Hi,
I have a new book trailer for This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series, which released via Smashwords in December, 2013. Would you like to feature it/share it/view it some time?
or
http://animoto.com/play/WAfmAzgWC5D9OVfDMQbzDA
or embed with:
Thanks!
Best to you,
Sally
More from a mutual friend who attended our friend, Cynthia Toth, as she died last week. Thank you, Candy, for your heartfelt service and sharing. You are both inspirations to us all.
I sat on a bench outside her house, staring at the liquid gray sea that was tightly framed by heavy, dark clouds. It looked cold and lonely. Gulls flew overhead, their plaintive cries echoing the sorrow in my heart. My friend had passed away the day before. It all felt wrong and it also felt perfect. I began to sob. Emotions that had been carefully tucked away for a week now demanded expression. I felt the ripping pain of loss and grief because I love her and will miss her, as will so many others whose lives she so lovingly touched. I also rejoiced because I was deeply moved and inspired by how graciously she lived and how auspiciously she died. I thought… she has shown us how to do this. Pay heed.
She embodied the compassionate teachings of the Buddha throughout her life—in her work and in her relationships. Even as…
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Stellar Review by David ben Efraim for This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series: “The End of Humankind’s Loneliness”
Excerpts and link to full review, below.
“From the moment I opened the book I felt that it was indeed a pure science-fiction novel; the author hits the nail on the head with the atmosphere she created, blending elements of comedy, mystery and surrealism together to give you, the reader, an unshakable desire to learn more about the aliens and the worlds they come from.”
“I found the story itself to be one of the most immersive and original ones I have read recently. Amongst the sea of science fiction novel clones, there is This Changes Everything, a book in which old ideas are taken in completely new directions (such as the whole intergalactic committee actually trying to help the humans), and new ideas are spawned by the dozens.”
“This Changes Everything is certainly much more than what I expected from it, presenting us an enthralling and original storyline set in a majestic and extremely-detailed world, populated by many characters that will stay with you once the last pages are closed. I wholeheartedly recommend the book to science-fiction fans, especially the ones who prefer their literature to explore ideas and concepts through words rather than actions.”
http://quick-book-review.blogspot.com/2014/01/this-changes-everything-volume-one-by-sally-ember.html
Stellar Review by David ben Efraim for This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series: “The End of Humankind’s Loneliness”
Excerpts and link to full review, below.
“From the moment I opened the book I felt that it was indeed a pure science-fiction novel; the author hits the nail on the head with the atmosphere she created, blending elements of comedy, mystery and surrealism together to give you, the reader, an unshakable desire to learn more about the aliens and the worlds they come from.”
“I found the story itself to be one of the most immersive and original ones I have read recently. Amongst the sea of science fiction novel clones, there is This Changes Everything, a book in which old ideas are taken in completely new directions (such as the whole intergalactic committee actually trying to help the humans), and new ideas are spawned by the dozens.”
“This Changes Everything is certainly much more than what I expected from it, presenting us an enthralling and original storyline set in a majestic and extremely-detailed world, populated by many characters that will stay with you once the last pages are closed. I wholeheartedly recommend the book to science-fiction fans, especially the ones who prefer their literature to explore ideas and concepts through words rather than actions.”
http://quick-book-review.blogspot.com/2014/01/this-changes-everything-volume-one-by-sally-ember.html
Surprisingly glowing review by Carrie Shepherd for This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series, who commented: “To be honest, I didn’t like it at first but kept on reading and then got that ‘Aha!’ moment and the next thing I knew I was on the final page. I very definitely am interested to see how the second in the series plays out.”
Excerpts and link to full review, below.
“The concepts that the author discusses certainly align with some of my own beliefs and, perhaps, this is what kept me turning the pages to see the direction in which the story would lead. By page 36, I was glad that I did. It was around this time that I started enjoying the spin the author put on past events, giving them flavor that played well into her version of the purposes behind past alien encounters.”
“I will say that very rarely do I finish a 248 page novel in the course of two days and that, even more importantly, I’m curious to see where the author takes this series in the next installment. This speaks volumes as to Ms. Ember’s writing skills and ability to keep her readers interested in her content.”
http://authortoauthorbookreviews.blogspot.com/
To read the article go to
Astronomers Capture The First Image Of The Mysterious Web That Connects All Galaxies In The Universe
http://redicecreations.com/article.php?id=28583
Meditation is good for your body, your emotions, your work, your mind, your relationships and your soul. DO IT!
*If you are suffering from any of the above listed conditions, always consult your medical practitioner prior to starting any form of meditation.
I decided about four months ago that even though I am excited about getting readers and fans for The Spanners Series, I am so busy writing, revising, marketing and trying to find a job/having a job and a life that I do not have much time to explain, interact or engage with you. My #Pinterest Boards are for YOU, my #readers and #fans!
Please visit, follow, enjoy, and pin on the open Boards. I now have 75 followers and I follow 295 Boards (or try to). I look forward to hearing what you have to say. Come back here and comment!
Here is a tour of my Boards, to date:
Board #1: “Writers I love: Authors who influence and inspire Me” http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember/writers-i-love/
Board #2: “The Spanners Series includes….Books, songs, musicals, poetry, celebrities, events featured or mentioned in The Spanners Series sci-fi novels, starting with This Changes Everything, Volume I”
http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember/the-spanners-series-includes/
Board #3: “Space Shots I like: NASA, Hubble, Spitzer and other telescopes and photographers post space shots I like, so I share. Captions are NOT astronomical terminology (mostly). Just for fun.”
http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember/space-shots-i-like/
Board #4: “Inspirations for the Earth locations in The Spanners Series: Towns, cities, topographies, places Clara Branon and other characters live and go.”
Board #5: “Resonating Pins: Others’ Pins I resonate with and want to share”
http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember/resonating-pins/
Board #6: “Flora & Fauna that amaze me: Laugh, gasp, sigh, smile, weep with wonder”
http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember/flora-fauna-that-amaze-me/
Board #7: “TV Shows and Movies I actually like: My son says most of what I like are ‘all the same.’ You decide!”
http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember/tv-shows-and-movies-i-actually-like/
Board #8: “Music of The Spanners Series: Songs, lyrics, performances that are mentioned or depict events/characters/relationships in this sci-fi series. Thanks for all composers and artist!”
http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember/music-of-the-spanners-series/
Board #9: “My Blog Posts: Links and images for each Blog post at my website blogs on WordPress and Tumblr (and echoed at Rebel Mouse and Goodreads)”
http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember/my-blog-posts/
Board #10: “Artists, Musicians, Groups I Endorse and Support:
Talented, worthwhile people and groups to explore and support”
http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember/artists-musicians-groups-i-endorse-and-support/
I also participate/pin to these collective Boards started by other Pinterest folks:
“Books that changed my life: As avid readers I (Philip Newey) am inviting you to pin those books that have meant the most to you over the years, with perhaps a word or two about why. Happy choosing! (Note: self-promotions will be deleted)”
http://www.pinterest.com/philipnewey/books-that-changed-my-life/
“Book Billboard ([Philip Newey asks authors to] Advertise your books here): FREE ADVERTISING! I invite you to add links to your own books here. In return, consider purchasing one of mine. (Note: repeat posts will be deleted)”
http://www.pinterest.com/philipnewey/book-billboard-advertise-your-books-here/
“World of Indie Writers: Welcome to the World of Indie Writers. (Scribe77 asks us to) Pin anything and everything relating to indie books and their authors. All genres welcome.”
http://www.pinterest.com/scribe77/world-of-indie-writers/
“Authors and Book Lovers: Where Independent Authors and their friends can post their books. (MerridM asks) Please, no nudity. Do not post your work more than once. Only book/author/reader related pictures. Thank you.”
http://www.pinterest.com/merridm/authors-and-book-lovers/
“Where do you get your ideas?” is the most-asked question of creative people. I’ve been paying attention to my own #writing process since people started asking me that more often. I now know I have three distinct phases for my creative process, but they are not entirely linear in sequence.
Without even consciously knowing I am in it, I am often in the incubation period, phase one for all creative endeavors. This assumes ground zero is pre-phase one, the part in which I determine I’m open to creating and what I want to create, in a general way.
For me, the incubation period is highly receptive. I am like a sponge; I am seemingly almost indiscriminate in my voracious appetite for information, as in Short Circuit‘s Johnny Five’s demands for “more input.”
Phase one includes: getting cognitive but silent input from reading fiction and nonfiction books and magazine or ‘zine articles and blog posts; visual/emotional/audio content input from watching films/TV, TED talks and videos via Facebook, youtube, Google+, blogs and other sources; musical inspiration gleaned from radio, Spotify and other online music players, playing piano, singing; conversing with friends, family, strangers and acquaintances. All of this sparks thousands of ideas.
Next comes the internal percolating, still incubation, from all input and other connections being made. Percolating occurs while: dreaming, meditating, thinking, contemplating, swimming, walking, driving. I love this part: although most of it is invisible, it is palpable. I feel buzzed: re-routed, re-programmed, inspired, electrified. I often feel as if I am in a remembering or retrieval mode, recalling and almost hearing or seeing what I’m about to write as if it’s already written.
Inevitably, I get woken up from sleep or can’t fall asleep because these first gems of ideas are starting to surface and I MUST write them down. I hear them narrated or see them in paragraphs. I make lists, gather URLs and quotes, write down remembered dreams and conversations, make mini-outlines, generate summaries and plot intentions, describe characters and do many other cultivating things with the seeds already planted.
I have to move quickly; these deliveries are clear and sharp at first, but the longer I wait or the longer it takes to put them into form, the weaker the connection or recollection gets. This phase is very exciting but also quite frustrating. I feel as if I only get to write down or collect about half of what I receive.
