Check out Tonya R. Moore‘s site today, 10-29-15… featuring my new release in The Spanners Series!
http://tonyarmoore.com/2015/10/this-isis-not-the-way-i-want-things-to-change-by-sally-ember/
Last *#CHANGES* Episode (46) of 2015 is TODAY, 10/28/15, 10 AM Eastern time USA
Last CHANGES Episode (46) of 2015 is TODAY, 10/28/15, 10 AM Eastern time USA, a live videocast on Google+ Hangouts On Air (#HOA) and #YouTube, with guest, author of Ageless, Paul Inman, and host, Sally Ember, Ed.D., blogger and author of The Spanners Series (about to release Volume III for pre-orders 11/1/15): http://www.sallyember.com for more info, links, book trailers, interviews, excerpts, blurbs.
Tune in for a great, free-flowing, hour-long conversation between authors about science-fiction #scifi, #education/ #teaching, #films and #filmmaking, #music/ #musicians, #photography, #writing #contests and much more, especially if YOU bring up a topic!
Join in on: https://plus.google.com/…/events/caksv6ap8v0ci6tsm55cm0lbg44 while we’re live, in advance, or afterwards, if you “ping” us. Looking forward to your questions and comments.
OPENINGS for CHANGES in mid-January, 2016, and beyond! CHANGES conversations between authors is a LIVE G+HOA/Youtube talk show (not an “author interview”!) almost weekly, Wed., 10 – 11 AM Eastern USA time, that seeks guests! Welcoming new/seasoned authors of any age, genre, publication method!
Watch conversations with previous CHANGES guests any time: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPbfKicwk4dFdeVSAY1tfhtjaEY_clmfq
Learn more about and get yourself on or recommend someone to be scheduled as a guest for CHANGES: https://sallyember.com/changes-videocasts-by-sally-ember-ed-d/
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Sally Ember is NOT on Dr. Afshan Hashmi’s Radio Show, 10-27-15
Dr. Afshan Hashmi hosts a Blog Talk Radio show at
3 PM Eastern time, USA, and I was NOT able to be on as a GUEST due to technical difficulties.
Also had technical difficulties with Blog Talk Radio had to reschedule from 10/19/15, so
now giving up!
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#COVER #REVEAL on Alesha Escobar’s site for The Spanners Series’ ebook of Vol III
#COVER #REVEAL on Alesha Escobar‘s site for The Spanners Series’ ebook of Vol III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change, by Sally Ember, Ed.D., TODAY! 10/26/15, part of the 10-Volume science-fiction/ romance/ multiverse/ utopian series from 
!
Thanks, Alesha!
http://www.aleshaescobar.com/cover-reveal-the-spanner-series-by-sallyemberedd/
Cover art and logo by WillowRaven.
Volume III goes into pre-orders on 11/1/15 at half-price, @$1.99.
Full release of Volume III’s ebook on 12/8/15 @$3.99, with print books for that and Volumes I and II available late this fall as well.
Watch this space: http://www.sallyember.com for announcements, links, book trailers and more.
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Announcing: Timult Books!
Announcing the formation of my own small press:
For now, Timult Books (pronounced with the long “i” as it “eye”) publishes print and ebook versions of The Spanners Series, which are science-fiction/ romance/ multiverse/ psi-infused/ utopian stories for adults, Young and New Adults about our alternative present(s) and near future(s).
Soon, I may accept others’ publications or write some of my own that are not part of that series. All publications are somehow to be related to the science-fiction/ speculative fiction themes of timultaneity, timulting, timult (these are terms invented by my actual son, Merlyn Ember, for and Clara Branon’s son, Zephyr Branon in The Spanners Series).
The terms refer to the simultaneous nature of all time and the multiple timelines in our multiverse (timultaneity) which some people have the special skill to be able to be perceiving/”seeing” and “knowing” (which is timulting). When they use their skills to look into various possible and actual “presents,” “pasts” and “futures,” that person is said to timult their own and/or others’ events, circumstances and lives.
These URLs, below, are now mine. For a while, they all redirect to THIS site (http://www.sallyember.com) and are not developed at all, until I decide to put in the time to have a separate website for the publication company. When I am ready, I’ll be using the first one only, timultbooks.com .
http://timultbooks.com
http://timultbooks.net
http://timultbooks.org
http://timultbooks.info
(I purchased the other three so no one can use them and confuse anyone by having anything that is not published by MY company on those sites.)
If you are an indie author who would like to have your writing, either fiction of the speculative / science-fiction genre, such as short stories, novellas, novelettes, novels, graphic novels, or poetry, screenplays, nonfiction or essays that utilize these themes or topics to be developed under this imprint and wear the banner of , contact me at sallyember AT yahoo DOT com .
I provide the services of editing, formatting, proofreading, writing tutoring for variable and negotiable hourly rates.
I also offer marketing and other types of support and assistance for a small fee or barter, regardless of how your books are published.
If your writing fits into the Timult Books‘ themes and you want to “join” my small press, let’s talk!
If you’re feeling congratulatory, supportive, and are somewhat “flush” and/or want to celebrate my writing, videocasts and publishing accomplishments and hope for more, please consider a contribution to my #crowdfunding campaign (which entitles you to “rewards” ranging from a free ebook to discounts on my services to writers), at http://www.patreon.com/sallyember
OR use the PayPal donation button on my site (look to the right sidebar) for a non-reward contribution opportunity.
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I am putting The Spanners Series’ ebooks into print!
I am putting The Spanners Series’ first three Volumes of ebooks into print-on-demand!
Announcement: NEED FUNDING HELP!
image from http://www.kevinsmithukip.com
As soon as I can raise the money to purchase my 10 ISBNs, I can put my print editions up for sale on Amazon via CreateSpace! Turns out it is important for series authors to have their own International Standard Book Numbers (ISBNs) and for indie authors to retain the publisher’s rights by owning their ISBNs rather than allowing the original purchaser of the ISBN to be listed as the “publisher.” Therefore, I have to forego the free and discounted ISBNs provided everywhere and buy my own.
If you’d like to support putting my books into print, please use either my #Crowdfunding Campaign site: http://www.patreon.com/sallyember, which entitles you to “rewards,” such as a free ebook ($4.00 donation) and/or discounted proofreading, editing or writing tutoring, depending upon the size of your donation and how many get there before you, or
the PayPal Donate button here on my site http://www.sallyember.com allows you to contribute any amount to my effort.
10 ISBNs cost $295 if purchased together, which is a great deal because buying a single ISBN costs $125, if purchased separately.
So, I hope I am finally doing it! Got my formatting gloves on, cracking my knuckles and biting all bullets.
My original cover art will carry over (THANKS, WillowRaven!), and all other aspects will be faithful to the ebook versions, with a few surprise additions.
Special thanks to Annie Douglas Lima for posting a guide to doing this so that I can use the Print on Demand feature of CreateSpace on Amazon, and to Madeline Duffy for providing a template I could revise and use.
Volume I is ready as of 10/20/15!… just need the cash for ISBNs
I plan to have each Volume of the three published so far ready for sale as print books no later than December 12, 2015.
Wish me luck! Contribute! Tell your friends!
image from http://powerthruconsulting.com
Watch this space for release dates and purchase links.
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This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series, sci-fi/ romance/ utopian space opera, is featured on eReader Obsession today and is FREE!
This Changes Everything, Volume I, The Spanners Series, sci-fi/ romance/ utopian space opera, is featured on eReader Obsession today and is FREE!
Just in time for you to get started on The Spanners Series and be ready for 11/1/15 pre-orders for Volume III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change, which is 50% off through 12/7/15, @$1.99, then $3.99 for release on 12/8/15.
Volume II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, is $3.99. All ebooks on Amazon, Smashwords, iTunes, nook and Kobo.
http://www.ereaderobsession.com
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Free!
Dystopian, disease-ridden #scifi: not my cup of tea. HOWEVER, if you like these, this is great deal (Volume I is free tomorrow, 10/15/15) and a new release! Good luck, James Garner!
Reblogged on WordPress.com
Source: Free!
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How did he know all this about ME? LOL
It sometimes seems that so much of the Buddhist path is simply learning how to get out of one’s own way.
http://www.existentialbuddhist.com/2015/10/getting-out-of-our-own-way
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#Author #Interview on “Authors Interviews” with Fiona McVie 10-11-15
Check out my interview on Fiona McVie’s site, Authors Interviews, yesterday!
Thanks, Fiona!
https://authorsinterviews.wordpress.com/2015/10/11/here-is-my-interview-with-sally-ember/
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How to Prepare your Manuscript for Paperback Publication through CreateSpace
There are also great guides in addition to this one, for #formatting #ebooks into #print or vice versa or MS Word into either form, PLUS free #promotional lists of sites (for free or paid promotions if your book is free) from Annie Douglass Lima
#bookmarketing #authors #writers #indiepub #selfpublishing
Source: How to Prepare your Manuscript for Paperback Publication through CreateSpace
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The global publishing market is now worth $100 billion, and other global snippets for indie internationalist authors.
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I am pretty sure Republicans would be fine with abortion if a gun were involved
Too many guns. Not enough good and accessible mental health care. Too many Republicans. Not enough respect for all human life.
HELEN:
Margaret, within minutes of the President saying that he would be accused of politicizing this latest shooting, right on schedule Fox News accused him of politicizing it. I swear the yahoos over at that network could start an argument all alone in an empty room.
How many times does our a President have to go on television to ask for our prayers and our thoughts before our elected officials decide to pass sensible gun laws? Why in the world do we think it should be easier and less expensive to get guns than it is to get mental health treatment?
Crazy people fire guns at will these days and politicians have nothing to say except our thoughts and prayers are with the victims. But a women makes the private decision to end an unwanted or unhealthy pregnancy and those same politicians cry murder and pass laws faster than a…
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2015 #MacArthur Fellows: 24 Extraordinarily Creative People Who Inspire Us All
Let’s celebrate extraordinary and amazing and beneficial and FUN people! I first heard about these annual awards when they were only about $200,000 and they were called “Genius Grants.”
The cool thing about this award is that the group of people who nominate and select these individuals every year are ANONYMOUS and it is apparently impossible to discover their identities. This protects the process from corruption, one would hope.
I’ve heard that the recipient gets a phone call “out of the blue,” since they don’t even know they’re being considered, to announce that they are selected and about to receive one of our highest honors and a huge cash award.
The idea behind these awards is that the Fellows can then “quit their day jobs” or work less for money while living on the investments/cash they get/accumulate from this award. That liberates them to pursue their genius ideas even further! YEAH!
I also love that they make a concerted effort and usually succeed in finding obscure, diverse, interesting and helpful people to whom to give this important award each year. Check out the 2015 cohort!
Spread the word! Read about these people and their projects to youth and adults to inspire us all to be better! There is no upper age limit on recipients, either!
2015 MacArthur Fellows: 24 Extraordinarily Creative People Who Inspire Us All
Recognizing 24 exceptionally creative individuals with a track record of achievement and the potential for significant contributions in the future, the Foundation today named the 2015 MacArthur Fellows. Fellows will each receive a no-strings-attached stipend of $625,000, allowing recipients maximum freedom to follow their own creative visions.
