18 or during 2018

12/16/2017 by Sally Ember, EdD

My two personal #feasiblegoals to reach by 1/1/18:
— ART: to have completed 365 #coloring pages for 2017 (I am at 354 for 12/16/17; began 1/1/17);
—HEALTH: to have attained a body weight of and remain in “onederland” (I am 2 pounds away from that goal, 12/15/17), which represents a weight loss of at least 50# since April, 2017.

Prediction of environmental trends. Scenarios. Goals.
SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time.
Resources. Feasible but stretching.
Actions. Specific, clear, integrated, fit with goals.
Changes: flexible and creative.

from FOUNDATION OF PLANNING, by Shannon Cain, http://slideplayer.com/slide/5299846/

National/Global #feasiblegoals for 2018:
— for the USA Congress to defeat the outrageous “tax cut” bill
— for the USA Congress repeal/outvote the ridiculous, greedy FCC vote so that we can maintain Net Neutrality
— for Special Counsel Robert Mueller to have definitely demonstrated the complicity/treason and guilt of Trump and his sons, Kushner, and VP Pence, signing their subpoenas and guaranteeing their removals, paving the way for a special election in 2018

National/Global #optimisticgoals for 2018:

from davidjrogersftw

— world peace/ending/preventing all wars and violent military actions, especially those with USA involvement
— an end to hunger and poverty around the world
— talks about a guaranteed personal annual income to have started in the USA
— cancellation of all student college debt and removal of all those who hold and offer such predatory loans
— national healthcare with no limitations and no cost to/for all
— for the USA to implement compassionate addiction programs including the decriminalizing and release from incarceration for all drug and alcohol violations/violators that do/did not involve other crimes (like in Portugal), and more adequate social support and counseling provided, free

from A Green Road Journal, http://www.agreenroadjournal.com/2013/09/drug-laws-in-portugal-more-progressive.html

— STOP all sexual harassers/assaulters (make sure they are all revealed, removed, incarcerated, stopped)
— all men removed from leadership/authority positions for sexual misconduct to be replaced by competent women (when possible) and non-offending men (when necessary)
— housing for all, such as tiny homes, apartments, platform tents and other appropriate housing provided free to all those without secure housing around the world

from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/17/tiny-homes-madison-wiscon_n_6171634.html

— freeing of all innocent and unfairly incarcerated individuals, and financial compensation provided to them for all time imprisoned and for losses (of family, jobs, reputation and mental/physical health)
— STOP GREED: removal of all tax shelters, foreign bank accounts and other hoarding locations (extra housing, yachts, cars, jewelry) from all who gained their wealth illegally and immorally; release of these ill-gotten gains to pay for many of the above
— release of all “illegal” immigrants from incarceration, no more criminalizing immigration/immigrants. Granting immediate citizenship to all who seek it, unless they are known to be criminals; OPEN THE BORDERS
— clean and accessible water and sufficient, healthy food for all those around the world

My personal #optimisticgoals:
— WRITING: finish writing and acquire funds to cover the costs of the cover for Volume IV and make a lot of progress with Volume V of The Spanners Series

— LIFE: make some more friends/have more of a social life
— do at least one 2-week Buddhist meditation retreat
— earn more money! get a PT job and/or find another way to earn more money regularly, within “right livelihood” principles. Could be from editing/proofreading, selling my sci-fi books, writing coaching/tutoring, working at a nonprofit organization, teaching

from Tention Free

If you’d like to help support the attaining of my personal Goals:
please check out my PayPal donation button on my website, http://www.sallyember.com (look right);
or,
go to my Patreon #crowdfunding page: http://www.patreon.com/sallyember Some donations earn “rewards,” which are explained on my Patreon pages.

Your goals? Please comment! http://www.sallyember.com/blog

What Kind of Role Model are You?

07/13/2015 by Sally Ember, EdD

What kind of role model are you?

It’s not only the young who are “sponges.” We all absorb the turns of language, interesting or repeated facial expressions and behaviors, expressed or implied values, clothing and hair choices, products and locations to engage with, music and most other entertainment from those around us throughout our lives.

image from http://keithferrazzi.com

Which of these: “giving back,” “spirituality,” “intellectual stimulation,” “physical wellness,” “financial success,” “professional growth” or “deep relationships” do you put the most time, energy, resources, money, courage and effort into accomplishing/improving?

Tell the truth.

It’s just between you and me, now.

Count the hours in each day. Count how many minutes/hours you spend engaged in tasks related to the above categories.

There’s your answer, like it or not.

I ask again: what kind of role model are you?

Every time you make a purchase and display, wear or use it, every choice you make that others can discover may influence someone. What you say, what you write, what you view, what you attend: almost everything we do, now, is tracked and used to influence what “producers” make available in the future.

Are you purchasing and using products with your ability to be an influencer in mind… always? sometimes? never?

When you speak, act, choose in front of children, they adopt or avoid what you choose, depending on the outcomes and their abilities to mimic. It is our responsibility to demonstrate being the kind of person we would want them to imitate. isn’t it?

image from http://www.magnamags.com

Research on motivation demonstrates that we have two distinct systems that influence our actions:

The approach system focuses us on the achievement of positive outcomes.
The avoidance system focuses us on preventing negative outcomes.