I am now in phase two: full writing mode. I’m generating and composing my ideas into text. Organizing, whittling, deciding, creating connections are now dominant. Characters, plots, dialog, events, circumstances, facts and conflicts all converge in seemingly random and chaotic ways until I can sift through and wrest them into some order. It feels as if I’m gathering spiderwebs, tantalizing aromas and musical notes and transforming them into particular words, coherent paragraphs, comprehensible stories.
Once I start writing them down as lists or collect ideas into documents and folders for later use, I am compelled to follow clues, leads, research trails. These lead to more input and ideas, and those lead to further incubations, more percolating, etc.
These first two phases loop many times until the ideas erupt from me, birthed into existence as writing. I hate to be interrupted when I’m on a trail.
However, I love and crave, even make my own interruptions in the next part, the testing period of writing. I reach out to people to talk things out, hear ideas or dialogue aloud for the first time, getting first bounce-back reactions and more ideas from these interactions. I call certain people many times: my son, my mom, my sisters, a niece, some friends. I post questions and comments online and get responses from strangers/acquaintances. Suggestions, critiques, future-use ideas all welcomed, here.
Eventually, the input receiving slows down and the output starts to take precedence. I spend more time writing than researching. This is the highest output part of the process, generating most of the writing. Much of what I generate may not get used, or not used for this immediate project, but I keep it all.
I have dozens of drafts, pieces, drafts of chapters and whole volumes for The Spanners Series in folders that may be mined for future Volumes if not used for the one I’m currently writing. I leave myself gifts and find them later. When I was ready to write Volume II, I was shocked to discover that I had already written large chunks of it while writing Volume I and didn’t even remember having done so much writing for that Volume!
Phase three involves combining, rewriting, generating, refining, selecting, drafting and completing the work. I spend more time revising than creating, which means I’m in the third phase. I do get new ideas and do more research during this final phase, in many of the same ways, but the proportions reverse from the earlier phases.
Some people call these three phases Prewriting, Writing, Revising. Works for me.
Steven Johnson’s TED talk from 2010: Where good ideas come from, in which he ends with “Chance favors the connected mind,” describes a lot of what I experience. I love that quote.
http://www.ted.com/talks/steven_johnson_where_good_ideas_come_from.html
Good luck with your writing!
Of course any thinking person who studied Buddhism would see the correlations and similarities between Buddhist science, thought, philosophy and precepts to physics, astronomy, psychology, sociology and many other disciplines!
Albert Einstein was born on March 14, 1879 and is well-known for his scientific research in modern physics. Famous for his theory of relativity, much of his exceptional work is still considered a benchmark in the modern world of quantum science.
Across Facebook and Twitter I always see philosophical and even spiritual quotes from Einstein that not only portrayed him as a scientist but also as an awakened being. Some of his writing seems Buddhist in nature. A German, Jewish scientist who found his True Nature? Publically, he called himself an agnostic, while dissociating himself from the label of atheist. Cleary he was not swayed by religious dogma, but he did see some amazing connections with instinctual consciousness and the Universe – these quotes below may reflect some of this energy and wisdom:
“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of…
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Thanks, Samuel Alexander, for a thoughtful peek into This Changes Everything, even though you only read 100 pages (so far)! (DNF = Did Not Finish, so no rating)
http://readingismydrug.blogspot.com/2014/01/this-changes-everything-volume-1.html
Thanks, OkieBuddhist! This relates exactly to the portion of my miniretreat in which I am studying Dzogchen practices (t’hregchod and t’hodgal) and enhances my understanding well. May all beings benefit.
READ THEM NOW, WATCH THEM LATER: SCIENCE FICTION, FANTASY AND HORROR ADAPTATION WATCH by John DeNardo on January 15, 2014 | Posted in Science Fiction and Fantasy
John DeNardo is the editor of SF Signal, a Hugo Award-winning group science-fiction and fantasy blog featuring news, reviews and interviews. You can follow him on Twitter as @sfsignal.
Read these books, then go see this year’s film adaptations:
Divergent by Veronica Roth
Wool by Hugh Howey
Beta by Rachel Cohn
More about each here, including DeNardo’s summaries, opinions and links:
https://www.kirkusreviews.com/features/read-them-now-watch-them-later-science-fiction-2/
Another 5-Star Review! for This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series.
Review and comments from Sandra Love, https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7339622.Sandra_Love:
“Hello I really love this book. It was intriguing and well-written.”
She gives it “5 Wonderful Stars” and writes:
“First, I received a copy of this book exchange for an honest review.
“I really did enjoy this book I thought it was intriguing, brilliant and it held my interest from page 1 until the last word. I love reading about Clara Branon, who was visited by aliens one night, and wow it got very exciting. I truly believe in aliens and other worlds so this book was a book I would have read anyways. The details that Sally put into this book were amazing, and if I could have given her more stars, I would have.
“If you like sci-fi, fantasy and or aliens this is the book for you. I do recommend this book and I hope you try it because you won’t be disappointed.
“Well done, Sally! I look forward to your future books!!”
Buy links, excerpts and more: http://www.sallyember.com
I love reading about kindness, courage and compassion in action. Thanks for posting! I’m reposting!
![Reddit user, ‘Hannernanner’, shared the photo above and wrote; “Actually, I am in law enforcement. There were many dogs at this residence that were removed by animal control, but considering his disability and how full our animal stays, I knew he wouldn’t last long. So I took him to the vets… They cleaned him up- tested him for parvo and distemper, gave him his shots, wormed him and all… I brought him home, hes happy and I found a home for him w[ith] a friend who can better care for him and devote more time to his disability.”](http://kindnessblogdotcom1.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/svexaxr.png)
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We #Buddhists contemplate, study, meditate on and live with #impermanence more than non-Buddhists, for the most part. We do not, therefore, feel as much surprise, shock, dismay, or indignation when relationships end, jobs evaporate, housing changes, animals and people die: that is the nature of impermanence, which we all live with every day. Mortality in daily life is commonplace.
However, that doesn’t mean we do not mourn. We feel sad, we grieve, we suffer personal or professional losses, same as anyone. We’re just not surprised. We don’t ask “why me?” or “why her?”
I lost another long-time friend, Cynthia Toth, a former housemate who is a Buddhist vajra sister this week. I say “another” because she is not the first and she will not be the last. But, she is my age. Somehow, when someone dies who is a peer, it feels “closer to home” in every way. Also, we had lived together in a Buddhist community household for almost a year, which literally brings this loss closer to my own home.
Cyn had been suffering from the aftereffects of ovarian cancer for several years and it actually surprised me that she lived as long as she did. Most with that diagnosis do not survive that long nor live as well as she did for the years they do have left. I admire Cynthia’s courage, applaud her support network and health care providers, and am glad she had that “extra” time because I know she used it well, in service and kindness to others.
This post is not an obituary for her (I am not qualified nor moved to write one), nor even an homage. More, I want to recognize our commonality: everyone dies. One way or another, “early” or after a long life, we all leave our physical bodies.
I have come close to death many times, due to accidents, illness and surgeries. At some point, that closeness will veer over the line into actuality and I, too, will die. Since I am almost 60, no one can say that I would have died “young,” regardless of when I die from now on. But, the older one gets, the “younger” every decade seems or sounds.
When we’re teenagers, being in one’s twenties seems “old” and anyone over forty seems “elderly.” Once in our twenties, we revise that to include people in their forties seeming “middle-aged” and those over sixty seeming “elderly.”
Now, sometimes people in their eighties don’t seem so old to me; dying in one’s nineties can seem “too soon” in some cases. When is anyone “ready” to die if they’re not in pain, not suffering, not alone? Even those who do suffer hang on, as if death were a consequence to be avoided.
The language we use to talk about one’s journey to death is so inappropriate, from my perspective: people talk about the dead person having “lost the battle” when death comes from cancer or other illness; many say a person has been “robbed” or had a life that has been “cut short” when the person was murdered or died from an accident. Even when someone dies of “old age” many talk about how we “lost them too soon,” as if remaining alive well into one’s 90s means we’re “found.” People talk about “cheating death,” “escaping death,” and mortality rates.
My favorite is the epidemiologist who tells us that the incidence of death has increased or decreased due to lifestyle or medicinal interventions or changes, ignoring the fact that everyone dies, which makes the incidence of death 100%, for everyone.
I am not hard-hearted: I cried when I learned of Cynthia’s death….and Russell’s and Jaye’s and Joan’s and Mary’s and Bob’s and Susan’s and Martha’s and Rinpoche’s and my father’s and my grandparents’ and Marcia’s and and and and so many others. I miss them. I wish some of them hadn’t died “so soon,” but I know some of them were suffering, which made their deaths a relief.
I cry, but I am not shocked or surprised. I celebrate their lives and am glad to have known them.
Thank you, Cynthia, for being in my life for a few years and all the ways you were of benefit to so many. I wish you well in your journey to your next incarnation. Maybe we’ll get together again some time.
Thanks, Candace Palmo, for posting this photo of Cynthia from your travels last year. Cynthia is on the left.
Thanks, Visitors/Viewers and especially 52 followers from 53 countries for connecting with my blog during its first 5 months of living in the virtual world!
Hope to see even more visitors and followers in 2014. Also, looking for Guest Bloggers at least twice/month. Contact me: sallyember@yahoo.com for details. Best to you all!
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.
Click here to see the complete report.
I do not have good #karma with spiritual teachers. I must start with that understanding, as a #Buddhist who does believe in karma. However, that recognition does not absolve the #spiritual #teachers who have wronged me.
I have had several teachers relate to me from their own psychological troubles (reliving their family histories) or who believed and then acted inappropriately and unfairly on the basis of unsubstantiated and inaccurate lies or rumors about their students (including, but not limited to me). These teachers are human, yes, but they are established (sometimes self-established) in significant roles of power and authority. I expected better. I needed them to be better.
Let’s be clear: the power in these types of relationships is held by the teachers (spiritual or otherwise), not the students. Just as: parents have the power and children do not; bosses hold power, employees do not (unless they unionize…); therapists wield power, patients do not (until they’re ready to terminate therapy); clergy retain power, parishioners do not.