“These 24 delightfully diverse MacArthur Fellows are shedding light and making progress on critical issues, pushing the boundaries of their fields, and improving our world in imaginative, unexpected ways,” said MacArthur President Julia Stasch. “Their work, their commitment, and their creativity inspire us all.”
https://www.macfound.org/fellows/class/2015/
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#Health Myths Busted: #Gluten Sensitivity is Mostly A Fad, Not Actual Gluten Intolerance
#Health Myths Busted: #Gluten Sensitivity is Mostly A Fad, Not Actual Gluten Intolerance
image from http://nugonutrition.com
According to many researchers and recent research in both the UK and the USA, fewer than 6%, and many say closer to 1% of the general population actually suffer from #Celiac disease, which does make humans unable to digest gluten. In fact: “Ninety-nine percent of individuals [this doctor sees] who report gluten sensitivity, however, do not have celiac disease….”
Research like this utilizes a method called “double-blind,” which means not only do the test subjects not know, but the researchers do not know, either, whom is receiving the “treatment” or substance being tested and whom is receiving the fake, or placebo substance, until after the research period has ended.
What did they discover about self-diagnosed gluten sensitivity?
“The placebo effect is much greater for subjective symptoms (such as those of patients with self-diagnosed gluten sensitivity) than is appreciated. It is seen in 20% to 40% [of] individuals. That is, of patients who report an improvement in symptoms by eliminating gluten, 20% to 40% are NOT improved. They THINK they are improved….[A]lmost all have had their symptoms return or continue with reduced severity despite continuing the [gluten-free] diet.”
image from http://allergiesandyourgut.com
Back and forth we go, with individuals making great claims at parties, schools, family dinners and restaurants about their inability to digest gluten despite not having been diagnosed formally with Celiac disease. People around them are getting frustrated, with good reason.
“[A]fter years of debating the existence of nonceliac gluten sensitivity, a scientifically rigorous study has been done that sheds light on the issue. In this study, 37 patients with self-reported gluten sensitivity, well-controlled on a gluten-free diet, were studied….[T]he group of patients with self-reported gluten sensitivity were not gluten-sensitive when tested.”
[all above quotes from link, below]
http://www.medicinenet.com/nonceliac_gluten_sensitivity_intolerance/article.htm
What are we to do, then, we who want to support our loved ones and help them be healthy, feel good, not feel negatively judged by us?
This is a dilemma, because it is difficult to determine what is causing these people’s symptoms when they do not have actual Celiac disease or wheat allergies. A number of causes could be in effect, in varying combinations, some of which cannot actually be proven to exist in each person other than through dietary trial-and-error, which, as we have seen, often fails to provide factual data due to psychological interference.
“Unlike wheat allergy and coeliac disease, gluten sensitivity does not have a known set of biomarkers — doctors can’t tell if a patient is suffering from [gluten sensitivity] by examination (although there is a blood test, it doesn’t give accurate results for many patients). So [gluten sensitivity] can only be diagnosed by first ruling out other diseases and then trying out a gluten-free diet.”
Okay. So, we tolerate our friends, relatives, co-workers and neighbors as they attempt to figure out what is causing their discomfort, bloating, gas, pain, etc., but our patience is wearing thin, isn’t it? We may think that their self-diagnosed gluten problems are just the latest in a string of dietary and health fads that cause attention-seekers to become obsessed and challenging to be around, for the rest of us, don’t we?
Maybe these people mostly want to lose weight? Wrong method, though.
image from http://www.livestrong.com
Similar to the “fat-free” trend, which caused many to over-eat the so-called “fat-free” foods while clearly gaining weight due to ingesting extra calories, not in the form of fats and oils, but still getting a lot of carbs and sugars, gluten-free is no solution to weight problems, either.
“‘If you go on a gluten-free diet, taking substitutes like gluten-free beer, pasta, cookies and so on, if anything, you gain weight. If you take a regular cookie, it’s 70 calories. The same cookie, gluten-free, can go as high as 210 calories. You have to substitute gluten with something that makes that cookie palatable, so you have to load it with fat and sugars. Just consider that. A gram of protein is four calories, a gram of fat is nine.’
“But, [Fasano] adds, it may be possible to lose weight on a gluten-free diet by choosing natural products like fresh fish, meat, vegetables and fruit.”
To add insult to injury, gluten-free products are pricier than ordinary versions of the same foods.
Maybe the answer, for weight loss, is to eat foods that are both fat-free and gluten-free. Of course, those are also likely to be taste- and flavor-free. Take away the MSG, too, and you may as well drink water or eat cardboard.
[above quotes from link, below]
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-33486177
Summary
Should we or shouldn’t we eat gluten-free, then?
First, how difficult is it to eat gluten-free? VERY, but getting easier.
“To avoid gluten, you have to stay away from all wheat-based foods and ingredients, from white and whole-wheat flours to kamut, spelt, semolina, and wheat bran and germ.
“That means no bread, pasta, couscous, cookies, cakes, muffins, pastries, cereals, crackers, gravies, or beer. Less obviously, it also means no soy sauce, bouillon cubes, candies, food starch, fried foods, or even oats if they’re processed in the same facility as wheat.”
Second, who benefits from a gluten-free diet, besides those with verified Celiac disease and/or wheat allergies?
image from http://www.theguardian.com
“[T]here is some evidence to suggest gluten-free eating patterns can also improve symptoms in people with irritable bowel syndrome, rheumatoid arthritis, type 1 diabetes, and psoriasis.”
However, they may be getting relief from their symptoms not because of avoiding gluten, but because of avoiding FODMAPs.
“[P]eople who say their symptoms improve on a gluten-free diet may actually be reacting to another set of carbohydrates in wheat called called FODMAPs (Fermentable Oligosaccharides, Disaccharides, Monosaccharides and Polyols). In other words, it’s not the gluten that’s bothering people, but other sugars found in wheat.”
Third, be cautious. There is evidence that people who follow this diet who do not need to be on it and who do not track the supplements they’re missing out on and replace them could be doing themselves more harm than good.
“‘People who follow a gluten-free diet may have low levels of certain vitamins and nutrients in their diets.’ These include iron, calcium, fiber, and folate. ‘Along with fruits and vegetables, the most common sources of dietary fiber are whole-grain breads and cereals, which contain gluten,’ the University of Washington’s gluten-free primer states. ‘Many people on gluten-free diets tend to eat inadequate amounts of fiber, which may lead to constipation.'”
Also, we now know that we need certain types of bacteria to flourish in our guts/intestines, and when they do not, we can suffer greatly everything from indigestion to depression, many worse problems than bloating. “Going gluten-free may also reduce the amount of beneficial bacteria in your gut, which has implications for immune system function.”
[above quotes from link, below]
http://www.vox.com/2015/4/30/8517749/gluten-free-diet-nutrition-celiac-disease
image from http://lifeonmanitoulin.com
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The Invisible Late-Night Knapsack.
Excellent, thoughtful article referencing one of the most intelligent pieces ever written (by Peggy McIntosh, which I read when it came out in 1988) about #racism, #privilege, and, by extension, #sexism and other oppressions, leading us all into more awareness of #intersectionality, which is long over due.
Late-night USA TV is horribly un-diverse and getting WORSE, not better, Trevor Noah’s hiring aside.
Thanks for writing and sharing.
Source: The Invisible Late-Night Knapsack.
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Wise Teacher, Wise Student: Tibetan Approaches to a Healthy Relationship – Book Review by Sally Ember, Ed.D., featured on The Buddhist Door website
Wise Teacher, Wise Student: Tibetan Approaches to a Healthy Relationship – Book Review by Sally Ember, Ed.D., featured on The Buddhist Door website
Thanks to Frances McDonald and others at The Buddhist Door for this opportunity to be a reviewer for your site! As a long-time student of #meditation (since 1972) and a #Buddhism student since 1996 in the #Tibetan #Vajrayana tradition, I was pleased to review this book.
Anyone interested in knowing more about how to choose a spiritual teacher or mentor and all the varying types of these there can be, how to be in a better relationship with one or more than one teacher, how and why to end that relationship, and what its pitfalls might be, and so much more, would benefit greatly from reading this book and keeping it around to refer to frequently.
Please read this review and support The Buddhist Door!
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USA National Punctuation Day® is TODAY! 9/24/15
One of my all-time favorite non-holidays!
USA National Punctuation Day® is TODAY! September 24, 2015
Jeff Rubin, Founder
Also, every year there is a CONTEST! YES! Sharpen your red pencils!
National Punctuation Day® 2015 contest will be announced on September 24
National Punctuation Day® will celebrate its 11th anniversary on September 24 with an homage to one of America’s greatest comedians and talk-show hosts.
As always, essays of no more than 250 words will be accepted through October 31 at Jeff@NationalPunctuationDay.com
Please check back on National Punctuation Day (NPD) — September 24 — for contest details.
I’m guessing Jon Stewart of The Daily Show, but you’ll have to visit today to find out!
PLEASE visit Jeff’s website, where he has explanations of EVERY type of punctuation WITH PHOTOS of those used in English, AND pages of info and resources, like “Punctuation Products” and “Punctuation Playtime Program”!
He also has great posters/signage of excellent punctuation mistakes, videos, radio spots, schools’ participation pix, newspaper coverage of NPD (even right here in St. Louis, MO! http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/metro/article_1f62ba8c-ca53-5080-8fdd-db4fd0b8513f.html from 2011, but you can no longer read the article), and much more!
Most unusual tribute? Video of a Punctuation Rap Song by Dots N Dashes: https://youtu.be/4vYrws3766Q The participants make punctuation marks on the football field, as if they were a marching band. Hilarious.
http://www.NationalPunctuationDay.com
Got a photo of an incorrectly punctuated sign?
E-mail it to Jeff Rubin and it will be posted on the
National Punctuation Day® web site–—with a photo credit!
Jeff@NationalPunctuationDay.com
Here are the most recent bad punctuation photo gallery submissions:
http://www.nationalpunctuationday.com/badpunctpictures27.html
Jeff also does presentations and answers your punctuation questions: (510) 724-9507
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10 Days. 10 Questions: #10Q
10 Days. 10 Questions.
If you are Jewish or celebrate Jewish holidays, sunset on 9/13/15 began Rosh Hashonah, the #Jewish New Year: L’Shana Tovah (May you have a sweet and healthy New Year)!
Whether you observe Jewish holidays as a #Jew or Jewish ally or are interested in Jewish customs and new traditions, you may be interested in this new tradition, #10Q, for personal growth and reflection. The “10” refers to the 10 days that include the first day of the two-day Rosh Hashonah celebration and the Day of Atonement—Yom Kippur—September 22-23, on the other end.
There are many traditions associated with each of these holidays and the days between, but I do not practice them because I am not an observant Jew; I am a practicing #Buddhist. However, last year I found out about 10Q and really appreciated it. So, I did it in 2014 and I am doing it again this year.
Just a reminder: the 10Q site goes into lockdown at the end of Sunday, September 27th. You have till then to fill in your answers and send them to the Vault for safe-keeping. After that, you won’t be able to see the answers until next year–and if you don’t send them into the Vault, you won’t ever see them again. Once you submit, you can relax and look forward to the eve of Rosh Hashanah 2016, when your 2015 answers will be coming back to you.
I recently received my responses to last year’s questions, received earlier this week, as promised (see below for explanation of 10Q). It was fascinating to me to read what I had written because, as many of you know, I suffered a severe brain injury in April of 2014; last fall, I was still in very bad shape, mentally. I don’t even remember much about writing these responses much less what I wrote, so it was with great curiosity that I opened the reporting email with my responses inside.
These 10Q‘s 10 questions (one for each of the 10 days) are very personal; I do not choose to share my responses. But, I will say this: the exercise of responding is a great one, regardless of your religious affiliation.
