it’s complicated, Raspberry is for I don’t want to commit, Apple is engaged, Cherry is in a relationship, Banana is married, Avocado is I’m the better half, Strawberry is can’t find Mr.Right, Lemon is I want to be single, Raisin is I want to get married to my partner. Last time the underwear game was mentioned on TV, let’s see if we can get there with this one. Copy and paste this message into a new message and send it to your friends, then update your status with your answer. DON’T TELL THE GUYS.”
[I couldn’t stand all the misspelled “it’s,” so those I fixed. The rest I left “as is.” Pathetic, for a piece of writing; another gripe.]

HORRIBLE. Don’t do this inane “campaign.”

SPREAD THE WORD about breast cancer and give to fund the cures: http://www.bcrfcure.org/