While it may be true that we in the underling role “give” or cede that power to those “above” us, more typically, the power differential is institutionally installed and our acquiescence required. Or, these power dynamics are emotionally unavoidable and we all succumb. In any case, the power lies with the “upper” level role inhabitants, not the “lower.”
What happens, what has already happened, when “good” teachers go “bad”? Sexual impropriety, financial greed and theft, many types of favoritism and other painful outcomes for students in the spiritual community of these wrong-headed teachers have occurred when these teachers abused their power. Most abuses have become exposed and even well-documented, eventually, but many remained hidden by students and teachers alike for far too long, to everyone’s detriment.
I’m not writing today about the boldest, most overt abuses. I want to focus on my experiences of some of the more subtle kinds of problems between teachers and students, caused chiefly by the teachers. These #counter-transference dynamics have occurred all too often. The results? Destruction of the delicate balance that generated good will, trust and faith, ruining the community cohesion and causing unhealed and unforgivable schisms, to the point of permanent alienation between me and those teachers and the rest of their students.
Contributing factors: I am the same age or older than most of my spiritual teachers. I am a parent of an adult child, now, and a very strong personality in my own right. I am outgoing, intelligent, assertive, strong-minded and opinionated. I am courageous and able to speak up to “authority” in ways most adults are not. I am an experienced teacher and leader, myself. Many see me as competition or posing some kind of threat even when I do not present any such danger, having no motivation to be that way with them.
What types of responses do my traits evoke? My relationships with spiritual teachers and fellow students start positively enough. Early on, teacher and students begin to rely heavily on me for my organizational or leadership skills, my experience, my willingness to serve. They flatter, “support,” defer to me, giving me more and more responsibility, visibility, community roles.
Then, the negativity sets in, first among the students. I become the target of others’ envy or grudging admiration in public and private sniping. Peer conflicts like these I am used to but do not much like. Unpleasant but commonplace, I weather these minor storms. These skirmishes are not the difficulties. In fact, they are to be expected. Furthermore, we are taught to honor our sangha members and continue to ask forgiveness for our own minds’ foibles. We aim to see our ego-clinging as the source of any interpersonal difficulties: “Drive all blames into one.”
When teachers raise their voices at students in the Buddhist tradition, students are supposed to believe their teachers are expressing compassionate, enlightened wrath to help us with reducing pride and attachment. When teachers ignore us, we’re supposed to see our inner pique as a sign of our tenacious ego-clinging. When a teacher criticizes or praises a student, we’re supposed to see those actions as equal, not to care which is happening, not favor one experience over the other, cultivating the attitude of all experiences, all phenomena as “all one taste.”
Sometimes, those are the ways teachers operate. That fidelity to tradition can be excellent for students’ learning and spiritual growth. Students can thrive and develop our practices under these circumstances; students have been doing so for thousands of years.
Sometimes, unfortunately, teachers are just screwed up people with personal issues that they’re working out unconsciously, complete with seductions, anger and power plays, on us students. These behaviors are not acceptable.
The problems begin each time for me when my teachers succumb to counter-transference, unconsciously confusing me with their parents or other adults from their childhood, the people with whom they had/have troubled relationships and concomitant unresolved issues. Just my presence in their lives triggers old resentments, fears, angers and hostilities. They begin to publicly lash out, threaten and accuse me, yell at or blame me unfairly, or they ignore me completely.
All of their inner insecurities, cowardice and inadequacies arise, eventually to engulf them. They blame me.
Because Buddhism focuses upon annihilation of the ego, techniques such as those listed above are often utilized for reducing one’s pride, loosening attachment to status or positions of power. We students are taught to continue to hold our teachers with “pure view,” seeing them as embodiments of enlightenment no matter what they say or do. We are supposed to strive to have unblemished and complete faith in our teachers, to trust them unflinchingly, regardless of their outward displays.
We are also, however, supposed to utilize discernment and good judgment. We are not asked to nor should we abdicate our own adult responsibility just because of the time-honored model of spirituality we subscribe to and believe in and how well it usually works. The model works; the people do not, always.
Even on the rare occasions when I’ve had the chance to discuss these interpersonal problems with the offending teachers and they understood what was happening, they chose not to attempt to work on this, not to enter therapy or try other methods to end the counter-transference. They chose, instead, to limit or even cut off contact with me.
These are not deployments of compassionate, enlightened wrath, but rather, the actions of confused individuals who are exhibiting mean-spirited, unkind, disrespectful mistreatment.
I know; I know: these decisions run in opposition to the very teachings they profess to offer. You don’t need to tell me that!
It is devastating to a community and each individual student suffers enormously when a teacher goes “off the rails,” as we’ve seen. Personally, I can attest to the pain, sorrow, disappointment and disgust I experience each time I witness or am the target of such failures in our teachers.
Being the target of a teacher’s counter-transference robs the student of a chance to have an authentic relationship of any kind with that teacher because the student is not able to be seen clearly by that teacher. The filtering creates a haze of confusion that the teacher puts between him/her and that student which prevents the actual character, words or behaviors of that student from being given untainted attention or fair value.
The ones selected to be lovers of those teachers actually suffer just as much as those, like me, who are blamed and vilified. None of us is seen as ourselves. None of us has a “good” teacher to rely upon; that teacher has checked out.
I never had a chance with some teachers to be seen as me, to be treated fairly and respectfully. Instead, I was viewed with negativity, deemed to be “irritating” or “difficult,” cast out or forced to leave to escape this treatment.
Yes, by the time this happened for the fourth time, I conceded that this is my karma. However, I don’t have to like it. I am saddened, isolated, hurt and frustrated each time. It doesn’t get easier, just more familiar.
There is no easy or, sometimes, any solution, short of wishing/praying that the offending teacher will get some therapy and deal with their issues more thoroughly, hoping they will get their mother’s or father’s face off mine. So far, this has not been the trajectory of these ruined relationships: few apologies and no repairs have occurred. Broken has stayed broken.
Each time, I hope (but do not much believe) my/our karma will change. I am a skeptical optimist.
What are the odds that THIS teacher, THIS time, will deal with his/her stuff and become the teacher I need and want him/her to become?
Not so good. I wouldn’t bet on it. I’ll just keep practicing and put my faith in the teachings, not the teachers.
Let me know when you find a confident one. I’ll give him/her a try.
For more information: <a href="http://goo.gl/tKUCoz" Relating to a Spiritual Teacher: Building a Healthy Relationship Originally published as Berzin, Alexander. Relating to a Spiritual Teacher: Building a Healthy Relationship. Ithaca, Snow Lion, 2000; Reprint: Wise Teacher, Wise Student: Tibetan Approaches to a Healthy Relationship. Ithaca: Snow Lion, 2010title=”Relating to a Spiritual Teacher” target=”_blank”>http://goo.gl/tKUCoz
This post includes a link to Year In Review (Part II) from Cheryl of Cheryl’s Mewsings, who wrote:
“As promised, I have another Year in Review post up. This one is at SF [Sci-Fi] Signal. I actually wrote it before the Aqueduct Press one, but the Signal guys, for whatever reason, delayed putting up the Mind Meld until now.
“Were I doing it now, I would assure you that Elizabeth Knox’s Wake is indeed wonderful, as is her Mortal Fire. Rhapsody of Blood: Reflections by Roz Kaveney and Blood Oranges by Kathleen Tierney (Caitlín R. Kiernan) are great fun, too.
“So many books, so many reviews I do not have time to write.”
Below is the link to Cheryl Morgan • Jim C. Hines • Jonathan Maberry • Laura Bickle • Mary Robinette Kowal • Mikaela Lind • Mind Meld • Sarah Olsen • tom merritt • Wendy Wagner, posting their wrap-ups of #2013, giving their opinions of the best #Sci-Fi across English origins or translations into English for TV, films, graphic novel and all types of writing and authors.
Be sure to scroll down and read/add to the comments, which includes one from ME and could include YOURS!
http://www.sfsignal.com/archives/2014/01/mind-meld-favorite-sffh-consumed-in-2013/
Just sent to 2 beta readers! Vol II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, The Spanners Series. #TCMFandMLF #THESPANNERSSERIES
Need 2 more. Must read Vol I, This Changes Everything. Will send Smashwords coupon for free ebook of TCE if you want to be beta reader for TCMFandMLF.
http://www.sallyember.com for buy links for TCE, contact info, or message me here by Jan 31, 2014.
Cover art and logo by Willowraven.
Am I the only author who is reluctant to finish a book? In Stephen Sondheim’s depiction of Georges Seurat in Sunday in the Park with George, his song, Finishing the Hat, eloquently and poignantly describes this exact chiaroscuro-type emotional state.
http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/sundayintheparkwithgeorge/finishingthehat.htm
We artists, writers, creators enter and create “the world of the hat” “where there never was a hat” and then have to leave it (temporarily, and then, forever, in the case of a series of novels or works). I feel both proud and sad, both happy and relieved, both excited and frightened to go forward.
Going forward: beta readers, feedback, critiques, discussions, defenses, relinquishments. Then, editing, revising, altering my “hat” into its final formatted form for ebook publication on Smashwords. Next, reviews, rankings, more feedback, more critiques. Finally, publication/release. Endless marketing and attempts to increase readership/visibility, all along.
Writing is the best part. I hate to end it.
I am dragging my literary feet; I have had an unfinished near-the-end chapter of This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, Volume II of The Spanners Series, for two weeks. Well, I was away and “couldn’t write” for a week (really?). Home for two days and still couldn’t make myself finish it.
Until a few hours after I drafted this post, yesterday afternoon: finished and sent off my draft to two beta readers.
Writing this post helped make the finishing occur, somehow. I explained and confessed my hesitation to complete my work. Then, I had no more excuses or barriers.
The hat must be finished.
I am already thinking frequently about Volume III (the next hat), This Is/Is Not the Way I Thought Things Would Change.