Summary: I achieved many of the goals and aspirations I put out in my responses!
I heartily encourage each of you to visit this site and respond to the questions, starting on Rosh Hashonah, 2015, which is tomorrow, Sunday, 9/13/15. Read more about 10Q and then click on a link or two, below.
There are/were also live 10Q events happening in New York City, Los Angeles and San Francisco (see below) and perhaps elsewhere, or you could have one. Check these out!
May all beings benefit.
Answer one question per day in your own secret online 10Q space. Make your answers serious. Silly. Salacious. However you like. It’s your 10Q.
When you’re finished, hit the magic button and your answers get sent to the secure online 10Q vault for safekeeping.
One year later, the vault will open and your answers will land back in your email inbox for private reflection.
Want to keep them secret? Perfect. Want to share them, either anonymously or with attribution, with the wider 10Q community? You can do that too.
Next year, the whole process begins again. And the year after that, and the year after that.
Do you 10Q? You should.
Click here to get your 10Q on.
10Q began September 13th, 2015
10Q: Reflect. React. Renew.
Life’s Biggest Questions. Answered By You.
10Q LINKS:
http://doyou10q.com/about
http://doyou10q.com/faq
http://blog.doyou10q.com/
10Q 2015 QUESTIONS (I plan to add one each of the 10 days):
“1. Describe a significant experience that has happened in the past year. How did it affect you? Are you grateful? Relieved? Resentful? Inspired?”
“2. Is there something that you wish you had done differently this past year? Alternatively, is there something you’re especially proud of from this past year?”
“3. Think about a major milestone that happened with your family this past year. How has this affected you?”\
“4. Describe an event in the world that has impacted you this year. How? Why?”
“5. Have you had any particularly spiritual experiences this past year? How has this experience affected you? ‘Spiritual’ can be broadly defined to include secular spiritual experiences: artistic, cultural, and so forth.”
“6. Describe one thing you’d like to achieve by this time next year. Why is this important to you?”
“7. How would you like to improve yourself and your life next year? Is there a piece of advice or counsel you received in the past year that could guide you?”
“8. Is there something (a person, a cause, an idea) that you want to investigate more fully in 2016?”
“9. What is a fear that you have and how has it limited you? How do you plan on letting it go or overcoming it in the coming year?”
“10. When September 2016 rolls around and you receive your answers to your 10Q questions, how do you think you’ll feel? What do you think/hope might be different about your life and where you’re at as a result of thinking about and answering these questions?”
“BONUS Q: What are your predictions for 2016?”
10Q 2015 EVENTS:
San Francisco:
Ctrl + Alt + Del: Tashlique at Ocean Beach
Sept. 14, 2015, 5 p.m. – 7 p.m.
Ocean Beach near Fulton (across from Beach Chalet)
FREE
https://www.facebook.com/events/1624398931151639/
Reset your system with our modern spin on a 600-year-old Rosh Hashanah ritual called tashlique. This custom of ridding ourselves of all our bad vuggum (karma) from the previous year and getting a fresh start for the new one is traditionally enacted by tossing bread into the ocean. Join us by the shore at Ocean Beach (near Fulton) for a brief, engaging ritual and joyful noise accompaniment from shofar* blowers, bag pipers, members of Jazz Mafia and the Ministers of Sound of the Saint John Will-I-Am Coltrane African Orthodox Church. Bring stale bread to share and a shofar, if you have one, to blow along with some of San Francisco’s finest players. Enjoy our twist on the traditional sweet with s’mores and Rocky’s Fry Bread.
New York City
September 23, 2015, 6 – 9 PM
Los Angeles
One Day Retreat in Topanga, CA: Reflect & Renew
September 19, 2015, all day
Facilitated by Michael Kass & Zoe Gillis
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“Fall into #Reading” #Sale at Clean Indie Reads: 9/23 – 9/27/15!
the “Fall into #Reading” #Sale at Clean Indie Reads: 9/23 – 9/27/15!
This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, Volume II, The Spanners Series, by Sally Ember, Ed.D., usually $3.99, is now $1.99
if you use this coupon code MT97Q on Smashwords only: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/424969
This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, #scifi, #romance, #utopian, #multiverse #psi
for Adults, YA/NA
Volume II, The Spanners Series, by Sally Ember, Ed.D.
Intrigued by multiple timelines, #aliens, psi skills, #romance and planetary change? Clara and the alien “Band” are back.
Now as Chief Communicator, Clara leads the way for interspecies communication on- and off-planet. Fighting these changes are the Psi-Defiers, led by one of the oldest friends of the Chief of the Psi-Warriors, its reluctant leader, Rabbi Moran Ackerman. Stories from younger Spanners about the first five years of The Transition fill Volume II.
How would YOU do with the changes?
Volume I, This Changes Everything, is permaFree everywhere ebooks are sold!
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HFELTG8
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/376197
Volume III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change, goes into pre-orders 11/1/15 – 12/7/15 @$1.99 and releases 12/8/15 @$3.99 on Amazon, Smashwords and its affiliates, including Kobo, iBooks/iTunes and nook. Check http://www.sallyember.com for links after 10/31/15.
Cover art and logo by Aidana Willowraven: http://www.willowraven-illustration.blogspot.com/
Cover reveal for Volume III happens on 10/26/15: http://www.aleshaescobar.com
Check out all the other ebooks and print books for the “Fall into Reading” Sale at Clean Indie Reads.
Sale runs from noon, 9/23/15 – midnight, 9/27/15, Eastern USA time!
http://www.cleanindiereadsale.com
Clean Indie Reads is a great group of independently or self-published fiction and children’s book authors who write in a variety of genres and styles, always keeping it PG- or G-rated. Promising “flinch-free” fiction, we who belong to CIR provide stories without graphic violence, blatant traumas, detailed sex scenes, or gratuitous swearing.
Visit us any time! http://cleanindiereads.com/
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The Loss of Innocence
#Triggerwarning
What’s so horrible about this sad and awful post reporting #sexualassaults and other #violent #crimes that involve #youth as perpetrators as well as victims is that, if s/he worked in law enforcement or news reporting in the USA, the descriptions and lists of crimes and incidents s/he is aware of would be longer and worse, and even more terrible, would involve even younger kids and a lot more shootings/guns.
Source: The Loss of Innocence
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Science Fact or Fantasy? 20 Imaginary Worlds
I came across this post and laughed! Also, considered my own Spanners Series alternate history/future of Earth in a new light!
Science Fact or Fantasy? 20 Imaginary Worlds
by Charles Q. Choi, Live Science Contributor | January 08, 2012
Star Wars; Jurassic Park; Star Trek; Narnia; Firefly; Oz; Tolkein’s Middle Earth; The Matrix; Niven’s Ringworld; Fantastica (Neverending Story); Avatar‘s Pandora; I, Robot; Minority Report, Stargate, 2001: A Space Odyssey; Blade Runner; Alien Nation‘s LA; The Terminator; 12 Colonies of Kobol; Alien
http://www.livescience.com/17796-science-fiction-imaginary-worlds-countdown.html
Find out more about my sci-fi/romance/multiverse/utopian ebooks: Volume I, This Changes Everything, The Spanners Series, which is permafree;
Volume II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, $3.99;
and the upcoming release of Volume III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change, which goes into pre-orders at half-price, $1.99, for 11/1/15 – 12/7/15 and releases at $3.99 12/8/15
at: http://www.sallyember.com
Look right; scroll down for links, reviews, interviews, book trailers… MORE!
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The Gendered Nature of Being Unencumbered
Great post and insights. Totally different story, though, when you’re a “plus-size” female or wearing those clothes. Plenty of pockets, because no one is concerned with the “male gaze,” or the “sight line” for any reason whatso ever. Hilarious, right? Gain enough weight and you can be unencumbered, same as guys. LOL
Source: The Gendered Nature of Being Unencumbered
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#BookMarketing: What I haven’t done and intend to do soon
Thanks to Doris-Maria Heilmann of Savvy Book Writers for her Free Checklist for “Passive” Book Marketing, I now have (and am sharing) a great list and resources within it. Link below.
http://www.savvybookwriters.com/free-checklist-for-passive-book-marketing/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+SavvyBookWriters+%28Savvy+Book+Writers%29
#BookMarketing: What I haven’t done and intend to do soon
Never heard about this!
“Bowker’s Worldwide Listing”
http://www.bowkerlink.com
“You may know Bowker from ordering your ISBN numbers, but they are also the provider for “Books In Print and Global Books In Print” that contain listings of bibliographical information for international book titles available in the USA or any other part of the world, in bookstores and libraries. Setting up a new book on Bowkerlink is easy and FREE. Read more in this blog post: http://www.savvybookwriters.com/is-your-book-listed-worldwide/”
I felt better when I went to the link, above, and read the intro:
“Few authors have ever heard about BowkerLink: a source for publishers and distributors seeking to update or add to title listings, found in ‘Books In Print,’ ‘Global Books In Print,’ and the ‘Publisher Authority Database.’ How can readers, bookstores or librarians in Japan, Australia, UK or Belize find your book and read, buy or lend it?”
Doris-Maria Heilmann provides a step-by-step sequence for putting a book on Bowkerlink right here. Do it and whatever else you have neglected to do to market your book from her great list.
Check out the rest of her site as well, with many archived posts that are still relevant and useful (this one is from 2013)! http://www.savvybookwriters.com
Luckily, I am not new to marketing, so as I ramp up for the release of my third ebook, Volume III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change of The Spanners Series (sci-fi/romance, adults/YA/NA), which goes into pre-orders @ half-price on 11/1/15, $1.99 through 12/7/15, then becomes $3.99 on release day, 12/8/15, with a cover reveal on 10/26/15 on http://www.aleshaescobar.com), I am pleased to discover that I have already accomplished (but need to update) most of what’s on the above list.
Volume I, This Changes Everything, became permafree when I released Volume II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, in the spring of 2014, which is also $3.99.
All links, reviews, author interviews and updates: http://www.sallyember.com
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The Kalyanamitra Foundation Vision
Support this good cause!
Source: The Kalyanamitra Foundation Vision
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“Should You #Write What You Know?” Guest Post by Krysten Lindsay Hager
I am excited to welcome back a previous guest blogger for today’s post, someone who was also a guest on Episode 15 of #CHANGES conversations between authors (see below for links), and who is an award-winning #YA and middle grades #novelist, #blogger and nonfiction author, Krysten Lindsay Hager!
Read her insights into what an #author ought to write about, below, and please comment here, http://www.sallyember.com/blog and on her site (see below for all her links).
“Should You #Write What You Know?”
What makes a person go back in time to those #teen years to relive all the awkward, cringe-worthy moments of growing up, crushes and trying to fit in while juggling homework and friendships? Was I crazy even to think about writing about that?
Probably.
Yes; most definitely, yes.
But, then again, sanity is overrated…or so I’ve heard.
Back when I began #writing seriously, I had been taking creative writing classes and even did a one-on-one independent study with my English professor. This is the first time that I finished a young adult novel. I liked my finished book, but I felt there was another story I needed to tell.
I tried different ideas out, outlined, free-formed it, scribbled on napkins and in journals, but nothing felt quite right. I had heard the phrase, “write what you know,” but it didn’t resonate that strongly with me. However, when I heard, “Write the book you would want to read,” well, that one hit home with me.
I decided that instead of trying to write for the market or what I thought people would want to read, I would write a story that I wanted to read. I told myself this story was just an exercise for me and there was no pressure to submit it or even finish it.