[from the April, 2015, issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, by Lucia Bosone, Frederic Martinez, and Nikos Kalampalikis, referenced in Are the People Close to You Good Role Models? … and why positive role models aren’t necessarily better than negative ones.
By Art Markman, Ph.D., Apr 08, 2015, in Ulterior Motives.
Reposted on Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ulterior-motives/201504/are-the-people-close-you-good-role-models]

Then, there is goal contagion: people adopt the goals of others, even without realizing that we are doing so. Learning of others’ goals via a kind of human osmosis that involves unconscious mirroring, imitation and copying, we attempt to do what others do when we believe that the outcomes are worth having.

When someone values what we do, what we have, our status or possessions, our ability to influence them goes up enormously. Research shows that “the influence of a role model is strongest when that role model fits the goal we are trying to achieve. Positive role-models, then, are most effective when we are approaching desirable states, while negative role-models are most effective when we are avoiding undesirable states.” We magnetize others to our goals by our examples of success, happiness, satisfaction, pleasure.

What kind of magnet are you?

More courage, motivation, energy, commitment and time: do you have any to spare? If so, you may be able to continue to work to achieve positive goals and to avoid negative outcomes. What do you have the most of that you can apply, for which of your goals? How consistently do you work toward each outcome you want and avoid each one you don’t want, simultaneously?

How devoted to your own goals are you?

Secondary problem: Many of us have a “rewards” system, especially if we are “thrill-seekers” or easily bored, that goes something like this: If/when we accomplish this task, we permit ourselves to do or have… However, that permission then provides us with exactly what we do not need or should not have (e.g., junk food, late nights or sleep-in mornings, recreational drugs, too much alcohol, unsafe or risky sexual encounters, dicey venues for “fun”) as a “reward.”

Accepting or accessing this “reward” then puts us in direct conflict with reaching our positive goals or avoiding negative consequences. How is that a “reward system,” then, and what does this demonstrate to others about who we are?

How involved in self-sabotage are you? What underlying messages are you communicating by these chains of behaviors and choices?

image from http://journal.frontiersin.org

I ask one more time: what kind of role model are you?

I can tell you the quickest way to get an answer to these self-assessment questions: hang around a child between the ages of 4 – 9 for an extended period of time, particularly in a role that puts you in charge, conferring authority, influence, access, trust and affection (raising, tending, nannying, teaching, parenting, etc.). You will find out within a few weeks exactly what kind of role model you are from that child. The child will begin to talk and act like you, try to do what and be what you do/are. Daily. Frequently. In almost no time at all, you’ll have acquired a little mini-mirror-you, walking, acting and talking as you do, right there for all the world to see.

For you to see.

Yikes.

Get to work improving yourself.

Fast.

“Trust the Process,” Guest Post by Krysten Lindsay Hager

04/15/2015 by Sally Ember, EdD

I am excited to host today’s post from another previous CHANGES conversations between authors’ guest (Episode 15; see below for links), blogger and author, Krysten Lindsay Hager

“Trust the Process”

Years ago, whenever I’d go to writing conferences, workshops, or critique groups, there was always one particular type of writer that showed up and made me feel anxious. I would wonder what I was doing with my life and/or career. It wasn’t that this person’s success made me question my work; they’d say something that seemed to imply that if we were not getting our work published, then we didn’t count as “real writers.”

I joined a critique group a few years ago that got me back into enjoying the very act of writing again. I found that having regular meetings was keeping me accountable and I enjoyed getting constructive criticism and feedback. I also appreciated talking about the story with people who were on the journey with me and my characters.

Then, another person came along with the constant talk about all the agents and editors they had met and often dismissing anything that wasn’t “hot” in the industry at the moment. I’ll never forget the day I brought a chapter of my young adult novel to read and I was excited to share it, but right before I went to read, this person declared that no agent or editor would ever be interested in my novel because it was written in first person. Her tone very dismissive, as if I shouldn’t even bother. I sat there feeling so small. I went on to read, but even I could hear the insecurity in my voice. I sounded like a little kid who had been reprimanded.

I went home that night and started to think about my story, how writing it and editing it had brought me so much joy. I had begun to rewrite that novel during a difficult time for me. I had gotten sick and was dealing with a whole new way of life. That story had brought me back, so to speak.

It hit me that the point of the writing process for me hadn’t been whether or not this piece got published, but the enjoyment I got from writing and working on it and sharing it with other people who enjoyed it as well. As I folded laundry that night (doing laundry is my stress reliever), I realized that there was more to writing than just getting to what some called the final destination—-publication. It was about the journey for me.

So, a few weeks later, I returned to the group, determined not to let this person into my head. They again put out little comments about how I shouldn’t bother with a first-person narrative, but this time I took it as an opinion and not the final word.

That night, I started reading a book called The Creative Call, which talks a lot about how it’s not about what the work can do for you or getting it published, but what the work can do for others. Reading that took the pressure off.