This week marks my 90th Post and my 5-month Blogaversary. I appreciate greatly how authors, artists, writers, editors and many creative people join together to help increase one another’s reach and visibility on FB, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, Goodreads, Booklikes, Shelfari and increasingly, on Google+.
Here are my end-of-first-five-months’ stats and questions (mostly for other authors). Please leave responses to mine or add your own questions in the comments section on the WordPress or Tumblr blog post site. (You will have to sign in via Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or your own WP or Tumblr account on these sites to comment.)
First, many thanks for the support and receptivity: on WordPress, my blog now has 50 followers (MY GOAL for 1/1/14!) and 12 on my Tumblr site (which has all cross-posts from the WP site), for a grand and wonderful total of 62 #FF who receive (and an unknown number who read) my posts.
I’m inviting guest bloggers this year.
QUESTION: Would you like to guest blog? (I am restricting guest blogging [for now] to followers of my blogs on WP or Tumblr: good reason to become a follower!)
Please let me know when and on what topic(s).
Topics on which I welcome guest posts: Buddhism, meditation, yoga, meditation retreats, having a spiritual teacher, the influence of your spiritual practice on your writing; writing, publishing, marketing our writing; or, any of the many topics I have already blogged about (read my past posts for hints!).
sallyember.com has gone from being “invisible” (no ranking at all) via ALEXA (Google’s ranking system) to being in the top 3.5 million websites worldwide in only five months.
QUESTION: How much does an ALEXA ranking mean, and what is your site ranked?
Concurrently, Twitter followers have grown from 7 in August to over 1700 this week (almost reached my randomly set goal of 2000 #FF by 1/1/14). @sallyemberedd finds me there. Special thanks to #ASMSG, the World Literary Cafe @worldlitcafe and Keith Fritz’ Author Megasheet on Google for such great contacts and networking opportunities which help build visibility and connections on Twitter. Due to cross-posting via Facebook, Pinterest and my blog, I don’t always post directly on Twitter, but I do have an active presence there.
QUESTION: How much do Twitter followers actually read further/click on Tweets’ links and which ones appeal most to you?
Also, my original Spanners Series page on Facebook now has over 450 LIKES (my modest goal for 1/1/14 was 200!) with many “LIKE for LIKE” events hosted on FB and contacts via Facebook groups, such as the Science-Fiction/Romance Brigade, the World Literary Cafe, Clean Indie Reads, Authors Social Media Support and many others, to offer THANKS for this amazing rise in connections on FB in recent weeks (at the beginning of December, my series page had fewer than 200 LIKES). I also have a lot more “friends” (as Sally Sue Fleischmann Ember) via these same networks and groups for writers/authors and science-fiction fans as well as those interested in Buddhism.
Question: What impact do FB LIKES have on an author’s visibility, in your opinion? If you are an author and your LIKES have risen lately, how exactly have you experienced a change in sales, interactions, or network invitations that you can attribute to this increase?
I am fairly new to having a series page on Google+ (3 weeks), so my Spanners Series page there only has 9 #FF. But, I (as Sally Sue Ember) have joined many groups and hope to increase the number of people in my circles and who follow the series page by connecting and networking more via these opportunities as well. Groups for writers/authors and science-fiction fans as well as those interested in Buddhism are my main ones here, too.
QUESTION: How do you use Google+ and what is your opinion of it?
On youtube, I now have 3 videos of me reading from or talking about The Spanners Series and particularly Volume I, This Changes Everything (about one/month) since October, 2013, but only a handful of viewers, so far.
QUESTION: If you are an author, do you have a book trailer or other writing-related videos on youtube? How successful has your video presence been for driving traffic to your books’ sites, for sales, for views?
Again, partly thanks to networking and support via #ASMSG, on Goodreads, This Changes Everything is getting 4- and 5-star reviews and ratings and moving up on many lists on Listopia. As a member of only about 12 months, my “friends” number has grown to over 650. I also joined some groups here as well.
QUESTION: How do you use Goodreads as a reader? What about as an author?
Since the release date (12/19/13) of This Changes Everything, the first ebook in the The Spanners Series, TCE has been moving erratically but promisingly through the sales rankings on Amazon, Kobo, Nook and Smashwords (don’t have rankings, yet, on iBooks). Many more reviewers are about to post their reviews over the next several weeks, which will help spread the word even more.
Examples: on Amazon, TCE has risen into the top 58,000 (out of 8 million) books on Amazon, and my author rank (so far) has risen to 89,000 (out of over 500,000).
On Kobo, TCE has moved up over 2000 other books in all Fiction and over 300 other books in Romance, Paranormal (through a mix-up, it’s not in Sci-fi, where it belongs) since it’s release date.
On nook, TCE has been in the top 500,000 overall (out of over 2 million books).
QUESTION: If you have published and sell ebooks in the last 12 months, what advice would you give to new ebook authors about these types of stats?
TCE is also on Shelfari, Booklikes and several independent sites (sites that post ebooks, reviews, author interviews and stories about indie books/authors). On http://www.sallyember.com, on the right of each page. Scroll down for live links.
QUESTION: What alternative sites feature you or your writing? What are your experiences with these? Do you do “blog hops,” “cover reveals,” cross-posting of other types? Advice?
The eleven Boards I have on Pinterest which I add to frequently, relate to my writing, the series, authors and music, locations and information connected to the series and my life. Started with NO followers in September; now have almost 70. sallyember is my Pinterest address (button to this on my website).
QUESTION: How do you use Pinterest? Experiences?
Through all these and other efforts and, again, much support from friends, family and colleagues/network members, including on LinkedIn, my KLOUT score has risen to over 61 (anything over 50 is considered good; over 65 is considered excellent).
QUESTION: What is your KLOUT score? How important do you think this ranking is for a new author?
I recently joined some LinkedIn groups for writers/authors and science-fiction fans as well as those interested in Buddhism. Since I’m so new to these (less than 1 month’s membership in most), not sure of the impact, yet.
QUESTION: What LinkedIn groups do you belong to/recommend and why?
Enough for now. Thanks for reading, responding, explaining, advising, recommending, warning, sharing. Best to you all!
Buddhism FAQs and great answers from Barbara O’Brien’s Buddhism blog, a post aptly called Misunderstanding Buddhism. Subtitled: “Common Things People Believe About Buddhism That Aren’t True.” Read & Share!
I really like her section on Karma:
“6. Karma Punishes People Who Deserve It
“Karma is not a cosmic system of justice and retribution. There is no unseen judge pulling the strings of karma to punish wrongdoers. Karma is as impersonal as gravity. What goes up does come down; what you do is what happens to you.
“Karma is not the only force that causes things to happen in the world. If a terrible flood wipes out a community, don’t assume karma somehow brought about a flood or that the people in the community deserved to be punished for something. Unfortunate events can happen to anybody, even the most righteous.
“That said, karma is a strong force that can result in a generally happy life or a generally miserable one.”
I love this! I wish ALL beings could have info wherever they want and need it. In #THISCHANGESEVERYTHING and all Volumes of #THESPANNERSSERIES, they do.
Authors/Writers and others are often looking for ways to become more visible, become associated with “better” (and more well-known) bloggers, and reach a new audience. Guest blogging/posting is a great way to do this. Here are some opportunities and ways to find opps that I’ve come across. Check them out! [FYI: I am not endorsing, merely curating others’ content, here.]
First, be careful! Your writing, including all comments and blogs you post, comprises a key part of your professional/ personal brand. Anything online is public and stays around forever. Make your visible, online presence the one you want to have. Protect it, use it well, be intentional!
Belinda Summers provides some warnings: “5 Things to Consider Before Guest Blogging.” Belinda “works as a Business Development Consultant for CallboxInc. She helps businesses improve and maximize their marketing campaigns by providing expert advice on lead generation and appointment setting. She provides tips and trainings on telemarketing, email, social media, and other marketing strategies.”
The Word is looking for guest posters/bloggers (400 wds) on the topic of writing. Andre Cruz is the owner of this site.
Ways to find guest blogging opps are laid out well by Rae Hoffman, “(AKA “Sugarrae”) is a veteran in the affiliate marketing space and the CEO of PushFire, a digital marketing agency that provides SEO and PPC management services.”
Mackenzie Fogelsen has “5 Steps to finding the right guest blogging opps,” given with examples and details, a different approach (largely good for nonfiction writers, but easily adapted for fiction authors) from Rae’s to finding guest blogging opps. “Mack is the Founder, CEO, and full-on Evangelist for Mack Web Solutions. She is a Moz Fan and honored to be an Associate. Mack is a firm and passionate believer in user experience and the building of community.”
On my site, since it’s only a few months old, I’ve been the only blogger (although I reblog and link to others’ content regularly). I’ve now finished my first quarter of having my own blog and am ready to open it up to guest bloggers.
Become a follower so you don’t miss the announcement! http://www.sallyember.com
That’s more than enough to get you started! Blog away!
Still hoping to use ebook gift cards, give ebooks as gifts, get some more good reads for your own new device (nook or Apple brand compatible)? See below for opportunities!
Of course, I’m wanting you to include This Changes Everything, Volume I of The Spanners Series by me (Sally Ember, Ed.D.), in your gifting/reading plans! Buy links to TCE are below the link in this blog post for the gifting, so come back here or remember the title when you go cruising for ebooks in the sci-fi/ romance/ paranormal/ multiverse/ utopian great fiction sections!
If you start to follow my blog and/or already are a follower, leave a comment with your email address (or send it to me privately after following), I’ll send you a coupon for a FREE download of my ebook from Smashwords, which has all formats of ebooks available right there.
Click below to get to Her Ladyship’s Quest site for a chance to win a $15 nook gift card and an explanation of the iBooks’ gift card process, now available for the first time!
Thanks for being an ebook reader and supporter of indie and ebook authors! Happy New Year!