You know what happened? The words began to flow. It wasn’t so much about form and structure as it was about enjoying the process again. I’d soon learn that the writing reflected that.
A few months later, I had heard somewhat late about a writing conference that gave writers the opportunity to sign up for a critique. Since it was first-come, first-served, I had been waitlisted.
However, when I arrived at the conference, I saw that I had a spot in the critique queue. I asked the woman behind the counter how was it that I suddenly had a critique time assigned? I’m not saying she winked or anything, but she told me “they had found a spot” for me.
I didn’t question anything. I just said, “Thank you!” and I went to my appointment.
I went in, anxious and about to throw up. Those of you who have read any of my Landry’s True Colors Series or remember the scene in Next Door to a Star with Hadley getting ready for her first day of 10th grade, are now thinking, “Oh, that’s where Landry/Hadley gets her feel-the-fear-but–do-it-anyway bit from.”
The editor went through the chapter with me and then she came to the part in which my character has been left out by her two best friends and has to get up and walk across the room and ask another group of girls if she can join them. The editor looked at me and said: “My heart was in my throat as I wondered: would these new girls accept her? Would they let her sit with them?”
As she told me how she felt emotionally connected with the character, it hit me–—that moment I had written about was based on my own feelings. Way back in middle school, I had done that incredibly long walk in the cafeteria to another table to see if someone would let me in their group after my own crew had stopped talking to me for a day. (Who knows why, and, at the time, it seemed catastrophic to me.) That awkward, uncomfortable memory that I wasn’t even sure I should write about had brought up something in this woman who was reading it for the first time.
It was then that I realized that writing honestly about my character’s (and my) vulnerabilities was the only way to bring truth and authenticity to my stories. The fact that this person was so interested in this story’s world made me realize that I had something that someone wanted to read.
Krysten’s Writing Area
I found out that when I focused on the story I needed to tell and had written from a different place inside of me, that all brought my book to life. It made me realize the importance of writing what is in your heart–—the story only you can tell.
Krysten’s new release!
NEXT DOOR TO A STAR
by Krysten Lindsay Hager
Audience: Young Adult
Realistic Fiction
★ SYNOPSIS ★
Hadley Daniels is tired of feeling invisible.
After Hadley’s best friend moves away and she gets on the bad side of some girls at school, she goes to spend the summer with her grandparents in the Lake Michigan resort town of Grand Haven. Her next-door-neighbor is none other than teen TV star, Simone Hendrickson, who is everything Hadley longs to be–—pretty, popular, and famous—–and she’s thrilled when Simone treats her like a friend.
Being popular is a lot harder than it looks.
It’s fun and flattering when Simone includes her in her circle, though Hadley is puzzled about why her new friend refuses to discuss her former Hollywood life. Caught up with Simone, Hadley finds herself ignoring her quiet, steadfast friend, Charlotte.
To make things even more complicated, along comes Nick Jenkins…
He’s sweet and good-looking, and Hadley can be herself around him without all the fake drama. However, the mean girls have other ideas and they fill Nick’s head with lies about Hadley, sending him running back to his ex-girlfriend and leaving Hadley heartbroken.
So, when her parents decide to relocate to Grand Haven, Hadley hopes things will change when school starts…only to be disappointed once again.
Cliques. Back-stabbing. Love gone bad.
Is this really what it’s like to live…Next Door To A Star?
Book trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnLXsu2c43k
Next Door to a Star
Excerpt from Next Door to a Star:
The school year should end right after spring break, because all anyone can focus on is summer vacation. You can’t learn anything new because all you can think about is all the fun stuff you’re going to do once you don’t have to get up at the butt crack of dawn. Summer always seems full of possibilities.
Nothing exciting ever happens during the school year, but maybe, during summer vacation, you could run into a hot celebrity and he’d decide to put you in his next music video. Okay, it wasn’t like I knew anybody that happened to, but my grandparents did live next door to a former TV star, Simone Hendrickson, and Simone was discovered in an ice cream parlor one summer. Of course, she lived in L.A. at the time and was already doing plays and commercials, so the guy who discovered her had already seen her perform. But hey, it was summer, she got discovered, and that was all that mattered.
Amazing stuff didn’t happen to me.You know what happened to me last summer? I stepped on a bee and had to go to the emergency room. They’re not going to make an E! True Hollywood Story out of my life. I didn’t go on exotic vacations—–like today, I was being dragged along with my parents to my cousin’s graduation party. Most people waited until at least the end of May before having a grad party, but Charisma was having hers early because she was leaving on a trip to Spain.
I was dreading this party because I didn’t want to listen to everybody talk about how smart and talented Charisma was–—making me feel like a blob in comparison—–but my mom RSVP’d even though I said I’d rather die than go. My death threats meant nothing.
But still, for some strange reason, I had a feeling this summer was going to be different.
About Krysten
(author photo courtesy of Shannon DiGiacomo)
Krysten Lindsay Hager is an obsessive reader and has never met a bookstore she didn’t like. She’s worked as a journalist and humor essayist, and writes for teens, tweens, and adults. She is the author of the Landry’s True Colors Series and her work has been featured in USA Today and named as Amazon’s #1 Hot New Releases in Teen & Young Adult Values and Virtues Fiction and Amazon’s #1 Hot New Releases in Children’s Books on Values. She’s originally from Michigan and has lived in South Dakota, Portugal, and southwestern Ohio. She received her master’s degree from the University of Michigan-Flint.
Connect with Krysten Lindsay Hager
Website: http://www.krystenlindsay.com/
Instagram: http://instagram.com/krystenlindsay
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KrystenLindsayHagerAuthor
Twitter: @KrystenLindsay
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8298036.Krysten_Lindsay_Hager
Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/Krysten-Lindsay-Hager/e/B00L2JC9P2/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1
Book trailer for Landry’s True Colors Series provided by Videos by O.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFp2fPFbvTQ&feature=youtu.be
Buy links:
Amazon USA: http://www.amazon.com/Next-Door-Krysten-Lindsay-Hager-ebook/dp/B0149HTAK0
Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Next-Door-Krysten-Lindsay-Hager/dp/1680582690
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/next-door-to-a-star-krysten-lindsay-hager/1122588304?ean=9781680582697
Nook UK: http://www.nook.com/gb/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&%5Bs%5Dkeyword=krysten+lindsay+hager
Books-a-million: http://www.booksamillion.com/p/Next-Door-Star/Krysten-Lindsay-Hager/9781680582697?id=6130980443153
itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/author/krysten-lindsay-hager/id890673226?mt=11
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/search?query=Krysten%20Lindsay%20Hager&fcsearchfield=Author&fclanguages=all
If you enjoyed this post, please comment/like it here AND go visit Krysten’s sites.
Krysten Lindsay Hager was my guest on Episode 15 of CHANGES conversations between authors. Watch conversations with my previous CHANGES guests any time:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPbfKicwk4dFdeVSAY1tfhtjaEY_clmfq
Learn more about and get yourself or recommend someone to be scheduled as a guest: https://sallyember.com/changes-videocasts-by-sally-ember-ed-d/
Want to be a guest blogger on my site? Visit my “Guest Bloggers Hall of Fame” to review other guest posts and read my guidelines. Then, contact me if you’re interested: http://www.sallyember.com/guest-bloggers-hall-of-fame/
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#Buddhism and Intimate #Relationships: What’s the Deal?
#Buddhism and Intimate #Relationships: What’s the Deal?
image from http://indulgy.com
I went on an online hunt for the latest in advice, opinions, experiences and perspectives on this topic, intimate relationships and/or #love, from a #Buddhist perspective, restricting myself to postings from the last twelve months.
NOTE: Buddhists use this definition of “love”: the wish for the one you love to be happy. So, if you love someone, you will do everything you are capable of to help that person achieve temporary and long-lasting happiness—regardless of what loving that person requires of you—unselfishly, unstintingly, the way a parent would strive for a child.
image from http://peacelovepotager.blogspot.com
Here are what I found and some of my comments and questions about how to be a Buddhist in close relationships.
Next? Your comments!
From the Buddhism Stack Exchange (“a question and answer site for people practicing or interested in Buddhist philosophy, teaching, and practice. It’s built and run by you as part of the Stack Exchange network of Q&A sites. With your help, we’re working together to build a library of detailed answers to every question about Buddhist philosophy, teaching, and practice”), which has a page on Buddhism, marked Beta, with the subtitle from September 2, 2015: “Do buddhists fall in love?”
http://buddhism.stackexchange.com/questions/11266/do-buddhists-fall-in-love
This site provides a lot of info on the various subdivisions of Buddhism, including Theravada, Mahayana and Zen, and Vajrayana. Since I practice Tibetan Vajrayana Nyingma Buddhism, I focused on the responses that seem to be from the Vajrayana point of view.
Several responses were posted, but my favorites are these two, excerpted below.
One writer, Andrei Volkov (“Non-sectarian practitioner in the tradition of Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, heavily influenced by Korean Zazen and studies of Pali Canon. Dedicated to serious practice since 1995, and independent of others with regard to the Buddha’s message since 2012”), posted his response to the question posed (with a lot of explanatory material from the questioner that accompanied this question), “Do buddhists fall in love?”
In Vajrayana schools…emotions, including romantic love, are considered a form of energy that can be put to use… Vajrayana would still appreciate the inherent fakeness of love, the mechanical nature of which comes from a match of partners’ stereotypes and preconceptions.
[E]ven if a Vajrayana practitioner could play with the fire both in context of its ego-melting properties as well as for pleasure, they would not take it one-sidedly as an untrained run-of-the-mill person would do….Vajrayana view includes both sacred and illusory aspects of love. In Vajrayana we are trained to see things from all the sides at the same time. Love is both sacred and a giant trick, as far as Vajrayana is concerned.
The predominant Buddhist sentiment here is that being disappointed/disenchanted (= “sober”) is a …healthier state than the state of intoxication by an object of mind. While Vajrayana is 100% aligned with this most fundamental of Buddhist principles, we do allow ourselves to get drunk, both metaphorically with love, and occasionally even literally—–while staying fully accountable for the consequences—–a trait of the universal adult.
I also appreciated this perspective, posted by “Buddho” (gave no bio info):
Modern neuroscience is catching up with Buddhism in this department it appears. Scientists have found romantic love activates the same addictive parts of the brain as cocaine….
…Buddhism likens romantic love to an addiction, an attachment, and a danger.
…However, love…can also be about selflessness, … sacrifice and … self improvement…. This is the raison d’être for the Vajrayana school of romance as a valid path to enlightenment….
Another point of view comes from Bkikshuni Thupten Chödron, teacher, author and Abbess. Ani [Buddhist honorific for a nun] Chödron is a Western white woman who was one of the first to take Buddhist nun’s vows. http://thubtenchodron.org/biography/
Ani Chödron posted a marriage ceremony prayer that she asks the partners say to each other and to their friends and family, which I excerpt, below:
http://thubtenchodron.org/1995/06/wedding-readings-dharma/
…We aspire to make our spiritual path the core of our life together. We will help each other on the path to enlightenment, watering the seeds of love, compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, joyous effort, concentration and wisdom in each other. As we age and undergo the various ups and downs of cyclic existence, we aspire to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity.
…We recognize that external conditions in life will not always be smooth, and that internally, our own minds and emotions sometimes get stuck in negative ways of thinking. When this happens, we aspire to see all these circumstances as a challenge to help us grow, to open our hearts, to accept ourselves, others and life itself; and to generate compassion for all others who are also unhappy or suffering at that moment. We aspire to avoid becoming narrow, closed or opinionated, and will help each other see all the various sides of a situation and to bring acceptance, flexibility and equanimity to it.