However, when I mentioned this very thing to my writing group a few weeks later, some of them weren’t receptive to it. A few of them had publication as their only goal. That’s fine, but for me, this was what I choose to believe: that I would do the work and leave the outcome (and my ego) out of what would make this story successful in my eyes. Even if the book were never published, I felt that writing, finishing, sharing and enjoying it would be enough for me.

A week after I finished reading The Creative Call, I realized that maybe I should send out my young adult novel, True Colors, to see if it would be something that might help teens dealing with the similar self-esteem/self-image and other young teen issues that my character faces. I knew that trying to navigate through upper elementary and middle school while attempting to fit in as well as dealing with frenemies and mean girls would resonate with many readers. I submitted the story.

In less than two months, I got a contract for the book. I remember sitting at my computer staring at that acceptance email and I felt a calmness come over me. It felt as if a weight had been lifted. I guess I had always assumed I’d be dancing around the room, but it was more like a confirmation that writing was the right path for me. I knew that I was supposed to share my novel. Receiving the contract and knowing that the book (my first book in the Landry’s True Colors Series) was going to be published ended up not being about me at all, but more about what I could share with others.

The books I have written as part of this series are the ones I would have wanted to read at that age. The first one was now going out there into the world, which said to me that maybe there kids out there who need to read about these issues.

A lot of people go into writing wanting fame, money, etc., but I think that takes away from the purpose of writing a book. It’s not what you can get out of it, it’s what you can give back. For me, it has been about those messages and comments I’ve gotten from people who say that, when they see my character, Landry, and her insecurities and worries, they feel less alone in what they are going through. When I heard about a teen who had been upset about dealing with being left out by people she had called “best friends,” then she had read my book and gotten perspective on the situation, well, that made me happier than I was the day I signed that first contract. It made me feel that I had a purpose.

Sure, it took me a while to get to a place where I saw the benefits of enjoying the journey and not focusing on the end goal or numbers. However, it has been so gratifying to appreciate the writing process more fully and to feel connected to my greater purpose.

About Krysten:

(author photo courtesy of Shannon DiGiacomo)

Krysten Lindsay Hager is a book addict who has never met a bookstore she didn’t like. She’s worked as a journalist and writes middle grade, YA, humor essays, and adult fiction. She is the author of the Landry’s True Colors Series. Originally from Michigan, Krysten has lived in Portugal and South Dakota; she currently resides in Southern Ohio, where you can find her reading and writing, when she’s not catching up on her favorite shows. She received her master’s degree from the University of Michigan-Flint.

Connect with Krysten Lindsay Hager:
Website: http://www.krystenlindsay.com/
Instagram: http://instagram.com/krystenlindsay
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KrystenLindsayHagerAuthor
Twitter: @KrystenLindsay
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8298036.Krysten_Lindsay_Hager
Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/Krysten-Lindsay-Hager/e/B00L2JC9P2/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1
Book trailer provided by Videos by O.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFp2fPFbvTQ&feature=youtu.be

If you enjoyed this post, please comment/like it here AND go visit Krysten’s sites.

Here is the cover of Best Friends Forever, Book Two in her Landry’s True Colors Series:

Krysten Lindsay Hager was my guest on Episode 15 of CHANGES conversations between authors. Watch conversations with my previous CHANGES guests any time:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPbfKicwk4dFdeVSAY1tfhtjaEY_clmfq

Learn more about and get yourself or recommend someone to be scheduled as a guest: https://sallyember.com/changes-videocasts-by-sally-ember-ed-d/

Want to be a guest blogger on my site? Visit my “Guest Bloggers Hall of Fame” to review other guest posts, read my guidelines and then contact me if you’re interested: http://www.sallyember.com/guest-bloggers-hall-of-fame/

#Crowdfunding with #Patreon: Sally Ember’s Campaign Needs Your Support!

12/09/2014 by Sally Ember, EdD

#Crowdfunding with #Patreon: Sally Ember’s Campaign Needs Your Support!

If you are in the “giving” mood this month, as many are, or any time after December, 2014, please consider becoming a Patreon member (free) and supporter of creative people? You could help us to achieve particular goals, complete projects, and acquire enough general financial support to keep being creative.

Sally Ember, Ed.D.

What’s unique about Patreon‘s site and its campaigns is that donors and creative petitioners have the chance to interact via messages and also by the recipient’s offer of “rewards” as “thank-you” gifts, services, or products.

Sally (I) put on this campaign’s “rewards” page several options based on amounts of donations (first starts with a donation as low as $4.00), which include free ebooks, editing/proofreading services of increasing size for increasing donations, and other rewards in the future.

THE PITCH VIDEO:
http://youtu.be/f8nYsfjm_aU?list=UUqnZuobf0YTCiP6silDDL2w

Please visit, watch the pitch video, share, and consider becoming a Patreon patron.

Help fund a book cover, sound equipment upgrade and conversion of videos to podcasts, conversion of ebooks to print books and becoming available as Print-On-Demand (POD) books and/or provide any size donation to go towards the general financial support of a working #writer, CHANGES Google+ Hangout On Air (#HOA) talk show host and blogger who supports other #indie #authors.

Thanks, Happy Holidays, happy creating and happy reading!

THE PATREON PAGE:

http://www.patreon.com/sallyember