Her Ladyship’s Quest giveaways and info
Twitter for Newbies: BEST explanation and instructions/tips for for authors EVER! Read and use! Thanks, Anmarea (Melodie Ramone, #ASMSG leader)!
Twitter. It’s reminds me of the Tardis. Only because it’s so little on the outside and so HUGE on the inside. And, depending on who’s managing the thing, there might be a mad doctor at the helm. Ah, Twitter. It’s like a little home away from home.
People don’t like Twitter. “It’s too hard to say what I want under 140 characters!” They say. I say, “Oh, come on now! Are we not writers? Have we never mastered the art of using just a few words to express many?” I also say, “HAIKU, People! HAIKU!” but that’s beside the point.
140 character limit messages or not, Twitter is a platform that, undeniably, can be more than massive effective if you use it right. Sure, it’s just another social media trap to get stuck in and not be able to pull yourself away from to finish your writing, but…wait. No. No…
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This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series, has arrived! TCE has received its first “negative” review by someone who did not allow me to read it first and with whom I have no other relationship.
Since some of you aren’t on Facebook (where it is posted), I’ve copied it here in its entirety, mistakes and all.
I do appreciate whenever anyone takes the time to read and review a book of mine, so: Since thanks, Amanda Blankfield-Koseff. Best to you.
Book Review – This Changes Everything
December 24, 2013 at 5:32am
by Sally Ember (Smashwords) ISBN: 9781310232428
Dr Clara Branon is visited by alien holograms one night. Although this is not shocking to her because she has been visited by extra-terrestrials since childhood, this is the first time the beings communicate with her. They call her by her full name and inform her that she is to be their chief communication officer between Earth and the MWC (Many Worlds Collective).
Clara has to appoint a media contact to help her disseminate the information for the next few decades. At the same time, she has to explain to her son and other family members what she has undertaken to do. The book mixes world history and sociology together with extra-terrestrial occurrences. It uses comic relief and shows Clara to be a really eccentric person through the story.
Ember has structured the book into chapters, and chapter interludes. It becomes unclear whether this is a work of fiction or non-fiction at times due to the structure and academic style used in the interludes. There is only a loose plot and no villain as yet, which can make a reader lose interest. Ember has appendices where she lays out the ideas for a series of ten of these books under the banner of The Spanner Series.
You may like this book if you enjoy humorous Sci-Fi such as The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Amanda Blankfield-Koseff
2/5 HERE but she gives it 3 stars on Amazon Reviews!
@Amands5
I have had the great, good fortune to become well-educated. Some of it was due to sheer luck: family of origin, excellent school system, native intelligence. The rest came from my own motivation, curiosity, dedication, discipline and hard work. Along the way, many people have been jealous, intimidated, angry or otherwise negative toward me due to their own insecurities, competitiveness and failures. Their favorite epithet to fling at me is judgmental (although they usually spell it incorrectly).
My usual response is to agree with them in one way or another and not to be offended, which usually infuriates them further. Yes, I am judgmental.
I am actually quite discerning. I consider the facts, my own beliefs, experience and values. Then, I make a decision as to the worthiness of someone or something. I do not apologize for forming an opinion. It is my right and actually, my duty, to do so.
Not to form an opinion demonstrates a lack of conviction which can indicate one is lazy, ignorant or dishonest. EVERYONE forms opinions, whether we express them or not.
Having judgment to the point of discernment is both a matter of survival and a condition of maturity. It is important to every aspect of our adult lives that we make informed choices. Otherwise, we are undisciplined, disempowered, sheepish followers with no self-driven understandings of our decisions.
When adolescents fail to learn to make good decisions, we all mourn the horrible consequences of their ill-informed actions (or inactions). Why do we encourage teens to learn to choose and then spend decades castigating adults for being too choosy?
Recently, I got into a disagreement with someone on a website about the way she was administering her “page,” or “event.” She had invited me to participate. I read the rules she had set up, her own guidelines, and then joined. But her rules weren’t being followed. I objected. I pointed out the ways that these rules were being broken, told her I was uncomfortable participating as long as these others were being allowed to continue, and asked her to boot the rule-breakers.
Her response to me was to call me judgmental. She claimed that I was being judgmental by saying that I didn’t want to allow these others to stay on this site. She then threw down the “it’s my site and I’ll do what I want” gauntlet, and continued to refuse to do her admin job. I left the event.
I also warned others against participating by explaining the distressing lack of enforcement she was providing considering the invaders’ tactics. The threats they presented were significant. I believe it would have been irresponsible for me not to speak up about the situation since I knew first-hand what participation could cost new participants, and not everyone would be as alert as I had been to the subtleties of these threats. Newcomers would risk harm to their professional reputations, possible tangential criminal involvement, and, at the very least, they’d be wasting their time.
Some thanked me. Others were silent. Some wondered: Was I being appropriate? Was I not nice?
I know some nice people. They are naturally kind, sweet, easy to get along with, agreeable. I envy and yearn to be more like them, but nice doesn’t come into my personality so easily. When I was younger, I often got labeled cute (mostly because I’m quite short), but not usually nice.
I’m fun, funny, generous (to a fault), honest, reliable, hard-working, loyal and trustworthy (also to a fault) and extremely well-organized. But, nice? Not the first adjective people use to describe me. I’m not mean, either.
But when a person is known for being nice, everyone says that about them first. When a person is known for being smart or excellent at other professional components, as I am, nice does not come first in a string of descriptive words. Picky often does. So do strong, quick, intimidating and brilliant.
What about when some people’s “niceness” turns to malleable, when their spines bend in every direction, metaphorically? I do not trust them. They sway with every strong force around them, having no core of their own. Just as being too choosy has a downside (being intolerant comes to mind), so does being too nice. Was this site administrator being too nice or just unable to be strong enough to enforce rules?
What does it mean to be wise in one’s judgments, to show discernment, to exhibit sagacity? We elect and hire people to sit in judgment for us, literally as judges, and in many other roles in which evaluation is necessary or required. We accept or rebel against their opinions, but we don’t tell them not to form them, do we?
Book reviewers are in another category of people to whom we turn for judgment. Readers rely on reviewers to help us make decisions about what to read and to help us understand better why we like or dislike a book. Authors rely on reviewers to represent our work honestly and fairly to readers.
Reviewers are supposed to employ discernment as well as sagacity, drawing on experience, wide-ranging knowledge, professional awareness of trends and their own preferences. Then, we expect them to express these opinions as objectively as possible. We certainly don’t want them not to form opinions. They must be judgmental to do their jobs.
As an author, I appreciate strong, clear, opinionated reviewers and long for those types of reviews for my work. Give me negative or positive reviews, I am grateful to you for being willing to state your opinions, give your reasons, stand by them: I applaud professional reviewers!
So, the next time you feel moved to label someone judgmental, ask yourself these questions and consider these next steps:
1) are YOU being judgmental right now, and not in a good way, but in an intolerant way? If so, back off until you understand your own feelings and thoughts better. Then, try expressing those with more clarity and focus as well as respect.
2) are you merely disagreeing with this person and trying to shut down the argument by calling names or flinging negative labels? That’s lazy discourse. Get a better vocabulary and stay in the discussion, with integrity, or don’t argue at all.
3) are you actually hiding a more personal agenda (e.g., you dislike this person, you feel guilty for whatever it is they’re calling you out about, you actually agree with them, you are ashamed of your failings, they remind you of your mother or father or some other person who evaluated you unfairly in the past, etc.)? Try to figure out what your internal voice is actually saying and then decide if this is the person you even want to say this to or not. Determine further action after that.
Meanwhile, don’t be ashamed of or try to hide your opinions or judgments. Be honest, but use discernment and sagacity: be kind, be careful, be respectful.
Next, have some courage! Don’t back down if you really believe what you’re saying or writing. Just express it better. Then, when people call you judgmental, say, “Thank you for noticing.”
Life on Other Planets Confirmed!
This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series, by Sally Ember, Ed.D., is in the NEWS…sort of…Check it out!
Read full article HERE at The Looking Glass.
Buy This Changes Everything now wherever ebooks are sold and all formats available, including free excerpts, from original distributor, Smashwords. All buy links LIVE at: http://www.sallyember.com look to the right and scroll down. THANKS!
Thanks, Jeff Smith and The Looking Glass
art by Willowraven
Maybe you’re able to be near an online source to listen to Sally Ember, Ed.D., sci-fi/romance ebook author, talk about her newly released ebook, series, writing, and more on Friday, 12/27, 11 AM EST. Spread the word! One-hour live call-in/comment online show.
Listen live or archived. Sally Ember, Ed.D. will be interviewed by Will Wilson on Indie Books, Blog Talk Radio’s weekly indie author spotlight.
Call in by phone, chat online with comments, questions, suggestions about The Spanners Series, This Changes Everything, Volume I, and Sally’s ideas, writing, and science-fiction/multiverse/romance/paranormal themes, Buddhism, Judaism, family: whatever you’re interested in talking with Sally about, this is YOUR hour!
Readers of this post who FOLLOW http://www.sallyember.com may email her to request a coupon for a FREE download of her ebook via Smashwords, good through 12/31/13.
Visit her site or https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/376197 to download free excerpts, read reviews/interviews, and more.
Go online (link below) to listen live and type in questions/comments via Chat, or call in to speak with the host, Will Wilson, 11 AM – noon, 12/27, EST, New York, USA, time, Friday: (646) 595-3951 in the USA
Or, if you miss it, it will be archived, same link, ever after:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/indiebooks/2013/12/27/indie-books-show-15
1/5/14: Today, Will Wilson, the host/interviewer emailed me that this show with his interview of me, Sally Ember, author of “The Spanners Series,” now has Indie Books’ 2nd-highest listener ranking, with over 350 listeners since the 12/27 broadcast! it’s archived, so listen any time and share! Thanks, Will, and thanks to all the listeners, past and future!
