It Starts at Four: On Consent and Rape Culture

As a mother of an amazing feminist son who was also a ring-bearer at age 4 (and he HATED it), I applaud this piece and your parenting ideas. I LOVE this piece. Sharing. Wishing everyone who had sons (and daughters) would read it and take parenting classes from you.

Best to you and your family,


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My son was the ringbearer in my brother’s wedding this weekend.  The flower girl was, I think, the daughter of one of the bride’s cousins.  To say they hit it off was probably a bit of an understatement; they were pretty close to inseparable at the bridal shower a few weeks ago and not much changed at the rehearsal or the wedding.  I’d post a picture of the two of them, but I’m not about to post a picture of somebody else’s kid without her permission and plus I plan on using the word rape a lot in this piece and I don’t really feel like having my son’s photo associated with that in Google.

Here’s the thing.  Everybody at the wedding was doing that heteronormative thing that people do when two little kids click and oohing and aahing about oh look at his girlfriend and all that nonsense all…

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