…We aspire to remember the disadvantages of ignorance, anger and clinging attachment and to apply Dharma antidotes when these arise in our minds and to help each other do so, also.
…Day to day, as we progress along the path, we aspire to be patient with ourselves and others, knowing that change comes slowly and gradually…
I have attended a few Buddhist wedding ceremonies and heard about others. They usually include a portion of the vows that ends with “until impermanence intervenes” instead of the more traditional and secular “until death do we part.”
I’ve also heard and read Buddhist teachings that indicate one great reason to be in intimate relationships, whether platonic or sexual: when we are in relationship, we see our own minds better and face our challenges daily with ourselves.
I can attest to the experiences I have had with this exact situation from times I have been on individual, silent retreats: as long as I do not interact with anyone (no eye contact, no conversations, no communication of any kind) and, better yet, don’t even encounter anyone else in a significant way, I believe that I am doing “great” with my practice. I am so patient, so generous, so kind, so loving, so compassionate, so able to rejoice in others’ successes and happiness, so calm and so earnest about wanting to alleviate suffering for all beings. Oh, yes. Ahhhh.
On retreat, I am practically a saint….until I am thwarted or confronted with someone’s saying or doing something I don’t want or preventing me from getting what I do want.
Could be that someone puts their shoes where I usually put mine. Sometimes, I have to wait longer than usual for a meal. Perhaps someone stands where I want to stand, preventing me from seeing something I want to see. Maybe someone “takes” “my” parking space.
image from http://www.smilesforall.com
Provoked by the smallest of infractions or distractions, my ordinary mind and all its selfishness, attachment, pride, jealousy, anger and ignorance rear all their heads at once. There go my delusions of equanimity and of Bodhisattva grandeur: shattered!
The only “realization” I can honestly claim to have is this: I am so far from liberated, I can’t even read the sign for “enlightenment, this way —>.”
It seems to be true that the main spiritual advantage to being in an intimate relationship is that we get our spiritual comeuppance every day, many times a day, and can harbor no such illusions about our proximity to “enlightenment.” When we are engaged in intense, personal relationships with others and paying attention to our own minds, whether that occurs with colleagues, a lover/partner or with friends, our tasks are to be grateful for the challenges, to be glad of the opportunities to grow and improve.
Buddhist teachings exhort us to continue focusing our criticisms on ourselves and our generosity on our partners. We learn to see every interpersonal encounter as a chance to “look in the mirror” and see ourselves better rather than “look out the window” and point at or blame others for our confusions, hurts and complaints. We consider our sangha, the other members of our spiritual community, to be our “guide,” which means they show us the nature of our minds merely by being in our lives.
This does not mean we shouldn’t remove ourselves from an abusive relationship or ignore people who harm us or others. That is a misconstruction of these instructions. Buddhism also doesn’t encourage “co-dependency” while inspiring unselfishness: fine lines, always.
We simply try to maintain our focus on our own minds when we are feeling angry, resentful, proud, jealous, or afraid. We are attempting to see clearly the nature of our emotions as empty—having no substance—and to discover the source of our own suffering as ignorance, on the path to becoming more patient and spontaneously compassionate toward others.
CONCLUSIONS
If we aren’t interacting in any serious way with others, if we have no “skin in the game,” if all our relationships are superficial, short-term, and insignificant, we won’t be inspired to improve ourselves because, as I believe about myself when I’m alone on retreat, we’ll mistakenly conclude that we are “just fine the way we are.”
Are you in any relationships in which you are “all in,” allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable, exposed, authentic? Or, do you hold yourself back, keep some in reserve, never fully commit or reveal yourself? Only by immersing ourselves in an intense human relationship of some kind can we fully learn to understand our own minds and emotions honestly.
Why hold back? None of us lives all that long….
I am not in a close relationship with a lover right now, but I wish I were. I am in close contact with family members and a few friends, but none of those relationships brings the challenges right to my heart/mind that a lover does. Maybe some day, again…
Trouble is, I am very picky and I have a lot of experience, so I am not inclined to be in a relationship just to be in one. Not now.
My personal ads (when I ran them) did not get many relevant “hits.” Could be because these are my criteria and descriptions: “Serious meditators, only. People my age (61) or thereabouts, only. Kind, intelligent, humorous, interesting people only. No drinkers or smokers. One or no pets. No kids at home.”
I’m willing to be with either a woman or man, which opens up the field considerably, but my chosen categories otherwise make my acceptable potentials (and those who might find me appealing) very small. Also, I’m a Buddhist who was raised Jewish, a feminist and a radical, politically. Unless the other person is, also, or has experience with people similar to me, they probably won’t understand or respect me properly, nor I, them.
Then, add in these facts and you’ll see the pool shrinks into one that holds almost zero candidates: I don’t like to shop except for food that we’ll eat, and I prefer organic and food farmers’ markets, when possible. I don’t wear make-up or perfume or dress up readily. I don’t shave. I don’t wear bras. I’m honest. I’m somewhat psychic. I’m short, but people tell me I’m intimidating even when I don’t say a word. I’m a writer, a blogger, and a talk show host who likes to spend a lot of time alone to accomplish these things. I swim a lot, but I can’t hike (bad leg and back). I don’t have much money (yet). I eschew most sports, don’t like gambling, am not pleased with or want to go to most movies.
I get up at 3 AM and go to bed at about 8 PM, although, with naps, I can push the bedtime back a bit. I’m extremely intelligent and highly educated (doctorate), and I’m not as patient as I ought to be with potential partners who are not well-educated, don’t read much, and/or don’t know how to express themselves and/or don’t talk much. I’m very funny and I appreciate humor, but not if it’s disrespectful or implies derogatory opinions of groups or individuals.
I don’t like most movies or TV programs and won’t watch them. I fall asleep at classical concerts (although I like some of that music) and detest opera. I don’t want to attend most plays or public performances, but there are some I really would like to see.
I’m also not a “Barbie doll.” Therefore, I don’t want to be with someone whose main criteria for a lover start with or center on appearance and “fitness.” I appreciate certain physical qualities, but those aren’t my “screen” and I am not interested in people who screen that way.
I want friendship and interest first, love to have a chance and time to evolve, and for sex to occur as we get to know each other, not as the way to get to know each other. I haven’t had sex for over five years. I can wait.
You see the problems, yes?
image from http://www.cs.uni.edu
If there is anyone at all left in my subset, what are the odds that this person is alive and living within 15 – 20 miles of me in St. Louis, Missouri USA, right now, AND that I would meet up with him/her by chance and s/he would recognize me and I, him/her?
Let me know when you find such a person(s).
The truth is, because I have had dozens of relationships in my life, from those lasting one-night to twenty+ years, and I have an adult child I am close to and love dearly, as I do his partner, and I have many friends around the country and connections around the world, and relational experiences from dozens of years of living collectively, working closely with and living with people, I have the grounds for being choosy. I’d rather be “alone” than be in a relationship that isn’t healthy or spiritually nourishing.
Love isn’t easy. Love doesn’t always offer fun and sex. Love doesn’t usually include roses or violins.
Is love worthwhile? How should a practicing Buddhist (or anyone conscious) best engage in close relationships?
You tell me. http://www.sallyember.com/blog
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I don’t hate hot yoga; who am I?
My sister, Lauri Stern of Lauri Stern Yoga, will enjoy this piece!
Source: I don’t hate hot yoga; who am I?
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Movie Mondays: Show Your “Pride” this Labor Day
Source: Movie Mondays: Show Your “Pride” this Labor Day
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Share! Read! Act! #Refugees #Crises: Thanks, David Amerland, for aiding
SHARE! READ! ACT! If you’re not on Google+, you’re missing out on many things. David Amerland’s “SUNDAY READS” are some of them https://plus.google.com/u/0/collection/MVBSX : Read them all!
Here is today’s. URGENTLY need you to read this and ACT!
My comments:
“My favorite of all your ‘SUNDAY READS,’ David Amerland, because you provide calls to action of many types and degrees, from opening up our minds and hearts to our homes to our wallets to our ‘mouths’! THANK YOU!
“We are not helpless, but we need reminding and we need direction.
“SHARE! READ! ACT! #refugees #crises”
and
“The irony and karmic balancing that brings German leaders to help Semitic peoples…perfect.”
David Amerland originally shared to SUNDAY READ:
“‘We are alone, there is no one, help us!'”
“The contextual basis of our existence never becomes more evident than when we face what we sometimes disparagingly call ‘first world problems.’ Over the last few weeks I have been buried in business reports the urgent and pressured changes being made to the draft chapters of a book going to print and the inevitable everyday pressure of emails, articles, requests for interviews, comments and quotes.
“My life, to all intents and purposes, has been circumscribed by the immediate needs being pressed upon me, the narrow context of something that I have to do in a very limited space of time. Meanwhile, at the back of my mind, every time I dip across the web I sense the change in the world around me.
“As the sum total of largely man-made disasters accumulates around the globe, for the first time in our century, we face a mass movement of people, an Exodus (http://goo.gl/fWIurF) that’s the largest since WWII: http://goo.gl/leWg1X
“As hundreds of thousands of refugees flooded cash-strapped and ill-prepared Greece which is struggling to cope: http://goo.gl/rdlHbq The Economist ran a piece on why this is happening: http://goo.gl/kWZYjM. Europe, one of the world’s richest areas, is paralyzed by the refugee crisis: http://goo.gl/V2AO7e unable to formulate a coherent policy, its leaders largely incapable of understanding the right thing to do instead of the politically expedient thing to say, are left floundering (again) – adrift in a situation that is evolving too fast for them to formulate a politically palatable soundbite.
“This has left the nation-state behaving like any system under siege, led by people who feel overwhelmed would: defensively. Hungary put up fences, ironically spending over 100 Million Euros (http://goo.gl/hlTg7Q) and using inmates to help keep costs down – its effectiveness already under question and its morality under attack: http://goo.gl/D5GUbc. Germany (http://goo.gl/D68U6r) and the UK (http://goo.gl/TF1c6w) have seen a far-right resurgence as the issue of immigration gets muddled with the refugee crisis and colored with anti-Islamist rhetoric (http://goo.gl/OFE0PZ).
“While politicians flip-flop on the issue and parliaments debate without anything being resolved the unfolding crisis gets deeper, its images, unrelentingly grimmer: 71 people die, suffocating in the back of a refrigeration truck in Austria: http://goo.gl/bs4oe9. A father, desperately trying to get his family to safety, left in charge of a sinking boat is left to pick up their lifeless bodies: http://goo.gl/XN3Ysl the picture of this seemingly insignificant tragedy in a massive tide of human pain, suddenly personifying exactly what’s happening: http://goo.gl/P8D5uc.
“Death, usually only takes on meaning when it can be given a human face: http://goo.gl/KqaPKf. Its story made to reflect the big picture (http://goo.gl/DYxw8E) behind it that made it possible to happen in the first place: http://goo.gl/XN3Ysl.
“You’d be forgiven for thinking that there is little hope. That the world is a dark, vile place (http://goo.gl/gVeb2v). That those we entrust to lead us betray us (http://goo.gl/qWaAbL). That we, might as we try, cannot change anything, that really – context and content, our ‘first world problems’ – our issues with efficiency, marketing, selling and buying. The lawns that need to be cut and the BBQs that need to be lit and the things that make our life ‘real’ are, should be perhaps, not just what we should worry about but what we must worry about. Our security blanket. The sedative we reach for to distract us from what we cannot change, what we cannot affect. What we feel powerless against.