Today marks the completion of my first ebook’s official first Launch into retail sales. I have many to thank for helping this happen. Here is my SPEECH in written form.
First, I want to tell my son, Merlyn Ember, how much I respect, love, and appreciate him. His insights, lexicography, tech assistance, re-posting on Facebook and support have been invaluable to me as an author and as a mom. THANK YOU, Merlyn! And, THANK YOU to his partner, Lauren Harrison, my newest family member and friend, for her support and wonderful warmth.
Then, my second-oldest niece, Sarah Miranda, deserves her own special mention. Sarah is my first and most reliable Beta reader, my website developer and maven, on-tap tech help and Facebook quality control “friend” who re-posts on Facebook and corrects my mistakes. Sarah has inspired, supported, amused and informed me continually. THANK YOU, SARAH!
Next, my sister, Ellen Fleischmann. Without her generosity and support, there would not be such an amazing book cover. She has also supported, encouraged, re-posted on Facebook, and inspired me and my writing in numerous ways, including being THE instigator and prime mover of this entire push to publication and marketing since I was laid off from a trad job this summer. THANK YOU, ELLEN!
Special thanks to my cover artist, Willowraven, for helping me understand and develop my cover design with feasible and affordable guidelines without losing my vision or missing my deadline by too much! Visit her site! Give her your business (but not when I need her!): willowraven-illustration.blogspot.com
Next, my youngest sibling, Lauri Fleischmann Stern, for her ongoing support, re-posting on Facebook, and encouragement, ideas, and laughter. She is currently reading my book and I eagerly await her comments. THANK YOU, LAURI!
My mom, Carole Harris, in spite of technical hurdles, continues to leap over them (or knock them down) to support and encourage my authorship. She has also been a great friend, on and off Facebook. THANK YOU, MOM!
My sister-in-law, Laura Weis Fleischmann, even more hampered yet determined to overcome technical obstacles, remains a staunch supporter and is about to be a new reader of my ebook. THANK YOU, LAURA!
My brother, Jonathan Fleischmann, while mostly quiet about it, has nevertheless been a support and help to me and I THANK YOU, JON!
My long-time friend (since 1978!), Mario Cossa, has been a supporter and cheerleader for my efforts. I expect his enjoyment and critique of my ebook to start floating over the oceans and airwaves via SKYPE from Bali any day, now. THANK YOU, MARIO!
My newer friend (since 2011), Diana Ruiz, who drove all the way from Sonoma to Hayward yesterday, my ebook launch day, just to celebrate, encourage and support me, also treated me to lunch and then proceeded to post on Facebook and her own org page to support my ebook’s visibility. THANK YOU, DIANA! Send support to Women’s Global Leadership Initiative, her org: http://www.wgli.org
My recently departed but never-forgotten, long-time friend, Jaye Alper, figures into this ebook and series as the inspiration for one of the characters. She was too ill when I was drafting this to read any versions of it, but we did talk about it before she passed and I know she’s laughing and critiquing away and sharing it with her librarian contacts from wherever she is now. THANK YOU, JAYE!
Thanks also to many other friends, family members and supporters, including but not limited to: Christopher Ember Briggs, David Garelick, Pema Lama, Jim Shucart, Edward Elbers, Pamela Faith Lerman Gluck, Katie Schwerin, Bill White, Sandra Mellander, Heidi Henkel, Diane Stolar, Edina Adler, Helen Perdue, Suzanne Yeomans, Jennifer Foltz, Jennifer O’Donnell, Wendy Boldizar, Bill Weiss, Randi Weiss, Leo Weissman, Jody Serkes, Pat Lenobel, Bonnie Mulliken; Jeff Kravin and Julia Wersema; Debbie and John Paggi; Don and Fatima Frazier; Jeremiah and Elijah Kneeland; Emily, Noah, Amanda and Jamie Stern; Malka, Yakov, Akiva and Shaya Fleischmann as well as Adina, Talia and Estey Fleischmann; Ron and Scott Cytron; David, Michael and Kathy Rosen; Hillary, David and Adrienne Levin; all my colleagues and friends on Goodreads, #ASMSG and other FB, LinkedIn and Google+ groups’ members.
Thanks to those on Twitter whom I follow and who follow me. Especially grateful for the Retweets! #FF @sallyemberedd
Very important thanks to those who offered and then posted Author Interviews and read pre-pub editions/wrote and posted reviews: Pippa Green and others at the Science-Fiction Romance Brigade; Andrea Barbosa; Debbie Brown/Amethyst Eyes; Skye Callahan; New Book Journal; Shah Wharton; Bits, Bytes and Books “owner” and new author-friend, Ria Stone, author of Gina’s Dream; Zach Tyo; Lynda Dietz; Janice G. Ross. Links to all of these are on this website: http://www.sallyember.com Look to the right and SCROLL!
Thanks to Will Wilson for inviting me to his radio interview show which will air live on BlogTalk Radio, 11 AM EST, Friday, December 27: http://blogtalkradio.com/indiebooks
Special thanks to my first pre-pub reader and reviewer, fellow sci-fi author, Mary Josephine O’Brien, and best of wishes to her on the publication of her ebook, Shared Skies.
Thanks to all the groups, sites, book clubs, librarians, independent bookstore operators online and in person, and bloggers who post, re-blog and support indie authors and indie books. I can’t possibly name you all, but I hope you know how much your support and help with increasing visibility mean to us authors, typing all alone and creating who knows what in our little writing caves.
Special thanks to the Fremont, Redwood Empire and Hayward, CA, writers’ groups for critiques, support, inspiration and opportunities to do public readings, and encouragement.
Very special thanks to Jordan Rosenfeld, author/editor/blogger, for her professional information, inspiration and energy for improving my writing and for revision after revision.
Thanks and a tip of the hat in amazement to Mark Coker, Ted Summerfield and the entire Smashwords team for all your support, great instructional guides and videos, tech support and encouragement for my becoming and many millions of others being able to become ebook authors.
Thanks to Author U, Judith Briles and the team and invited marketing mavens there, for great webinars and advice for authors/writers. Take advantage of their “Mentoring Mondays”! Free! http://authoru.org/
Last and certainly not least: my spiritual teacher and long-time (since 1983) friend, Lama Drimed (Alwyn Fischel), who is the inspiration for many themes and topics in this series and for one of the characters (guess which one?), has my heart-felt devotion and eternal gratitude for so much, including all of his teaching, support, guidance and encouragement for my spiritual and professional paths. THANK YOU, LAMA DRIMED!
May all beings benefit.
As some of you know, I’m engaged in a mini-at-home #meditation #retreat in which I am attempting to #contemplate the experiences of beings who inhabit each of the six #Realms according to #Tibetan #Buddhism.
I have spent the last two months wending my way through each of the “upper” five and am now on the final, sixth and “lowest” of the Realms, the #Hell #Realm. Problem is, I don’t believe in Hell. This is a very big obstacle to doing this practice.
The first time I ever heard about this cosmology was in a ten-day teaching entitled “The Bodhisattva Peace Training,” conceived of and taught at that time by His Eminence Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche, one of the last authentic meditation masters to have been trained in Tibet before the 1959 Chinese invasion. He and his immediate family successfully fled to India and he eventually made his way to the USA. I met him and attended this teaching in the late 1980s, when he had been in the USA for several years.
I was a skeptic. I was resistant. I was only there because some of the people I most loved and respected in the world were already studying with and living at this main center in northern California and others I knew and respected and cared for were also studying with him while living elsewhere, including the friend who attended this retreat with me. We both came to it from New Hampshire where we both lived at that time. However, she was not at all skeptical or resistant, having met Chagdud Tulku in 1983 and already been practicing Tibetan Buddhism for several years.
I, on the other hand, came under duress. I felt coerced by my friends to “try this out.” But, what they meant was, DO IT. They were so convinced that this was “it” that they had sold everything to follow this teacher and live at this center, which they helped purchase for the community of practitioners, the sangha.
But I, like several others who came to this retreat who were refugees from the explosions that had just been occurring within Chogyam Trungpa’s Colorado sangha, felt more “no” than “yes” about the entire package. I listened, I took notes, I attended, I considered.
Some of what Rinpoche (which is what everyone called Chagdud Tulku because “Rinpoche” means “precious one” and is a Tibetan honorific reserved for well-respected teachers) taught made sense to me. Some of it even touched me deeply, resonated within my heart and echoed in my mind as if meeting old friends.
Then he got to the explanation of the Realms, specifically the Hell Realms, and I just sat there, stunned. The descriptions of the experiences of the beings relegated to living in these conditions for untold eons started with statements about how these beings had been cast into these lowest Realms due to their unfortunate actions, karma, in former lifetimes. Specifically, they must have committed murder, betrayal of high beings, or some other horrific acts to have “earned” this incarnational location.
I could live with the concept of karma just fine. Cause and effect, do this and expect that. It seemed a bit simplistic to me and somewhat castigating or threatening, but it had a kind of logic to it.
However, the rest was harder for me to swallow. Impossible, as it turned out. Rinpoche told us that there were many types of Hells and talked in detail about their conditions: freezing, burning, cutting, piercing; being forced to do repetitive, arduous work (think: Sisyphus); having one’s skin flailed off, regrowing it, then having it flailed off again, repeatedly; walking around in as much pain as we would feel if someone were scraping a fingernail on our bare eyeballs. And, more. Any one of these experiences, we were being told, could last for what would feel to these beings like eons, with no hope of reprieve. The best protection was never to land there. Rinpoche admonished us: “Be virtuous.”
I resented this attitude, which assumed that I and other students needed to be motivated by fear in order to be motivated to become a Buddhist practitioner. As a life-long contrary, hearing this kind of talk tended to push me in the opposite direction entirely. Then, Rinpoche got even more specific about the kinds of acts that landed one in a Hell Realm and I became increasingly insulted, even outraged.
