You need to reorganize your life if you are outsourcing your #dating activities

I saw this actual ad on Craig’s List in St. Louis:

“Dating Expert 10 Hours a Week (work from home)” was the headline.
He also offered: “compensation: Great! telecommuting okay.”

The ad copy, exactly as it appeared, is in the block quote, below. I decided to respond, which follows.

I am a 30 year old busy executive with a New Year’s resolution of meeting my “dream girl.”

I work full time in corporate America and I simply don’t have a good way to meet available women.

I signed up for match.com more than a handful of times in the past and have met some really great women along the way. I found that it required a significant amount of time to both search for the type of women I was interested in meeting as well as spend the time actually writing back and forth.

I am at the point now where I would like to hire this out rather than continuing to fool with it myself.

So you, my ghost-writer would create a profile for me on a variety of dating sites such as Match.com and OKCupid.com and Fling.com. to search out both casual encounters and long-term relationships. You would ultimately ask some interview questions of me to figure out who I am and what I am about, gather all information necessary to complete the profile including bio, likes and dislikes, relationship goals and photos.

We would share a gmail account and a google voice line. You would search out and find the type of women I am interested in meeting, email them something witty and creative and get them interested in me.

You would then continue the dialogue with them via text message and email up to the point where they are really ready to schedule a date. You would then check my calendar (also on google) where you can see my free and busy times. You would schedule the date, pick the place, the whole nine yards.

I would then get an email from you outlining the discussions with them and a copy of their profile.

Once the date is scheduled I would go and see if there is a connection…

To figure out if you are a good fit for this job please email me a cover letter explaining why you will be a good fit. Also develop a profile for a stereotypical A-type personality executive for match.com. and a profile for Fling.com. Write 10 examples of opening emails that could be used generically to email potential mates.

Please provide also your salary requirements for 10 hours per week of work. Please use subject line of “CL mail expert”

I emailed this young man the following message:

SUBJECT: You need to reorganize your life if you are serious about getting involved with someone

MESSAGE:
Hi,

I am not applying for your job. I am a parent of a son about your age and I have to tell you this: if your life is so busy that you don’t even have time to have a conversation (via text or otherwise) with potential dates, your life is too busy to have a meaningful, satisfying relationship. That is the truth.

You need to reorganize your life if you are serious about getting involved with someone. It is NEVER going to be a good idea to “outsource” your important relationships, such as intimate partner, parent, or your other significant connections to actual humans.

Really.

Best to you,

Sally

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