“This not what’s happening here. The same ‘first world problems’ that make our attention sometimes focus on the seemingly inconsequential, also become the driver for creating social media tools and the motive force for forging new ways of operating.
“Against the frequently stated, kneejerk, absurd and intellectually impoverished charge of ‘social media distracts us from real life’ and ‘social media stops us from having a life’ stands the starkness of the impact of a crisis that’s being felt even through the many layers of the pressures that surround us daily.
“Social media, connectivity, technology – for all their imperfections, also make it impossible to switch off, impossible to ignore and impossible to deny. No more ‘I didn’t know’ (http://goo.gl/6N0sXL) defense lines. We now know and feel and understand and agonize and think.
“And unlike our elected leaders, refreshingly, we act. A US man ‘grabbed’ a ship and set off to do something about it: http://goo.gl/dcGtE6. Icelanders (whose government caps immigration to 50 a year) opened up their homes, actively offering to help take in refugees: http://goo.gl/EkkbPi. Buckling under pressure from home Germany and Austria opened their doors: http://goo.gl/bO90rn internet shaming having at least one positive effect.
“It doesn’t stop there.
“The Refugees Welcome website uses people power and crowdsourcing (the same idea that brought us Airbnb) to change the way we respond to the refugee crisis: http://goo.gl/11E1ty. Petitions (http://goo.gl/MDY4Bt) are having the desired effect as EU refugee policy is changing: http://goo.gl/0qNqpE. If you’re in the UK you can sign the online petition to increase support for refugees and asylum seekers: https://goo.gl/1fDi1k you can add further pressure by signing The Independent’s petition form: http://goo.gl/qcOJ45.
“This is not an EU problem (http://goo.gl/fsqRe8). It is a people problem. It is a global problem, which people, seeing people in trouble can help solve. In New Zealand you can add your voice to those who want change to the refugee quota: https://goo.gl/wCmxjy. On Facebook the ‘Open Homes, Open Hearts’ initiative helps US citizens add their voice to the tide: https://goo.gl/bZsLqJ and a petition on the White House website could really do with your signature: https://goo.gl/tZy3tT.
“This could have been a really dark, hopeless ‘Sunday Read.’ The issues raised here are deep, potentially divisive. They are the kind that our elected officials feel powerless to deal with quickly. Yet, the very same tools that allow me to somewhat flippantly talk about the need to have plenty of coffee at hand and a mountain of sugary treats, allow us to connect, share, and actually do something ourselves, first. Even something as small as sharing a petition in our social media channels to help raise its visibility and awareness.
“We may be small. But we are not powerless. We may feel alone, but we really are not. We may think that nothing changes, but here’s proof that things are. The world is connecting across lines that officials do not foresee and cannot control. We self organize (https://goo.gl/vgukwN), create forces of our own, drive change in ways that only our ‘first world concerns’ can prepare us for.
“We understand two things that government and institutions do not always grasp: As people we can act to do the right thing, first: http://goo.gl/tMuQ8R. As people we can make a difference because we are no longer alone and isolated.
“The title of this ‘Sunday Read‘ was taken from the heart-wrenching message of a Syrian woman to the Italian coastguard: http://goo.gl/leWg1X. Our message today to the world, to each other, here, to those who we feel need help, in any context is that the world is really changing. You are no longer alone. None of us is.
“Coffee, chocolate ice-cream, donuts, croissants, cookies and chocolate cake. I know it seems facile, yet it’s a ritual that helps keep us together. Make us stronger. More effective, until even more join us. Have an awesome Sunday, wherever you are.”
NOTE: I do not usually share an entire post like this, but so many of you are not on Google+, I knew you wouldn’t/couldn’t go there. And, this post and these issues are so important, with so many points of contact, so much information, and significant and easy-to-follow calls to action, that I had to include the entire post.
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Special Labor Day Release! LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE #FANTASY SERIES BUNDLE #1
From previous guest blogger here and guest on CHANGES conversations between authors, Episode 9, Charles E. Yallowitz, Reblogged on WordPress.com
Source: Special Labor Day Release! LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE #FANTASY SERIES BUNDLE #1
OPENINGS for CHANGES in late September and beyond! Welcome new/seasoned authors of any age, genre, publication method!
Watch conversations with my previous CHANGES guests any time: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPbfKicwk4dFdeVSAY1tfhtjaEY_clmfq
Learn more about and get yourself on or recommend someone to be scheduled as a guest for CHANGES: https://sallyember.com/changes-videocasts-by-sally-ember-ed-d/
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Featured today on Buddhist Door, Part I of my stories of being a “Reluctant Buddhist.”
Featured today on Buddhist Door, Part I of my stories of being a “Reluctant Buddhist.”
Thanks, Frances McDonald and Buddhist Door, for this opportunity.
Look for Part II to go LIVE on 11/13/15, my dear Lama Drimed’s birthday!
May all beings benefit.
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“Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit” and other Superstitions
“Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit”: we’re supposed to say this before we say anything else on the first day of each month, or else…? What?
image from http://www.azgamingguide.com
Where do your superstitious rituals, habits, beliefs come from? Your family? Your religion? Your heritage/culture? Your locality? Other “traditions”?
Sports players, gamblers, racers, stock market sellers and buyers and many others are notorious for their rituals that supposedly bring good luck or avoid bad luck. Watch a baseball game some time and notice all the tics, obsessive/compulsive, repetitive behaviors and rituals the players engage in, particularly the batters and pitchers.
What are the differences among “superstitions,” “faith-based rituals,” “religious beliefs,” and “traditions”?
Do you cross yourself or genuflect in some other way that is not part of a prayer ritual when entering a cemetery?
What about lifting your feet when you cross over railroad tracks?
Ever hold your breath while crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel?
Why do you “cross your fingers” for good luck or behind your back when you’re telling a lie?
image from http://www.servantleadershipinstitute.com
Do you feel guilty, disloyal, unfaithful, heretical, afraid or nervous when you decry, pooh-pooh and/or refuse to adhere to superstitious or other rituals even when you are certain there is no basis in scientific or other fact to support continuing to believe or do those things?
Even when you know it’s silly—i.e., unfounded in anything rational—do you perform the ritual or continue to have the belief, anyway? Or, do you follow the ritual in front of believers, out of respect or not to “rock the boat,” but in private or among unbelievers, you do not follow it, and you might even disparage it and/or those who do follow it?
Do you believe that if you break or crack a mirror, you acquire 7 years of “bad luck,” unless you do or say… what…?
image from http://www.giftypedia.com
List some rituals, beliefs, and other behaviors associated with superstition with me (here are some of mine) and their purported effects or purposes:
- Saying “Rabbit, rabbit, rabbit” on the first day of every month, as the first utterances (otherwise, it is “too late”):
— to bring good luck to the speaker for the month. - When walking with someone and separated by a lamppost or other upright object or another person temporarily, saying “Bread and butter” as you part:
— to avoid bad luck; to keep you “together” in the future. - When speaking, if I and another person(s) say the same exact words at the same exact time, one of three things must occur: 1) The first person to notice it says: “Jinx! You owe me a soda!” and the other(s) must “pay up” soon; 2) Both (or all three) people link pinkies and say “Jinx!” or 3) The first person to notice says “Jinx!” and the other person(s) may not speak again until someone says their first name aloud.
— I have no idea why any of these occurs. Does anyone? - When anyone spills salt, throw some over my left shoulder.
— to avoid bad luck.
image from http://www.bristolfarms.com - When anyone says something nice about a person in my hearing, especially a baby, I must say “Kinahorah,” which is Yiddish, transliterated, and means:
— “there should be no evil eye.” - When anyone says their age aloud in front of another (honestly or lying), especially in response to someone’s question, someone else or the questioner must say “Kinahorah.”
— see above. - Put a new penny into any coin purse, purse or wallet before giving it as a gift.
— Ensures the new owner will always “have enough.” - When someone, including myself, is traveling, especially in an airplane, I must imagine three “magic circles” or one “magic circle” three times surrounding the traveler and imagine that those circles extend to all who travel (best done on take-off, for an airplane I’m in).
— to ensure safety while traveling. - When anyone spills a beverage or food, including drinking water, onto the table or floor or self, the spiller or someone else must say: “May we always have more than enough.”
— to avoid not having enough that some could overflow without harm to the drinker/eater in the future. - When you or someone else loses an eyelash, put it on a finger and have the owner blow it away while making a wish.
— to guarantee the wish will come true.
image from http://www.babble.com - When sewing a button, tear or hem while still wearing the garment, sewer must put a piece of thread in one’s mouth while sewing.
— to avoid “sewing one’s brains together.” - Don’t walk underneath a stepladder that is open or a straight ladder propped up against the wall.
— to avoid bad luck.
image from http://paperchipmunk.com - Don’t be first OR always strive to be first…in a line/queue, to step off the curb to cross the street, to speak in a group, to go through a revolving door, to get into a cab or hansom-type vehicle, to arrive at a public event/in an audience, to arrive at a party.
— to ensure good luck or avoid bad luck. - When blowing out birthday candles, must make a wish before they’re all blown out and must blow them all out in one breath.
— to guarantee the wish will come true. - When you see the first star on any night, say: “Star light, star bright, please grant my wish tonight,” then, make a wish silently.
— to guarantee the wish will come true.
What other superstitions do you/have you subscribed to/been taught/ been around in your life? COMMENT HERE! Share! http://www.sallyember.com/blog
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Watch: Will Smith Fights the NFL as Dr. Bennet Omalu in the Trailer for ‘Concussion’
As someone who has suffered only one concussion, which has been more than moderately traumatic, I can barely imagine what these football players have and continue to experience(d).
Thanks to Will Smith and the filmmakers of “Concussion,” coming out this Dec., 2015, for bringing concussion syndrome to more people’s attention.
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Behind the Face of Nicholas Rossis
Wonderful, in-depth interview with one of my guests and guest bloggers from *CHANGES* conversations between authors, Episode 7’s Nicholas C. Rossis! Excellent info, here.
Watch conversations with my previous *CHANGES* guests any time: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPbfKicwk4dFdeVSAY1tfhtjaEY_clmfq
Learn more about and get yourself on or recommend someone to be scheduled as a guest for *CHANGES*: https://sallyember.com/changes-videocasts-by-sally-ember-ed-d/
OPENINGS for *CHANGES* in late September and beyond! Welcome new/seasoned authors of any age, genre, publication method!
Best to you all,
Sally
I asked Nicholas whether he would agree to be interviewed in rather a ‘personal’ and targeted way. I am less interested in the writer than in the life that lies behind writing. As it happened the philosophy he revealed ( and his final summary) made it appropriately hosted on Careless Talk- the blog of things related to Involution-An Odyssey and its universal implications. So here it is.
Interview with Nicholas Rossis.
Nicholas Rossis
Nicholas, because I do not interview writers on any kind of regular basis, I hope you don’t mind me framing questions that arise from impressions you give me and my fascination with what underpins the individual writer, their past, their passions, their acute dislikes. Feel free to answer ‘Pass’ at any point. You have a charming on-line persona, and make many faithful friends. I would like to introduce the individual alone with yourself.
A Greek who has…
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My Movie Review of “‘Ricki and the Flash’ – Meryl Streep is Terrific” on Blogcritics.org
My movie review of “‘Ricki and the Flash’ – Meryl Streep is Terrific,” on Blogcritics.org,
went live 8/27/15!