At one point, when we were invited to ask questions, I raised my hand and asked something like this: “Do you really expect us to believe that all of this is real? Aren’t these just stories you tell children to frighten them into being ‘good’?” Yes, I was that disrespectful, something I am not proud of at all.
Rinpoche’s translator stared at me as if I had just cursed at him. Rinpoche, however, was tranquil, unperturbed.
NOTE: Rinpoche understood English quite well at this point, but his spoken English was difficult for most of us to understand. Sometimes he had someone who knew both Tibetan and English so that Rinpoche could teach in Tibetan, but this translator was tasked with rephrasing his Tibetan-syntaxed and oddly-accented English into more familiar English structures for the rest of us. She would take copious notes or listen as he spoke, then rephrase what he said whenever he paused for her to do so.
After Rinpoche responded to my questions, her translation went something like this: “Rinpoche says, ‘The Hell Realms are as real as this one. It is just your karma making it so you and most of us do not usually see, hear, or experience Hell Realms’ conditions right now. Consider yourself fortunate. Your karma has provided you with a precious Human birth. Use it wisely.'”
This did not help me one bit. Not then, and not for many years. In fact, I was so turned off by this and other experiences at this retreat and with my practitioner friends that I avoided learning any more about Tibetan Buddhism for eight more years. I would go visit them, but as friends. I would even see Rinpoche, who traveled with one or more of them and came East to New York or Boston a few times during those eight years, but not to learn anything he taught. Just to visit.
When I finally became more open to it (another long story), in 1996, it still took me several more years to understand and accept, even tangentially, all this Realms information. Which brings me to now, twenty-five years after that first exposure to the Hell Realms. I’m still on the fence.
I believe and I don’t believe. I know it’s possible that many types of experiences exist in many dimensions or realms that most of us do not perceive. I just don’t completely accept the entire story of the experiences as depicted in Tibetan books and by Tibetan Buddhist teachers of what these Realms are like.
I’ve struggled with these last two months’ assignments, feeling worse and worse about my lack of confidence in depictions of the experiences of beings in the Realms. I go back and forth between acceptance and rejection of these “facts.”
I can allow that Humans can live hellish lives, or parts of our lives can be hellish. Certainly some illnesses, injuries, chemical weapons or other horrible acts of war bring many types of hell to people and animals subjected to them. Napalm, nerve gas, cancer, amputations and phantom limbs, the D.T.s all fit into these stories perfectly.
For now, I’m sticking with that version. I’m just too Jewish or too American or too modern or too stubborn (maybe that’s redundant…) to believe in the Realms as depicted.
I do believe in the lessons they are meant to teach, especially the most important ones: Be grateful to be Human, to have been born (this time, anyway) into a life of relative ease and leisure. Be committed to continue to enact and amass more virtue in my life, both for others’ benefit and for my future karmic outcomes.
I can believe in the importance of gratitude and virtuous behaviors. I have thanked and thank again the late Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche (who left that body in 2002) and my current teacher, Lama Padma Drimed Norbu, for putting up with my difficulties and teaching me, anyway. Here are photos of Rinpoche before he left that body and of his new incarnation, and Lama Drimed, below.
Meanwhile, I have about a week to contemplate the experiences of Hell, real or imagined. Here I go.
FINAL PUSH! last day for #pre-orders for my first ebook, original, unique #scifi/#romance/#paranormal novel with #Buddhist, #Jewish, #utopian themes, This Changes Everything, Vol. I of The Spanners Series, on iBooks, nook, KOBO thru 12/18; release date 12/19 will show great sales and ROCKET TCE to a high position on “best-seller” lists and get it more visibility IF pre-orders pour in.
Please help? Only $1.99. Starting 12/19 @ $2.99.
Give it as a #gift! Geared to older teens and adults.
Cover art by #Willowraven.
#Free excerpts here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/376197
Other links on http://www.sallyember.com (look to the right and scroll for the link you want: reviews, interviews, blog posts and buy links). THANKS! SHARE!
Join ebook author, Sally Ember, Ed.D., for Q & A online chat on 12/19/13, Release Date of This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series, on Goodreads, 9 AM – 12 PM PST, FREE.
Join Goodreads (also free), then use the link, below, to post question/comments and register in advance or on the day of the event. SHARE!
ALSO, simultaneously, on Google On Air Hangout via youtube: https://plus.google.com/u/0/events/cqk9o94v7ovcdbdbq8q6mn26dns
Links to reviews, interviews, blog posts and buy links as well as excerpts on author’s website http://www.sallyember.com
Cover art by Willowraven.
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SYNOPSIS: Dr. Clara Ackerman Branon, Ph.D., 58, is having the first of many home visits from holographic representations of five beings from the Many Worlds Collective (MWC), a consortium of planet and star systems all around the multiverse, over a thirty-year, increasingly Utopian period. Earth is being invited to join, formally, and the December, 2012, visit is the first one allowed to be made public. Making the existence of the MWC public means many Earthers have to adjust our beliefs and ideas about life, religion, culture, identity and, well, everything we think and are. Clara becomes the liaison for Earth, the Chief Communicator, between Earth and the MWC. This Changes Everything relates the events partly from her point of view, partly from records of meetings of varying groups of the MWC governing bodies, and partly from her Media Contact, Esperanza Enlaces, employing humor, poignancy, a love story, family issues, MWC’s mistakes and blunders, history, politics, paranormalcy and hope.
Check out Cheryl Morgan’s “Year in Review,” Part I, from her feminist perspective. Comment on her site and here! Interested in your opinions. Check back for Part II.
http://aqueductpress.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-pleasures-of-reading-viewing-and_1839.html
Cheryl Morgan is the owner of Wizard’s Tower Press and the Wizard’s Tower ebook store. She blogs, reviews and podcasts regularly at Cheryl’s Mewsings.
#Buddhist cosmology puts humans and animals together in what is translated as the #Desire Realm. The Realm I am #contemplating for this phase of my #retreat is The Hungry Ghosts (#Pretas) Realm, which comes “below” these two. Pretas are born into this Realm because of exhibiting strong possessiveness and desire in other lives. So, in all three of these experiences, desire is the culprit.
However, we can’t function without desire. Our motivations are rooted first in desire, even for the most altruistic intentions, until we are beyond all suffering and desire. Let me know when you achieve that; I haven’t met anyone yet who has. Even His Holiness, the Dalai Lama, speaks of anger and other common emotions that still arise for him. The major difference between someone at his level or close to that and most practitioners are two factors; how long the feeling lasts and what we do in response to it.
Most people, Buddhist practitioners included, get lost for a moment or longer (or forever, if the person has no skills or practice to deter it) in the intense emotions of the present circumstances. We also get lost in emotions from events in the past or while anticipating the future. Every interaction, everything that occurs is an opportunity to remember or forget.
The best signs I can hope for in my life due to practice are to experience these emotions less frequently, less intensely and for shorter durations and not to get lost in them. The goal is not the journey. But, part of being in the Desire Realm as a human is to have goals.
What does it mean to “get lost” in emotions? For me, this part of the journey looks like this: when I’m lost, it means I forget about the nondual, oneness truth of all existence. I can’t feel my intention to benefit all beings. I lose track of my ability to feel compassion or to be even a little bit unselfish. I cling completely to the false reality of my tiny physical and ego-ridden self as if “I” am all that matters, or matter the most.
Then, equally importantly, when I do get lost, I am tasked with not condemning myself and not giving up. Learning to accept my failings, have compassion for my forgetting, recognize my humanness and even have a sense of humor about myself. I attempt to take myself more lightly while keeping my goals in mind.
Ruthlessness without condemnation is the key: being honest enough to face my foibles without falling into self-negating, self-deprecating messages. Actually, I’m doing pretty well with this part. I accept who I am at almost 60 years old much better than many people do.
Interestingly, the fact that I do not judge myself as harshly or frequently as others judge me has caused me a few problems. Apparently, misery loves company. Judgers want to see that their judgments have a negative effect. In my experience, when I do not take their derision or evaluations personally, they take offense. They claim I’m not listening, I’m not respecting them. They feel that I’m judging them.
What a strange set of illusions we share! My response to all that self-induced misery for those people is to feel compassion for their being lost and not get lost, myself. For refusing to allow their torment to bother me, I become unpopular.
Oh, well. Luckily for me I stopped desiring popularity in adolescence. Wish the rest of the adults would grow up.
Until then, torments and teases in the Desire Realm continue and we do our best to ride them out and not make things worse. Join me in gentle humor at oneself and others (but keep your amusement about others to yourself if you want friends!).
Keep on.
BIG PUSH! last 8 days for #pre-orders for my first ebook, original, unique #scifi/#romance/#paranormal novel with #Buddhist, #Jewish, #utopian themes, This Changes Everything, Vol. I of The Spanners Series, on iBooks, nook, KOBO thru 12/18; release date 12/19 will show great sales and ROCKET TCE to a high position on “best-seller” lists and get it more visibility IF pre-orders pour in.
Please help? Only $1.99. Give it as a #gift! Geared to older teens and adults.
Cover art by #Willowraven.
#Free excerpts here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/376197
Other links on http://www.sallyember.com (look to the right and scroll for the link you want: reviews, interviews, blog posts and buy links). THANKS! SHARE!
Addictions are the topic of many blogs, research studies, journal entries, news reports and conversations. At this point in the Western lexicon, someone can be “addicted” to practically anything: drugs or alcohol, of course; shopping; gambling; sex; food, particularly sugar, caffeine or wheat; fame; books; porn; the internet; and, any of a million possessions, collections, hobbies or activities.
Turns out I am genetically or personally lucky enough not to have an actual addiction, even by the above standards (unless you count obsessions as addictions, which is another discussion). However, I am about to confess what I discovered during my first six-week #Buddhist #meditation #retreat: I am a “next-thing” junkie. Whatever I am experiencing, regardless of how wonderful it is, how much I like it, I am always looking to the next phase.