Summary : Excellent rock’n’roll cover band fronted by Meryl Streep and Rick Springfield in a touching family drama. 4 Stars!
SCROLL DOWN on this site (link below) to leave a comment!
http://blogcritics.org/movie-review-ricki-and-the-flash-meryl-streep-is-terrific/
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5 Stars***** for This Changes Everything, Vol I, The Spanners Series: “a fantastic science fiction read”!
5 Stars***** for This Changes Everything, Vol I, The Spanners Series: “a fantastic science fiction read”!
Cover art and logo by Aidana Willowraven for The Spanners Series http://willowraven.weebly.com/
Debra L. Mauldin “willowtree” reviewed This Changes Everything, Vol I, The Spanners Series
Book Review August 24, 2015
EXCERPTS:
“Her characters are well-rounded and strong.”
“The reader has to think with an open mind and will find that everything flows, reverses, and fast forwards in an easy and understandable story.”
“Trust me, this book is not boring and is easy to follow if you don’t try to make it too hard.”
“I highly recommend this book to all science fiction and utopias/dystopias readers.”
read full review here:
https://mauldinfamily1.wordpress.com/2015/08/24/this-changes-everything-the-spanner-series-book-1-book-review/
or on Amazon, where you can download Volume I, This Changes Everything, PERMAFREE:
http://www.amazon.com/This-Changes-Everything-Spanners-Series-ebook/dp/B00HFELTG8/ref=cm_rdp_product
Vol II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, is $3.99
Vol III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change, goes into half-price pre-orders 11/1/15 – 12/7/15 for $1.99, then $3.99 on 12/8/15, RELEASE DAY!
For all links, other reviews, author interviews, updates and excerpts: http://www.sallyember.com Look right; scroll down
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The Top 10 Reasons Trick or Treating is Better than Sex
Thanks for posting: made me laugh out loud!
Top 10 Reasons Trick or Treating is Better Than Sex:
10) You are guaranteed to get a little something in the sack.
9) If you get tired, you can wait ten minutes and go at it again.
8) The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7) You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6) It’s ok when the person you’re with fantasizes that you’re someone else, because you are.
5) Forty years from now you’ll still enjoy candy.
4)If you don’t like what you get, you can always go next door.
3) It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning & groaning.
2) A lot less “morning after” guilt.
YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD!
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Although she won’t listen, I’m giving my 16-year-old self advice: Guest Post on Krysten Lindsay Hager’s blog
Although she won’t listen, I’m giving my 16-year-old self advice: Guest Post originally on Krysten Lindsay Hager’s blog
I turn 61 today, so in a great age inversion, I’m again sending advice to my 16-year-old self: this was originally posted on May 7, 2015, on http://www.krystenlindsay.com/blog/although-she-wont-listen-im-giving-my-16-year-old-self-advice-by-sally-ember-edd. Thanks, Krysten!
Maybe she’ll listen THIS time…?
Dear 16-year-old Sally,
Sally at 16
From the impossibly ripe old age of 61, I send you/me advice, based on knowing how things turn out for us and recognizing choice points we could decide differently about, if we are so inclined.
If so, given the simultaneous nature of time and quantum physics’ declaration that anything that CAN happen DOES happen, we will make millions of different choices, rendering some of this advice moot. Even so, here we go.
1) Friends
The “cool” kids aren’t better friends. In fact, they’re usually so intent on keeping their “cool” status (which is always precarious) that they can be deceitful, mean-spirited, unfaithful, disloyal and unreliable in every way. Cultivate and BE the type of friend who cares more about being a good friend than anyone’s perceived (and quite temporary) status. Keeping good friends is a lot more important than attaining “cool” status.
Status in high school will be long-forgotten and completely irrelevant as soon as you graduate. Decades after high school is over, you’ll still be friends with the people worth befriending. You won’t even remember the names of those you were so keen to impress at 16 or why you (or anyone) thought they were so “cool.”
Do you still like graphs and diagrams? Here are four quadrants explaining the four types of friendships people can have and where one’s distribution of friends are likely to fall.
—Quadrant 1 (Q1) is in the TOP RIGHT = IDEAL, which are friendships that are Healthy and Enjoyable, both. If you’re lucky, most of your friendships belong here.
—Quadrant 2 (Q2) is in the BOTTOM RIGHT = PROBLEMATIC, which are friendships that are Healthy but Not Enjoyable You can change what you think is “enjoyable,” but you can’t create “healthy” so easily. Change your point of view.
—Quadrant 3 (Q3) is in the TOP LEFT = PROBLEMATIC, which are friendships that are Enjoyable but Not Healthy What makes these “enjoyable”? Really? Cut it out. Get out.
—Quadrant 4 (Q4) is in the BOTTOM LEFT = “COME ON,” which are friendships that are Neither Health NOR Enjoyable if your’re smart, NONE of your friendships belongs here.
image from http://waitbutwhy.com
2) Relationships with Boys (and Girls)
You will mostly be infatuated and not in love. Feelings of attraction, interest, lust, even love are not the same as being “in love,” but they SEEM to be and can fool you. These other feelings can be very strong and important, but they aren’t meant to help you choose a life partner, just a date or a relationship for a few months. Plan accordingly.
Never blow off a good friend (male or female) to go on a date or spend more time with your date or sex partner. Sex partners/dates will change frequently; friends can last a lifetime, if you’re careful and sincere. Be a good friend and you’ll HAVE good friends.
Great litmus test for whether or not your feelings are deep and/or significant for a date/sex partner: imagine that one of you is in a serious car accident and left with injuries that cause that person to become a quadriplegic. Would either of you be loyal and devoted enough to the other to take care of the paralyzed partner for the rest of your lives? You might never have sex again with that person (or, if you’re monogamous, with anyone else, either). You might never be touched again by/touch that person (paralyzed: remember?). You might never sleep in the same bed, never dance together upright, never take walks next to each other holding hands.
NOW: are you still convinced that you’re “in love”? That’s okay. Have a good time, but don’t make life-long promises.
image from http://www.dreamstime.com
3) Sex, Birth Control, Sexuality, STDs, Sexual Identity
You don’t need to be in love to have sex. You don’t need to be having sex to purchase/acquire birth control and STDs protection (condoms, pills, IUDs, etc.), and, in fact, DON’T WAIT! If you are even considering having intercourse or fluids-exchanging sex with ANYONE, go to Planned Parenthood or a free clinic or your doctor and find out what your best choices are. BE PREPARED.
It is not romantic, fun, easy or worthwhile to become pregnant at 16 or contract an STD, ever. Get educated. Find out what is contagious, how easy it is to get pregnant even before or without having actual heterosexual intercourse, how quickly and easily fluids can be exchanged that carry diseases between sex partners and be SMART and PREVENTIVE.
If you can’t talk about these things with your potential sex partner, if you can’t take off your clothes and touch each other with some lights on, if you can’t talk about what you like and don’t like regarding sexual touching, YOU ARE NOT READY TO HAVE SEX and/or YOU ARE WITH THE WRONG PERSON. For real. Don’t do it.
90% of sexual pleasure is in your BRAIN. So, if you’re not feeling safe, cared about, respected, listened to, wanted, known, you won’t climax (come; have an orgasm) AND you won’t feel good afterwards about what you’re doing with that person.
Consent must be given and received before having sex, but it is NOT an obligation to give (or get) consent.
Sex WON’T “fix” a relationship, “bring you closer” or make a tentative connection “better.” It’s just sex. You might temporarily feel more connected after having some sexual contact, but when your clothes are back on, you’re back to being yourselves and you’re stuck with whatever relationship you already have.
Having sex doesn’t cause you to become more mature, smart, “cool,” or ready for responsibility. You’re still YOU; you’ve just added sex to the mix and that is usually NOT a good idea at your age. TRULY.
Be honest with yourself. What turns you on? What/which kinds of people? Are you attracted only to certain types of people? One or more genders?
Here are some clues: “Nice” is NOT boring. Meanness doesn’t signify someone with higher intelligence, just a facility with sarcasm. Humor that is unkind reveals a person using it who is not kind. Pretty eyes, a great voice, fascinating hands or other body parts do NOT lead to having a good relationship: a PERSON has to be attached to these features whom you actually like.
image from http://www.nydailynews.com
4) School, Science and Writing You will have some horrible science teachers and some excellent English/writing teachers. Your math teachers will mostly be all right, but not great. Same with social studies and other subjects: good, but not great. Don’t let the qualities of your teacher determine what YOU are interested in pursuing.
You will use writing throughout your life, for almost everything related to education and work. So, continue to improve your writing/editing skills. You will never regret becoming a good writer.
If you love science (or anything else), stick with it, even if the teachers are awful in high school. It gets better in college and beyond. You can also learn on your own throughout your life, so learn how to learn: that is key.
High school is only 4 years of your life: don’t let it define you or your future choices overly much. Right now, high school is one-fourth of your years on earth, but the older you get, the smaller that percentage becomes. By the time you’re thirty, these four years aren’t even one-eighth of your life. See?
quote from The Places You’ll Go by Dr. Seuss.
5) Meditation and Religion You won’t feel connected to Judaism, regardless of how many years you are forced to attend religious education classes and how many of your friends and family members are Jewish. That’s all right.
You will find meditation, then Buddhism to be spiritual “home” for you. Say “yes” when your friends offer to bring you to meditation classes. Say “no” when people try to push you into anything that doesn’t feel right to you.
You will have to pave your own way, even though you’re the only one in your family to travel this spiritual path. You’ll be happy with yourself and you don’t harm anyone else, so go for it.
image from http://www.opendharma.org
I hope you’ll take these pieces of advice to heart and follow them. If not, you’ll not be any worse off, at least.
Love,
Older Sally
Sci-fi/romance author, former writing teacher and editor and LIVE talk show host of the almost weekly G+ HOA/Youtube videochat, CHANGES conversations between authors, Sally Ember, Ed.D., is my guest blogger today.
“I have been passionate about writing since I was nine years old, when I wrote and published my first story, a fairy tale about an inquisitive princess (see? I started out autobiographical). Always competitive, I’m absurdly proud that I won prizes for my poetry, stories, songs and plays early in life. Did I use up my creativity good karma too soon?
“I was born Jewish on the cusp of Leo and Virgo, which seems to mean that my life has been infused with change. Currently, I meditate, write, swim, read and host CHANGES most Wednesdays, 10 – 11 AM Eastern time, USA, in St. Louis, Missouri. I have one older brother and two younger sisters (none lives in St. Louis but we’re in close contact) and I used to have seven step-sisters and two step-brothers (we’re not in touch).
“I began meditating at age 17 with Transcendental Meditation (T.M., like the Beatles) and have been meditating for over 40 years. I became a Buddhist in 1996 (in this lifetime, anyway).
“In my ‘other’ professional life, I have worked as an educator and upper-level, nonprofit manager in colleges, universities and private nonprofits for over thirty-five years in New England (every state), New Mexico and the San Francisco Bay Area before returning to live in St. Louis, MO, in August, 2014. I have a BA in Elementary Education, a Master’s (M.Ed.) and a doctorate in education (Ed.D.).
“I enjoy blurring the lines between fact and fiction in a multiverse of multiple timelines, often including exciting elements of utopian science fiction and Buddhism. My sci-fi /romance/ speculative fiction/ paranormal/ multiverse/ utopian/Buddhist-infused, Jewish-themed ebooks for New Adult/adult/YA audiences, The Spanners Series, which are unique, uplifting, intriguing and challenging, according to readers. Vol I, This Changes Everything, is now FREE everywhere since Vol II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, released June, 2014. Look for Vol III, This Is/Is Not the Way I Want Things to Change, in 2015, and Vol IV – X in subsequent years; about two per year is the plan.
“I have one son, Merlyn, who is a computer network engineer and musician. Merlyn, my sisters, my mom and several friends serve as my beta readers and sounding boards for much of my writing and also contribute ideas and characters for my books, as do others in my family and friendship circles (voluntarily or not). The stories in The Spanners Series are completely true and all these characters and situations exist in some timeline or another.
“Since I alternate the POVs and focus on characters and situations to feature those who are younger/YA/NA for even-numbered Volumes of The Spanners Series and feature older adults (primarily) in odd-numbered Volumes, I plan to ‘crowdcreate’ Volume VIII with younger writers and Volume IX with those closer to my age (older adults). I invite readers to submit to me your ideas and suggestions and/or volunteer to collaborate in other ways for either of these Volumes (your choice) no later than January 31, 2016. sallyember AT yahoo DOT com
“I am also a some-time editor/proofreader, infrequent reviewer (but PLEASE do not send me your books or requests; I choose what to review and I rarely do it since I focus on writing and hosting), frequent blogger and talk-show host, so I geared the ‘rewards’ for my Patreon Crowdfunding campaign to be useful to those who choose to donate (as little as $4 gets a donor something). The Patreon page features videos of me singing (a capella; be nice) an original song about my campaign and describing the campaign goals and rewards. Link is below.
“I blog regularly on a wide range of topics and I also include reviews, interviews, guest blog posts, and excerpts from my ebooks. Visit and comment, follow, ‘like,’ and share.” http://www.sallyember.com/blog
BOOK BLURBS:
Volume I, This Changes Everything, The Spanners Series, by Sally Ember, Ed.D., PERMAFREE
Dr. Clara Ackerman Branon, 58, begins having secret visits from holographic representations of beings from the Many Worlds Collective, a consortium of planet and star systems in the multiverse. When Earth is invited to join the consortium, the secret visits are made public. Now Earthers must adjust their beliefs and ideas about life, religion, culture, identity and everything they think and are. The MWC selects Clara to be the liaison between Earth and the Many Worlds Collective and she chooses Esperanza Enlaces to be the Media Contact. They team up to provide information to stave off riots and uncertainty. The Many Worlds Collective holos train Clara and the Psi-Warriors for the Psi Wars with the rebelling Psi-Defiers, communicate effectively with many species on Earth and off-planet, eliminate ordinary, elected governments and political boundaries, convene a new group of Global Leaders, and deal with family’s and friends’ reactions. In what multiple timelines of the ever-expanding multiverse do Clara and her long-time love, Epifanio Dang, get to be together and which leave Clara alone and lonely as the leader of Earth? This Changes Everything spans the 30-year story of Clara’s term as Earth’s first Chief Communicator, continuing in nine more Volumes of The Spanners Series. Are YOU ready for the changes?
Volume II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever, The Spanners Series $3.99
Intrigued by multiple timelines, aliens, psi skills, romance and planetary change? Clara and the alien “Band” are back in Volume II, This Changes My Family and My Life Forever. Now as Chief Communicator, Clara leads the way for interspecies communication on- and off-planet. Fighting these changes are the Psi-Defiers, led by one of the oldest friends of the Chief of the Psi-Warriors, its reluctant leader, Rabbi Moran Ackerman. Stories from younger Spanners about the first five years of The Transition fill Volume II. How would YOU do with the changes?
LINKS:
WordPress Blog and main Website: http://www.sallyember.com
Tumblr: http://sallyember.tumblr.com/
Twitter: @sallyemberedd
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/sallyember
FB Spanners Seriespage: https://www.facebook.com/TheSpannersSeriesbySallyEmber
Personal Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sally.ember (Sally Sue Fleischmann Ember)
Google+ Spanners Series page: http://goo.gl/tZKQpv
Personal G+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+SallySueEmber
Youtube Channel: The Spanners Series books’ trailers, author readings, CHANGES shows and more:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqnZuobf0YTCiP6silDDL2w/videos?view_as=public
Patreon Crowdfunding Campaign: http://www.patreon.com/sallyember
Amazon Author Central: http://www.amazon.com/Sally-Ember/e/B00HEV2UEW/
Amazon ebooks’ pages:
Vol I: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HFELTG8
Vol II: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KU5Q7KC
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/SallyEmber
Vol I: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/376197
Vol II: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/424969
Kobo:
Vol I: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/this-changes-everything-3
Vol II: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/this-changes-my-family-and-my-life-forever
Barnes & Noble nook:
Vol I: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/this-changes-everything-sally-ember-edd/1117444256?ean=2940045417921
Vol II: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/this-changes-my-family-and-my-life-forever-sally-ember-edd/1119080804?ean=2940045805957
iBooks/iTunes:
Vol I: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/this-changes-everything/id746840776?mt=11&ls=1
Vol II: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/this-changes-my-family-my/id853674553?mt=11
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7237845.Sally_Ember
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/sallyemberedd/en
Wattpad: http://www.wattpad.com/myworks
Library Thing: http://www.librarything.com/profile/sallyember
BookLikes: http://sallyember.booklikes.com/
Shelfari: http://www.shelfari.com/authors/a1002726320/Sally-Ember-Ed-D-/books
Authors’ Database: http://authorsdb.com/authors-directory/5338-sally-ember-ed-d
Covers and Logo Art by Aidana Willowraven: http://www.willowraven-illustration.blogspot.com/
Archived CHANGES conversations between authors LIVE shows: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPbfKicwk4dFdeVSAY1tfhtjaEY_clmfq
Authors can learn more about and get yourselves scheduled on as guests: https://sallyember.com/changes-videocasts-by-sally-ember-ed-d/
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My History of History: Guest Blog Post from Janet Oakley, Historical Fiction Author/ Educator
I am so pleased to welcome Janet Oakley as my guest blogger today. Janet is an #historical #fiction #author and #educator who was my guest on CHANGES conversations between authors for Episode 21.
My History of History is today’s Guest Blog Post. Join the conversation, please!
For more information about how to reach Janet and know more about her writing, to become a guest on CHANGES or become a guest blogger on my site, see below this post.
Thanks for visiting!
My History of History
I have loved history since I was in grade school.
Maybe it was my mother’s stories about her family’s homesteading across the West, post-Civil War, or maybe it was the journals of my great-grandfather, a Union surgeon at the Battle of Gettysburg, or, Little House on the Prairie books.
In any event, while researching my senior thesis for my BA in American History, I had a wake-up call deep in the collections of the National Archives. I loved the research, the hunt for the unexpected piece of history, but I didn’t want to look like I lived there. My archivist looked like he hadn’t seen sun in 25 years.
That made a very big impression on my twenty-one-year-old self. I preferred presenting what I found in those old records and stories in ways that the public would understand. Thus, my passion for hands-on history was born.
I first discovered this approach to teaching history while a guide at Mission Houses Museum in Honolulu in the early 1970s. The storied history behind these buildings, one brought by sailing ship pre-fab all they way from Connecticut to Honolulu in 1821, was part of the tour. When no one else volunteered to give early morning tours to school kids, I said “Yes.”
I found making the story of missionaries and the royal Hawaiian children who were present at this site relevant to young 20th-century kids a challenge, but I soon found I loved making history come alive to them. For that, I pursued a teaching certificate.
Out in the Woods
Back on the Mainland a few years later, I scored a job with my local school district. At the time, every third grade went out to forested site to experience life as a 19th-century settler in the Pacific Northwest. By then, I had been participating in a museum program in the schools. From those workshops, I learned how to apply historical research to creating fun, hands-on activities, ranging from churning butter to candle-dipping to 19th-Century schooling. I’ve been doing it ever since.
One of the joys of doing this is seeing students (and many times, their parents) engage in activities from the past. For eleven years, I was Curator of Education at a county museum, where I worked with teachers and their students from eleven different schools.
I researched and created hands-on stations that explored mining ores and their uses, logging, seeds and butter-making, all historic occupations in the county. I also taught at the historic Rosario School.
Recently, I have been presenting workshops about pioneers and their use of 19th-Century technology and media at the SPARK Museum in Bellingham, which has an amazing collection of electrical science and sound that led to the development and improvement of modern radios.
Bongie Young
During these years, I created social studies curricula for schools and parks, one of which is the San Juan Island National Historical Park on San Juan Island in the Pacific Northwest. For the past nineteen years, I have demonstrating 19th-Century foodways during their annual “English Encampment,” run by Miss Libby’s Academy.
Informing My Historical Fiction
I have an active public speaking life centered around local history topics and the historical fiction I write. Why do I continue to work with kids? Because I love history and I love teaching it experientially.
Understanding how things worked long ago or the customs and traditions of the times by trying on period clothing or cooking with a 150-year-old “receipt” (recipe) is one of the best ways to appreciate history and the ordinary people who lived it.
By the time this is posted, I will have talked to a group of Girl Scouts out at their rural mountain camp. My novel, Timber Rose, has inspired their leaders to invite me talk about the early women mountaineers who climbed mountains in skirts.
Can’t wait. Good times!
about Janet Oakley
(Janet Oakley) (J.L. Oakley) is the author of award-winning fiction. TREE SOLDIER, a novel of the Great Depression set in a Civilian Conservation camp, which won the 2012 EPIC ebook award for historical fiction as well as the 2012 grand prize with Chanticleer Book Reviews. Its prequel, TIMBER ROSE, is 2014 IndieBRAG recipient and a first place winner in the Chaucer Awards. The Jossing Affair, set in World War II Norway, is under consideration at a publishing house.
Janet also writes memoir essays and historical articles. Her work is published in the Cup of Comfort series, Historylink, the online encyclopedia of Washington State history, The Sea Chest, and Clover: A Literary Rag.
History is her first love. She writes social studies curricula for schools and historical organizations, demonstrates 19th-Century folkways, and was for many years the Curator of Education at a small county museum in La Conner, Washington, USA. In 2006, she was the manager of a History Channel grant, researching old court cases in early Washington Territory.
When she is not writing, she enjoys gardening, walking, and the company of the active writing community in her town.
Janet’s Links
Blog: http://historyweaver.wordpress.com
PINTEREST: http://www.pinterest.com/helebore/
Twitter: @jloakley
INTERVIEW: http://www.tvw.org/index.php?option=com_tvwplayer&eventID=2011100047
TIMBER ROSE
http://www.amazon.com/Timber-Rose-JL-Oakley/dp/149370981X
TREE SOLDIER was an ABNA 2014 Quarter Finalist and Chanticleer Grand Prize winner 2013, and an EPIC ebook Award winner in 2012
http://www.amazon.com/Tree-Soldier-J-L-Oakley/dp/1453896473/ref=tmm_pap_title_0
Janet Oakley was my guest on CHANGES conversations between authors, an almost-weekly, Google+/Youtube video chat show, on Episode 21. Watch conversations with my previous CHANGES guests any time: http://goo.gl/eX0D8T
OPENINGS occur frequently! #Authors, especially those in sci-fi/speculative fiction and who blog, learn more about and get yourself on CHANGES, and
#Readers, recommend an #author to be scheduled as a guest: http://goo.gl/1dbkZV
If you’d like to be a Guest Blogger, please visit my Guest Bloggers’ Hall of Fame and learn what’s involved.
Thanks for visiting, commenting, following, and enjoying this site! http://www.sallyember.com
Sally Ember, Ed.D. 
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