When I am swimming, I fantasize about what I’ll do when I am finished. When I am writing, I consider when I will eat and what. When I am in the shower, I wonder about what I’ll write that day. During a meditation session, whatever practice or portion of the text we’re in, I want to be in the next part. When I’m silent, I want to talk. When I’m in conversation, I long for silence and solitude.
When I’m celibate, I daydream about sex. During sexual encounters, I want to have the aftermath, the closeness and intimacy of the more emotional kind, to be finished with the physical part. On and on.
This is my version of being a “Hungry Ghost,” a #Preta, one of the creatures doomed to exist for however long karma dictates who have extremely large bellies and very constricted throats: constantly starving and thirsty but never able to be satisfied. That is my dilemma: I am never satisfied, or not for very long.
I am not unique. I am not alone. In fact, I am in this way more mainstream, more ordinary than I am in almost any other component of my unusual life. When I brought this discover to my great #Tibetan #Buddhist teacher in the #Vajrayana #Nyingma #dzogchen lineage of #meditation, Lama Drimed, he talked to me about the known 51 “mental factors” that are considered part of the possible experience of sentient beings.
Want to know how many ways we can be caught up in experiences, thoughts, feelings? Fifty-one. Count ’em.
Here they are:
THE 5 OMNIPRESENT (EVER-RECURRING) MENTAL FACTORS
1. Feeling (the first aggregate)
2. Recognition / discrimination / distinguishing awareness (the second aggregate)
3. Intention / mental impulse – I will …
4. Concentration / attention / mental application – focused grasping of an object of awareness
5. Contact – the connection of an object with the mind, this may be pleasurable, painful or neutral as experienced by the aggregate of Feeling.
THE 5 DETERMINATIVE MENTAL FACTORS
6. Resolution / aspiration – directing effort to fulfil desired intention, basis for diligence and enthusiasm.
7. Interest / appreciation – holding on to a particular thing, not allowing distraction
8. Mindfulness / Recollection – repeatedly bringing objects back to mind, not forgetting
9. Concentration / Samadhi – one-pointed focus on an object, basis for increasing intelligence
10. Intelligence / Wisdom – “common-sense intelligence”, fine discrimination, examines characteristics of objects, stops doubt, maintains root of all wholesome qualities.
THE 4 VARIABLE (POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE) MENTAL FACTORS
11. Sleep – makes mind unclear, sense consciousness turns inwards
12. Regret – makes mind unhappy when regarding a previously done action as bad, prevents the mind from being at ease.
13. General examination / coarse discernment – depending on intelligence or intention, searches for rough idea about the object.
14. Precise analysis / subtle discernment – depending on intelligence or intention, examines the object in detail.
THE 11 VIRTUOUS MENTAL FACTORS
(Note that 18 and 19 are not necessary always virtuous. The first 3 are also known as roots of virtue.)
15. Faith / confidence / respectful belief – gives us positive attitude to virtue and objects that are worthy of respect. Three types are distinguished, with the last one being the preferred type:
a. uncritical faith: motivation is for no apparent reason
b. longing faith: motivation is by an emotionally unstable mind
c. conviction: motivated by sound reasons
16. Sense of Propriety / self-respect – usually the personal conscience to stop negative actions and perform positive actions
17. Considerateness / decency – avoids evil towards others, basis for unspoiled moral discipline.
18. Suppleness / thorough training / flexibility – enables the mind to engage in positive acts as wished, interrupting mental or physical rigidity.
19. Equanimity / clear-minded tranquility – peaceful mind, not being overpowered by delusions, no mental dullness or agitation
20. Conscientiousness / carefulness – causes avoiding negative acts & doing good; mind with detachment, non-hatred, non-ignorance and enthusiasm
21. Renunciation / detachment – no attachment to cyclic existence and objects
22. Non hatred / imperturbability – no animosity to others or conditions; rejoicing
23. Non-bewilderment / non ignorance / open-mindedness – usually understanding the meaning of things through clear discrimination, never unwilling to learn
24. Non violence / complete harmlessness – compassion without any hatred, pacifist
25. Enthusiasm / diligence – doing positive acts (specifically mental development and meditation) with delight
THE 6 NON-VIRTUOUS MENTAL FACTORS
THE 6 ROOT DELUSIONS (Delusion is defined as any secondary mental factor that, when developed, brings about suffering and uneasiness to self or others.)
26. Ignorance – not knowing karma, meaning and practice of 3 Jewels, includes closed-mindedness, lack of wisdom of emptiness.
27. Attachment / desire – definition: not wanting to be separated from someone or something. Grasping at aggregates in cyclic existence causes rebirth & suffering of existence
28. Anger – definition: wanting to be separated from someone or something, can lead to relentless desire to hurt others; causes unhappiness
29. Pride – inflated superiority, supported by one’s worldly views, which include disrespect of others
30. Doubt / deluded indecisive wavering – being in two minds about reality; usually leads to negative actions
31. Wrong views / speculative delusions – based on emotional afflictions. Distinguished in 5 types: belief in the self as permanent or non-existent (as opposite to the view of emptiness); denying karma, not understanding the value of the 3 Jewels; closed-mindedness (my view -which is wrong- is best); wrong conduct (not towards liberation)
THE 20 SECONDARY NON-VIRTUOUS MENTAL FACTORS
Derived from anger:
32. Wrath / hatred – by increased anger, malicious state wishing to cause immediate harm to others
33. Vengeance / malice / resentment – not forgetting harm done by a person, and seeking to return harm done to oneself
34. Rage / spite / outrage – intention to utter harsh speech in reply to unpleasant words, when wrath and malice become unbearable
35. Cruelty / vindictiveness / mercilessness – being devoid of compassion or kindness, seeking harm to others.
Derived from anger and attachment:
36. Envy / jealousy – internal anger caused by attachment; unbearable to bear good things others have
Derived from attachment:
37. Greed / avarice / miserliness – intense clinging to possessions and their increase
38. Vanity / self-satisfaction – seeing one’s good fortune giving one a false sense of confidence; being intoxicated with oneself
39. Excitement / wildness / mental agitation – distraction towards desire objects, not allowing the mind to rest on something wholesome; obstructs single pointed concentration.
Derived from ignorance:
40. Concealment – hiding one’s negative qualities when others with good intention refer to them this causes regret
41. Dullness / muddle-headedness – caused by fogginess which makes mind dark/heavy – like when going to sleep, coarse dullness is when the object is unclear, subtle dullness is when the object has no intense clarity
42. Faithlessness – no belief of that which is worthy of respect; it can be the idea that virtue is unnecessary, or a mistaken view of virtue; it forms the basis for laziness (43)
43. Laziness – being attached to temporary pleasure, not wanting to do virtue or only little; opposite to diligence [25])
44. Forgetfulness – causes to not clearly remember virtuous acts, inducing distraction to disturbing objects – not “just forgetting”, but negative tendency
45. Inattentiveness / lack of conscience – “distracted wisdom” after rough or no analysis, not fully aware of one’s conduct, careless indifference and moral failings; intentional seeking mental distraction like daydreaming
Derived from attachment and ignorance:
46. Hypocrisy / pretension – pretend non-existent qualities of oneself
47. Dishonesty / smugness – hiding one’s faults, giving no clear answers, no regret, snobbery & conceit, self-importance and finding faults with others
Derived from attachment, anger and ignorance
48. Shamelessness – consciously not avoiding evil, it supports all root and secondary delusions
49. Inconsiderateness – not avoiding evil, being inconsiderate of other’s practice, ingratitude
50. Unconscientiousness / carelessness- 3 delusions plus laziness; wanting to act unrestrained
51. Distraction / mental wandering – inability to focus on any virtuous object
from http://viewonbuddhism.org/mind.html
So, the next time you are trying to “control” your mind, or meditate, or refrain from a particular thought or emotion, consider this: another one is likely to arise in just a moment and you might prefer it.
#Impermanence can be our friend.
http://www.yogachicago.com/mar08/hungryghost.shtml
Amy Weintraub (bio and links, above and below) writes very personally about her own inner “Hungry Ghost,” known as Pretas in #Tibetan #Buddhism, the 5th of the 6 Realms I am contemplating for my home retreat.
I’m just beginning this phase of my #Tibetan #Buddhist, #Nyingma #Vajrayana #retreat and wanted some inspiration. Found it!
Her last paragraph, quoted below, was IT for me. I hope it inspires you, also, in whatever #meditation, #contemplation, or other personal #growth and #recovery practices you are engaged in for your own improvement. Best to you!
Today, I write from the memory of seeing the Hungry Ghost in the mirror. There are times, even now, where I see her everywhere, when any mindless action I take follows the old call-and-response pattern of my life. I thoughtlessly judge someone I love. I reach for a cracker when I’m not hungry. I pour another glass of wine. And behind all these actions, she looms, ready to devour, with that E.T. head and too-thin neck, refusing to see the great blossom of her belly beneath, recklessly craving more. No room for my lungs to take a deep breath. No room for my heart to feel compassion for my life. Over the years that we’ve lived together, I’ve learned two things. When I feed her, I am left ravenous and longing for more. When I embrace her with compassion, the wild yearning is pacified and, together, we have learned to dance. Sometimes, my Hungry Ghost still leads the dance, but more and more, it is compassion that leads the way.
Amy Weintraub, MFA, E-RYT (500), author of Yoga for Depression (Broadway Books) and founding director of the LifeForce Yoga Healing Institute, leads professional certification trainings in LifeForce Yoga for #Depression and #Anxiety for mental health professionals and #yoga teachers internationally. She is also a senior Kripalu teacher and mentor. Amy is featured on the CD Breathe to Beat the Blues and the first DVD home yoga practice series for mood management, the award-winning LifeForce Yoga to Beat the Blues. Her bi-monthly newsletter includes current research, news and media reviews on yoga and mental health. To sign up, go to http://www.yogafordepression.com. For more information, visit http://www.yogamind.com or call 773.327.3650. This is from a 2008 post, so not sure if it’s active, still.
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